could this be signs of special needs or just terrible toddler stage

[ghostspirit]

my 3 year old will sit in her buggy and wee in it or go to the toilet and wee all over the floor with her clothes still on. this is on purpose she knows how to use the toilet. when i tell one or both my sons off. i send them to sit on the stairs she will get excited and say and me and me...

she spits/swears at people even strangers. if she is in stroppy she will swear like mad if anyone speaks to her. when have shouted at her weather its firmly,aggressive or loud. she just laughs and its like a proper belly laugh. i don't shout at her all the time it was just i was trying everything to see what works for her.

she is very spiteful as well. with biting,pinching and pulling hair. other times she can be really nice and kind/good. but you have to say things in a certain way. everything has to be 'fun' but then that's prob normal. like you cant say get your shoes or lets get dressed. it has to be all said in an excited tone. like something ace is going to happen.

I'm not sure if its just normal terrible toddler phase or if there is more to it. she is about to start nursery. so i was hoping that going to nursery might help to change things a bit.

i may be not explained very well. its fine to ask any questions. or if i think of anymore to ad i will do.

Not sure really - I hope someone more experienced can help. Could be just toddler phase but it sounds full on. I would write all your concerns down for the nursary and ask if they can get someone in from the lea to asses her. Tbh I did this at 2 but my sons dyspraxia was missed so also go to yor gp so you cover the health route and education

Both of my 'nt' boys went through the terrible 2 stage and got a bit spiteful, which lasted for about year. Strangely enough my boy with ASD didn't, he was always so passive (although he did used to head butt the floor in frustration)

Everything had to be turned into a game with all of them too, I will count to see how long it takes you to get your shoes on, lets have a race see who can put the most toys away etc.

They also had to be taught how to be 'gentle' or 'play nicely' or 'softly' etc ie me demonstrating what they words actually mean, I don't think many 3 years old would understand the meaning of the words like that.

I also used to tell them what I wanted them to do, as oppose to what not to do. For example if hitting 'be gentle' followed by me showing what 'gentle' is.

If you have real concerns then talk to your GP, its difficult for any of us to say if its anything more.

thank you. i spoke to someone at the school this morning. they will keep an eye on her and let me know if there are any issues and if they need to be looked at. it could be that she settles once in school. well its a nursery attached to the school.