Parents with ADHD children, words of wisdom needed!

[MzPixielated]

I'm pretty much convinced my son has ADHD or something similar, I first noticed his behaviour was different from other children when he started nursery at three. I expressed my concerns to the nursery who agreed and then had him assessed but the people that assessed him said it was to young to tell and advised me to seek help when he was older.
He is now six and I'm pretty lost to be honest. He lashes out for no reason/ no warning, constantly hyper and fidgety, say inappropriate things to people, has a hard time making friends, a ball of energy, his head is always somewhere else.. The list is endless..
Nothing seems to work with him.

I took him to the doctors last week and she said she wasn't going to have him assessed because he can concentrate on some things ie. a video game. I was under the impression from reading up (on ADHD in particular) that children could concentrate on things they enjoy but found it impossible to do so with repetitive tasks. Has anyone heard of/ experienced this?

Also is there any way of getting a formal diagnoses without a referral from the gp? If he has an assessment and there is nothing amiss then I'm obviously barking up the wrong tree and my parenting is to blame but I feel strongly that he needs some form of assessment. I'm so stuck...it's tearing my family apart, we all constantly argue!

Please don't flame me I'm so sensitive today. Sorry for the rambling post.

Sorry you are having a hard time. I have got 2 sons with adhd and one with add. Mine can all concentrate on video games. Think that us pretty typical.

Can you see another gp to refer you? Or can you do it through school? Sorry. Dont know how it works in uk. I'm in Germany and it's very different. Also recommend the book 1 2 3 magic

School nurse can refer to the local paed so I would go down that route instead.

Absolutely rubbish GP, anyone who knows anything about adhd knows that adhd sufferers can concentrate on very fast moving things - like video games and tv. Go back and ask again - basically don't take no for an answer. If not, ask the school nurse or HV.

My ds is 6 yrs old and has adhd (just waiting for final dx), and he sounds exactly like your ds. It's exhausting isn't it!

Hi MzPixielated I am glad you found us, We dont do flaming over here.... only support and advice.

I think I have a grown up Dd with ADHD, she doesnt have a Dx but I am pretty sure she has it and probably Aspergers too.

My youngest Dd has Asd so can be unpredictable at times. I would recommend keeping a diary of your Ds's behaviours and what triggers them [if you know]. I would also speak to the SENCO at his school and see if he/she will observe your Ds in the classroom.

Good luck

We had to fill in 2 questionnaires for our son's diagnosis. One was filled in by us and one by our son's teacher about his day to day behaviour. Our GP did not really get involved at all in the diagnosis. I think he just forwarded the questionnaires on to CAMHS. Having said that it was the school that was pushing for diagnosis rather than us. If your son's teacher has expressed concerns, that could be the way forward.

Thank you so much for your replies
I felt the doctor wasn't taking me seriously, I went to the GP as a last resort tbh because our home life has been so bad. I suffer from depression as well which doesn't help.
I don't know, in my head I sort of thought "oh yes go to the GP, then get assessed, then get a diagnoses and we'll all live happily ever after" which looking back was very naive of me.

I'm going to speak to the school tomorrow and failing that I'll ask for a second opinion at the gp surgery. I don't understand how a gp can decide in five minutes of meeting ds that what I've observed for six years is wrong.

Pixie you can via the schhol nurse if you have one. Otherwise, if you really feel he needs a formal diagnosis, go back and ask to see another GP if there is more than one at your practice. How old is he? My son was diagnosed aged 7 and like you, I realised he was 'different' around 2 years old. Once he started nursery, the differences seem to grow. School flagged it in year 1 as a real possibility. The Connors questionairre would need to be completed by both you and his school so the symptoms are present in more than one setting. It's utter bull*t that your doctor seems to think that if he can concentrate on a video game that he can't be ADHD ... my ds can sit for bloody hours watching WWE but has serious difficulties trying to read,write or concentrate at school, especially. Be sure you want him diagnosed, as I am beginning to feel that a formal dx hasn't really done wonders for my ds, but it has put a dirty big label on his forehead of ADHD which many do not understand or want to get to Good luck!

We got a referral to paed through DS1's school nurse as GP was useless.

DS1 has ADHD, as well as some other things going on. He can concentrate on a video game, or lining up cars or wooden blocks, or a number of specific things. But he very clearly has ADHD.

Manishkmehta...do u mean 100 hrs of direct payments or apart from that?

I had to change gp's for someone to finally be on my side! Original doctor was honestly crap, just told me my son was 'normal' and i need to get on with parenting him better. Saw school nurse, had to attend a parenting course and have a family support worker round to observe ds. After over a year, i now have a referral.
Judging by lots of posts on the sn boards on mumsnet, and from experience, it's such a long hard fight but you have to trust your instincts. We have had periods of calm and they give me serious doubts as to whether i'm doing the right thing but i know that i have to trust myself and jump through hoops to get help for ds.
Oh and for what it's worth, i could use computer games as a permanent babysitter! Trouble is the tantrums he throws when it's time to come off!

hi everyone, you are all so supportive thank you! I was half expecting everyone to tell me I was making a fuss and not to bother. I don't really want him "labeled" but if it means getting support or even just some advice on how to handle him then I hope it will be worth it. This is all new to me so sorry if I sound ignorant. I spoke to his teacher today and she's going to ask the school senco (?) to get involved and hopefully an assessment eventually. what is a conners (?) questionnaire btw?

Totally with all the posters who call BS on the video games comment from GP.

Glad to see your update!

Connors is literally a tick list/questionnaire, completed by the parents and usually school, of behaviours/traits. The results are calculated by software and a graph is produced to show the extent of various behaviour groups e.g. anxieties, concentration issues, impulsive behaviour, obsessive behaviour, aggression and so on. The results help whoever is diagnosing your child understand the extent of their condition, if any. The SENCO is the school's Special Needs Coordinator. Their job is to liaise with teachers or outside agencies they feel need to be involved with assessing/helping your child. Good SENCOs do lots more. You should meet them and the class teacher to discuss your concerns and ask them to make a referral via school if your GP won't cooperate.