referal, am I doing the right thing?

[ditavonteesed]

I have just got back from the doctors where I asked for dd to be referred for assesments. She is being assesed for dyslexia at school but school advised to get her refered for assesment for other things as well. I tried this a year ago and then backed out as I didnt want dd to have her self esteem even lower than it already was. She is actually in a better plaec now. I am certin they wont find anything but if she does have any problems I would like them to be found out now before she starts secondary school. Talking to the doctor (and the senco last week) I realise that a lot of my concerns are real and not just me being paranoid and a lot of dd's behaviours are different.

The doctor has asked me to take her red book and a letter from the school in I have another appointment next week, she wants to meet dd but has assured me she is not going to ask me to go over anything negative with dd there. The doctor seemed to focus a lot on dd's bad birth and problems with weight gain early on, I have dug her red book out and am feeling a little shaky after reading it as I had forgotten a lot of the problems which are very aparent in the notes from health proffessionals.

I have finally acknowledge that dd's behavioural and emotional problems are not my fault and I am not a rubbish mum as I have always thought. I worry that if they do find some thing I am giving dd a label that will stay with her forever and I dont know if this is the right thing to do.
Sorry for the rambling I am just looking for a bit of support as I dont really know what will happen now and after the early years with dd I am sceptical of halth care proffesionals being overly invloved with her as a lot of anxiety wascaused for both me and dd in the first few years of her life. She is turning 10 tomorrow and I can no longer write things off as her age.

You have concerns, you are following them up, that's the right thing to do.

Whether the assessments result in a label or not, they should identify your dd's strengths and weaknesses and give you and everyone else, including school a clearer picture and hopefully some support in the right places which could help to raise her self esteem.

Good luck

Your dd won't get a 'label'. If merited, she'll get a signpost to hold up to anyone who is lost when they meet her.

She and you will get to chose to whom you show the 'signpost' and when. You can show it at essential times only or you can wave it in every buggers face. It will be your choice.

You're doing the right thing.

starlight that is the perfect way to see it. thanks everyone, I feel like I have now, dd is happy with what is going on, she asked me a couple of weeks ago to help her as she 'has emotional problems and gets so angry', her exact words.

I backed out of having my ds assessed 2 years ago. I realised this year that a 'label' would help him. He got assessed and diagnosed recently and I have no regrets. It has changed his life for the better. You are doing the right thing.

Someone on here the other day said "Parcels get labels" our children get diagnosis's to help people understand them.

My Dd3 has Asd, she was diagnosed at 9, there has been nothing negative about that so far, all it has done is get her needs recognised and help people except her for who she is.

Good luck

"Parcels get labels" our children get diagnoses's to help people understand them.

My ds got diagnosis but in last 13 months its not helped his school or several of my once close friends understand him.

Why not?

Someone on here said to me The label you are trying to provide is one which reads 'Handle with Care' and is important to attain, so as to have him provided with the best help for his condition. I thought this was a lovely thing to say and really cheered me up when my family were against me having ds assessed/diagnosed. I am glad you feel better about things now op. Good luck.

OP you are definitely doing the right thing. Starlight put it brilliantly.

All you are doing at the moment is gathering information - what you do with that information you can decide later. My friend describes it not as a label but more like a passport or a key. It gets you access to the stuff your dd needs.