Other parents of special needs children

[Gorta]

Hi there,

My son is 6 and he attends a unit for specific language impairment. This is second year there. It is a small class just seven children.he is receiving fantastic support. He has also been diagnosed with aspergers. I have an older daughter with AS as well.

When my son got his place last year I was really looking forward to meeting the parents of the kids. I just thought we were all in the same boat and we would get on well together.
Anyway I just find I have nothing in common with this group of parents. They are either complaining over small things or just don't seem to be clued in. Now I'm a friendly person and I just make small talk when I need to but I'm on a hello/ goodbye basis with nearly all of them.

Now I do understand how people can be private and may not want to discuss their child but I'm disappointed how some of these parents want to compare their child with yours and its more one up manship. That at least my child isn't as bad as yours. I just find it sad that people have this attitude.

I suppose what lm venting about is that in my naive I was expecting these parents to be more compassionate and kinder rather than looking out for themselves.

Just to finish I have made friends with other mums outside of school with children with autism and I find them fantastic. Maybe it's just me and we all have different personalities and views of the world. I was just wondering had anyone else similar experiences.

Oh dear 'my child can do where's yours can't' really peeves me.

Not really the same but my friend loved to vent at me constantly about her son who has autisum. I have always been interested and concerned. Then when I found out my ds has sen she says don't try to help him as its a wastes of breath. She is the only person in rl who been there and should understand the system etc but unfortunately she's not able / willing too listen to me. I was upset but I try to avoid talking to her about our boys now. I really find it hard to offer up a shoulder to cry on for her when I am drowning in my sons problems. I would tell her 'oh life's poo - get over it'

Just talk here with us. Those parents our on their own journey and for what ever reason don't / can't help you on yours

I mean I wouldn't say 'get over it' as she does to me. I have never said that to her so I don't understand how she say things along those lines to me. What I have 'got over' is her

I have had the opposite experience, ds started a new school last week and for the first time in 3 years a parent actually introduced herself and spoke to me!

She heard my sons name and asked me 'oh are you miniclaw's mum, he was in my group'

She has an older son in the school with SN's and is a parent governor. She always asks me how my ds is getting on and we have a chat about general stuff.

To be honest although my child has SN's when I do get the opportunity to talk to adults, I don't really want to talk about SN's, my life evolves around SN's. I quite enjoy talking about something else!

Hi,

Thanks for the replies. 2boys I think you hit the nail on the head when you said we are all on our own journey but I find it a lifesaver to share with this group. Zzz I tried last year to do something social but we only really meet up together at one of our kids birthday parties. Nearly half of the children would be getting a taxi service. It's not really friendship I'm looking for but to learn from each other. Eg I started my ds in beavers last week and a mum I have never spoken to with a SEN child that I know to see approached me and told me how well their child was getting on there. I thought it was very kind of her to make the effort because she knows my ds has difficulties. I suppose its this kind of support I was looking for.
I delighted claw2 that woman introduced herself and yes I agree I don't always want to discuss my kids needs with others.

Thank you again.