'Circle of Friends' - good or bad idea?

[cardboardcactus]

My 9yo DS with AS is finding playtime quite difficult as he is being excluded from games by a key 'friend'. He is a sociable boy and this is a new development which he feels very upset about. School has suggested a 'circle of friends' approach. I feel very unsure about this as I feel that unless it is done extremely well, it has the potential to do more harm than good and certainly will emphasise DS's difference amongst his peers, which I'm pretty sure he would not be comfortable with. Has anyone had any experiences of this approach, good or bad?

I never liked the circle of friends or the friends bench approach as Ds1 had and still does find friendship difficult, while he never understood when peers did now want him around equally he never understood when peers where including him. Nearly an adult his friends know they have to personally invite him as if they arrange something he assumes unless he is mentioned he is not included. For him without this ability friendship groups just fizzled out. His school arranged some group activities such as science club and chess club for him with other children invited and talk partners/ groups. Strangely some of these groups are still being used in his old primary even now years later.

Thanks Weller. I really want the school to help but they only ever mention 'circle of friends'. It sounds like it could be a lot of pressure for DS- being the 'focus child' with lots of discussion about him. He's so anxious as it is. Yet it is in so much of the literature on school and ASD. But my gut feeling is that the school will screw it up.....

Circle of friends have never worked for ds or being allowed to choose a friend to play with. Ds can be socialable, but always on his terms and when he wants to. He finds forced friendship, quite annoying and gets very intolerant of children wanting to be his friend and making demands of him ie asking him to play. Equally he finds not being allowed to play, when he wants to upsetting. Hence why he needs help with his social skills.

In ds's school they have lunch clubs (for long play times), such as wi fit, chess etc, although these don't necessarily help with his interaction skills, he is around other children, supervised, occupied and not feeling left out.

Forgot to add maybe you could give it a try or work with school with their suggestion, maybe you could add what you think will/wont work for your ds?