I need a friend who understands...

[Katinkia]

My partner of 13 years is leaving home. He can't cope anymore.

We have 3 children. Oldest is 13 and dx autistic, is in special school, recieves HRC/LRM etc.

My other two, well the youngest has severe behavioural problems and senco thinks might be autistic. My other son is suspected aspergers at this point but maybe he's fine. I don't know.

What I do know is, they all have regular meltdowns/tantrums. All are swearing at me and being violent. The older two not so bad for this but my youngest is terrible at the moment. He is going into behaviour unit tomorrow.

I don't really talk to people about this stuff and have never hung out in these kind of forumss before although I've lurked now and again. But I'm getting to the stage where I could really use a friend who gets what my life is like.

Any takers?

I don't have experience in the issues you are facing with your ds's but I'm really sorry to hear about them and that your partner is leaving. I hope he is still going to give you and your ds's support as its not fair for you to be left to deal with this alone. I'm sure others will be along soon with more helpful advice that have been in your situation. Just wanted to say, chatting on here has been so good for me the last couple of years, especially when my DP was in denial about our dds problems and I needed to talk and get advice, I've learned loads from here. It's also easier, for me anyway, to open up and talk on here.

Hi Katinkia and welcome to MNSN. So sorry that you're having such a hard time and sorry about your partner.

You'll find lots of friends here. Our DC often have different diagnoses but we all understand what this journey is like sometimes and you can feel free to vent. Having said that there are lots of people whose DC have an autism dx so you should find plenty of knowledgeable people.

And check out our very own pub, the Goose and Carrot. You find us over on 'Special Needs: chat' on a Friday having a few drinks!

I don't have any experience of autism so I'm afraid I can't be of any practical help but I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

x post!

Agreeing that sticking around here is probably your best option for people who Understand, and, when you're ready, with sage advice about the best ways to deal with the behaviours you're experiencing.

FWIW, I have 2 boys with ASD, one of those with ADHD, too. They often feed off each other and their obsessive behaviours can often clash in quite an overwhelming way and, yes, it's hard to deal with.

I'm so sorry your partner bailed out. Unfortunately, this is a recurring theme, too. :(