Experience and wisdom wanted please - how to deal with 12yo aspie ds1's hormonal rage?!

[MrsShrek3]

It is so different being in the parent's seat...when I was teaching young people with asd it was far less complicated now with my own one I lack any perspective and it's actually more confusing as I think I should know the answers but actually don't.
Atm he is flying off the handle at the most random stuff, more random than usual aspie stuff. And getting physical his younger siblings are an easy target. Anyone with any wisdom?

Is he aware of the triggers? Are you?

I think there'd a last straw element or some sort of delay goin on. you know where something tiny, or nothing apparent sets him off and it's all spaghetti in his head and he's got no idea why he is cross? So none of us have a clue wtf went on.

Senco said to me the other day (she has experience) imagine that on a scale of anxiety a child with As or Asd is already higher up the scale than other people, it doesnt take much to push them to the top of the scale. And raging hormones will add to that. I found that quite useful to get a handle on why Dd3's anxiety was spiralling.

Dd3 is rapidily approaching puberty and has of course just moved up a year group so has had higher expectations placed on her, as will you Ds have had.

I have no answers for you sorry as I am floundering myself atm.

You are definitely not alone though if that could possibly help in any way.

Good luck!!

Ineed - yes to the not being alone
yy to their anxiety levels, we have been explaining that fact to ds and his teachers for years, but it is hard for him to know how to manage it iyswim. Even more difficult for others (us included) to figure out how to help when he's being unreasonable.

brilliant point polter.
DS does very little extracurricular activity whereas his siblings do loads. Makes me feel justified in not overloading him. I often wonder if more activity would be better for him but good point well made

Once again, great advice polter we only do one night of activities and a couple of hours at the weekend if Dd3 feels like it.

We havent joined anything that you have to pay up front for for years apart from Cubs/Scouts.

Most days Dd3 just flops after school, we never do "playdates". It is reasonably easy for me because her siblings are much older, it must be hard when you have younger ones though.

DS 1 has turned up tonight and asked to do two after school clubs (just til 4pm) one is for geeks and aspies Science and the other is rock climbing, which we do in the holidays as a family, so he's got his own kit and is quite good at it.

Behaviour has been manageable over most of the weekend but tonight he attacked ds2 and hit him over the head with the pole that opens the loft (he's had to climb to get that) so big fall outs and punishment for ds1 we're not getting this right at all