another day in paradise :(

[thriftychic]

sorry im going to have to just moan. no need to reply just no one to talk to.
ds2 wont go to school again today . today he says he doesnt want to do pe because he doesnt see the point in getting changed to listen to football tactics for ages , to play for 15 minutes and change again. doesnt want to feel sweaty all day afterwards either.
Also doesnt want to do ict because he hates the teacher and its pointless.
so , i have tried my best and when it got to the point of him threatening to smash a money jar over my head i had to admit defeat ...again. he knows that it means he wont get use of the tv , pc , xbox but actually all that will happen is in a couple of hours he will be so bored he will start going crazy.
He will be doing things to make my life as hellish as possible , like i pick up a book he will take it off me and throw it in the garden or he will repeatedly try to put the tv on or throw shoes around or have a complete meltdown which will be even worse. At some point he will be sorry and say he deserves to die or similar.
i dont feel i can go out now and i need to go bloody food shopping and have a doctors appointment.
if i let him have all the home comforts he will be happy but then he will never go to school and eveybody will say i am letting him have his own way or too easy or whatever.
ds2 is completely blaming me , he says i am making his life hell trying to get him to school . he also sees it this way when i am asking him to do anything he doesnt want to do actually.
still waiting for a meeting with school .
this has been going on for 3 years now. last week he had 2 days off , god knows how many it will be this week.
ds2 is 14 so hes a big stroppy teengager. he was diagnosed with asd last year.
i know i have lots to be thankful for so im going to make a brew and start focusing on them instead of moaning.

Oh thrify, that sounds like a horrible situation your in. I'm finding myself in a similar position this morning too. Although my ds is only 10 and 'kind of' managed a little more easily. He says he's ill, and also used some of the same excuses. I can't risk him being sick at school, if he really feels that way, so I let him stay home to save a meltdown.

I'm sorry, I've not been very useful but just wanted you to know your not alone.

thanks , its so hard isnt it . one of the days last week ds2 was saying he was ill . he used to say he had headache alot at primary school and i always gave him the benefit of the doubt but now he often doesnt even bother pretending to be ill just point blank refuses to go .

I feel we are going down that same route. Once he goes to high school, it'll all change. It's a very difficult situation. I don't know about your ds but mine hates me talking to or letting school know anything about him outside of school hours. He goes into meltdown mode whenever I have to call school and is convinced I'm talking negatively behind his back!

yes hes the same . he also wont accept any help from school and is terrified of being seen as having special needs of any kind .

amazingly i have just got him to write down everything he dislikes about his school . but , this is what he wrote. im not sure its very useful

having to go to school and be told what to do and treat like i am 3 , and is always so serious , you can never have a laugh and jole or you get detention especially when the teacher who gets paid over 25,000 a year cant even teach (miss xyz) . she can burn in hell. They need good drums , better drumkit and guitars and amps and art is too hard for me its too much effort.

Sounds a bit like ds2's list boring, too noisy, teachers are rubbish, not fun, outstandingly stupid ...... For him it is a mask to hide the fact he is incredibly anxious about going although to listen to him speak sometimes you would think we are bringing up a psychopath. He has started today at new school but I am not sure how we are going to overcome his fixed mind-set that school is horrible. Home education does not seem right for him either as he has become even more withdrawn after being removed from school and I find it very difficult to motivate him to do anything never mind work.

onein and sweet , are both your ds's diagnosed asd ? Hope the new school works out better oneineight. ds2 started his first high school and lasted 2 months before moving to the one hes at now .

Thrify, no my son is not diagnosed asd. He's just got a dx of ADHD and they're also looking at PDA - although he does have traits but nowhere near enough to diagnose him.

I'm under no illusion that my ds's list would be similar. It's always someone else that causes him the angst and things are never his fault.

Mine has an Asperger's diagnosis. As does his twin. Affects them in different ways. ds1 has the mega-meltdowns and ds2 has the uncooperation and withdrawal. He survived his first day at new school so that is a relief. Tried to bolt once but did not get very far and other than that managed O.K.

glad it went ok

I have ds 13 Aspergers and dd 16 only dx a few months ago with Aspergers also.We are having huge anxiety issues with dd Im afraid and she is also starting to miss lots of school with anxiety.She has a sort of social anxiety and really struggles to relate to peers etc,.This school year is really not off to a good start here.
You are not alone thrifty.