Need new friends......

[Liliuk]

Hello,
Just a quick post because I am feeling low and angry. My friends whom I have known for about 20 years have stopped inviting us to social events since my DS autism diagnosis....they sneeked in a birthday party and are talking to me like I should be okay without me and my DS being invited. He has his challenges but otherwise is a good boy.......I am tempted to stop contact with them because frankly that is not on......Sorry for the rant. I don't have friends who have kids with a disability so I had to let it out and feel a bit lonely........

0ne of my oldest friends, who I am in contact regularly & who lives very close to us, is always having lunch parties and with no invitation our way. She then posts the pictures on Facebook, as if to rub salt in the wounds!!

I have 2 boys, 6 and 4, both ASD and she has a NT child who is 3. When my boys are there, they do tend to take his toys and, surprise, surprise aren't very sociable with him. He is an only child and a little spoiled, so not used to having other children around. Put the two together and he is always running to daddy in tears and daddy always takes his precious son's side and been known to even take a toy away from one of my boys, to give to him! Very hard work & this, I know is the reason invitations aren't very forthcoming!

I try to understand but a bit of support wouldn't go a miss. Don't worry - there are many similar-minded people on this forum, whose lives are just as jumbled as ours - feel free to rant some more!!

That sounds really crap , I'm sure you have thought about this but do find out about any groups where you could meet other parents in a similar position to you. I have met some amazing friends over the years through my daughter and they are really friends, we don't just talk about our kids, in fact rarely. Good luck.

Thanks to you both for your answers . Yes it is frustrating; I know many of us on the forum probably had similar experiences and it is roten. Once we had to deal with local authororites, experts (not) and other various patronising entities, friends should be the comfort, but instead as sneeky as the rest of them.......
I am only starting to attend a local group, because I think it would good as you say not necessarily to talk about the children but just to know that you are equal in the conversation. Sorry if I don't make sense; I haven't talked my heart out in a while!

Yes same here me/us too. I have stopped crying about it now and starting inviting everyone instead! Have the following thoughts:

Coffee morning for Class 3 mums, as well a Halloween meet up to go trick or treating. I am sounding too desperate for friends?? Somebody please reply.

DS's Birthday party (admittedly in the summer hols) I invited the whole class around 30 children 5 came which was just about right and all the children who came were lovely with DS. We all had a really good time too.

Playdates I do invitations so they can definitely come or not! again I am sounding too desperate for friends?? Somebody please reply.

It gets to me sometimes but other times we do stuff which neurotypical children wouldn't have the chance to do.

Swings and Roundabouts!

Welcome to the MNSN Raggydolls - Mums like You and Me.

If the friendship is worth saving and they would listen and you can be bothered you could tell them how you feel? Some people just don't know what to say or how to be anymore. If they wouldn't understand they are arses and you should move on.

kafkesque, very good! you don't sound desperate, just very eager to do something good for your DS, and that is great!
KeeponKeppingon, probably not that good friend that I can just blurt out they are arses, but good enough for it to hurt.....thankfully my DS is oblivious!