ds2 is off again so stressed

[thriftychic]

ds2 (14) is refusing to go to school again today . he says its because he has R.E and he cant stand the teachers voice . I dont know whether this is a genuine issue ? as hes a master of manipulation and basically cannot accept that he has to do or not do anything in life that is disagreeable to him . he was off school yesterday with headache which was genuine (well i think so)
ive told him i will try to sort something out with this lesson for him but it wont be immediate so for now he has to go to school. not good , now on the verge of a meltdown.

he has refused school alot last year , often because he was in a bad mood at not having exactly what he wanted at home and not really related to school . he hates school because , he says he cant motivate himself to learn anything as he thinks its all pointless rubbish.
we are waiting for a meeting with school but in reality i cant even see what they or we are going to do with him

Not much advice but sympathies. My two (although younger) also really struggle with R.E. because they are not religious and have real difficulties to understand that other people do not have the same opinion as themselves. The school effectively let them miss the lesson by arranging their one-to-one sessions during the lesson. It can be a dangerous approach as I have heard of others who when allowed to miss some lessons end up refusing to go to all, however, given he is refusing to go in at all might be worth a try.

thanks for replying , thats my worry aswell . i could have let him go in late and miss it but i think he would then start picking and choosing his lessons to suit his mood . The rule has been that if he doesnt go to school then he has no use of any priveleges , the tv , xbox etc which has spurred him on to go on some occasions but its not the answer is it .
it also gives me a nightmare because in a bit he will start kicking off because i wont let him on the xbox.
ds2 also says he doesnt believe in God so theres no point in doing RE

How flexible are the school. Would they be willing to provide alternative work so that he is not getting out of doing work just R.E. Think my sons school knew RE was not going to work for ds2 when he decided to enliven the Easter story with some additional characters such as aliens and rats. Actually, not so different from most nativity plays these days and better than his usual stance of refusing to do anything if the lesson does not engage him.

im not sure but id guess not very flexible . he has identified the teachers voice as a problem but actually all subjects are a problem as he isnt interested in any of them . he says that he cannot make himself do what he isnt interested in and he cant remember from one day to the next what he has learnt anyway.
even at home he wants all his own way and if we say he has to go somewhere or do something he doesnt feel like theres a scene .
school really makes everything worse though , i think what little self esteem he had has been destroyed this last few years . if something doesnt get better soon i think i will have to get him out of there. not sure to where or to what but we cant go on.