My 6 year old son (ASD) has just started Year 2 in a mainstream primary and, along with the other 'battles' on a daily basis, the one that worries me the most is he has yet to grasp going for a pooh. This is not just at school, as I know many children save it until in the familiar surrounding & comfort of home, it is one that is consistently a struggle wherever we are.
He is potty trained to wee but when it comes to pooh, it is mostly potty-timing when I catch him with a certain look of concentration, or he wanders off.
I have tried gentle persuasion, with a happy tone of 'come on, let's see if you need a pooh'; 'let's just try and push and if nothing comes out, it's ok but if you do, then that's fantastic'; 'everyone poohs - mummy, daddy, F (his younger brother, also ASD), it's ok and nice to get rid of it'. We have an open-door policy on going to the loo and coming back to him with words like 'oh, that's better, I thought I needed a pooh, so I sat down and pushed and I did'..... We've used social stories, like 'Sneaky Poo' but it seems to him to be just a story and bears no relation to him. He screams that 'nothing is coming' and I try and explain that we don't wait for something to come, if your tummy feels full or you think you might, it's ok to sit down and just see.
I've also used rewards as persuasion but don't want to use any negatives, because he feels bad after his poohs in his pants enough but am at my wits end at how to progress.
His TA takes him at a regular time each day, to the teacher's loo, to save any embarrassment but he doesn't always pooh at the same time each day - it can depend on how much physical exercise, what he's eaten and whether he's been the day before or not.
I don't want to put him back in a nappy, as he has beaten the wee side and he has regular accidents at school but the TA cleans him up and changes him. My biggest fear is that it will be seen by other children and he will be teased. What can I do?
Any advice, suggestions or experiences of winning this battle, would be of enormous help and very welcome 