positive secondary schools experience and ASD

[Peppapigisnotmyname]

My DS is 8 and has a dx of high functions ASD. He is very sensitive and kind. He's painfully shy and his best friend is my 4 year old NT DD, who in turn adores him! He is in mainstream school, high performing, and, although he's very bright, he's struggling with the pressure of the academic work in school. He did have friends in school but these friendships are waining now as they become aware of his ASD traits - at the moment his obsession is Sonic and the others tease him relentlessly leading to worsening anxiety. I had even considered consulting the GP re medicating for anxiety but I know nothing about this and am worried about going down that route. The catchment secondary school for him is a very high achieving school which refuses applications from statemented children (disability discrimination??? How can they do that??) in any event even if he went there, with his supposed friends, I'm sure the pressure would cause him to break down. I have spoken to SENCO at school and his current TA, who are fantastic, they both say the provision for ASD children in mainstream secondary school in our borough is 'appalling!'.

To complicate things further my DH is to be made redundant in two weeks so we are now thinking about moving to a completely new area where the provision for children with ASD is more positive, but I don't know where to start!!! Does anyone have any recommendations/good stories with happy outcomes? So worried about DS, I'd do anything/move anywhere to help him, thanx for reading.

No not really. Last academic year DS punched the TV and DD due anxiety caused by teasing from so called friends. (DS is not at all violent as a rule). The TA was great and got on to it but it didn't really stop so I asked for them to be in different classes this year. Teachers ( not his support) tend to say he's making it up but I saw some off these kids in the park playground with DS and they were vicious. He went to a laser quest party yesterday and ended up huiding in a cupboard because the others were shouting at him. When I collected him the staff told me what had happened so I know he's not making it up - but school don't seem to take me seriously. He's such a sweetheart, I'm so sick of all this!! And we're only one bloody week into the new term :(

Hi Peppa, We have a whole four days of experience at Secondary with DS who has Aspergers. When I started to look at the secondary schools, I began by ringing them up and asking them to arrange for the SENCO to ring me when it was convenient indicating I would need to chat for about quarter of an hour. When they rang, I then asked lots of open ended questions, asked what experience they had of children with DS's condition. How they would look to support DS etc etc. I also asked what proportion of children at the school had special educational needs. I then visited all of the schools which could be considered as within traveling distance. We are rural and between two towns. The school we chose appeared to be more proactive than the others and gave me more informed and rounder answers to the questions I asked. It is really early days,but so far everything they promised they would do has been done and was up and ready for DS when he started. DS was the only child who went to that school from his primary, but I thought it was more important for him to go to a school that was positive about solving his problems rather than be with familiar faces. When I submitted the application, I gave reasons why we did not consider the other schools to be suitable, so that if we had been allocated one of them, we could have gone forward citing discrimination.

Ds1 was a wreck at primary school, spent more time crying than working. By the end of year six party invites where non existent and the closest he had to friends where the other children deemed not to be popular. He actually thrived in secondary he went from a 4a in maths in year six sats to a 7c (if memory serves) in year 7. The structure suited him, the senco suggested lunchtime clubs such as chess, science etc and we pushed( gently) into him following football for his obsession to have common ground with other boys. He still only had a few friends but they where good to him. If I could of changed anything I would of moved area so he would of had a fresh start.

Hi Peppa
My DS is year 5 and so we are facing similar decisions.
School refuses applications from statemented children??? I think not (unless it is independent). I'd be straight onto parent partnership in your area if I was you. It also rings alarm bells that they are not welcoming, and as another poster said - you are better off somewhere where they WANT him.
You poor thing. Its very stressful. Sounds like moving area might be good timing for all of you. You can ring the LA in the new area and get information and the websites are pretty good. Or maybe ask on here.

Hi Peppa my Ds has just finished yr 11 at a very supportive secondary. Unfortunately it doesn't have a 6th form so he has moved to another school now. So far so good but it is early days.
My Ds has AS and severe OCD like your Ds he is academically able but primary was a disaster (long story).
I must say we happened on this school by chance as it was not on the list of good with ASD schools. Like Sunnymeg says you need to ring round to find out possiblities and visit any that seem remotely possible. I would say a flexible attitude is more important than anything else because not all problems are predictable and they need to be able to react to whatever comes up and change as your Ds changes.
Ds didn't know anyone at his secondary school but managed slowly and in his own time to make friends.
I don't know where you are thinking of relocating to. We are in SW England so if more detail would be helpful pm me.

DS has just started Y8 this term. He has AS and is v. intelligent.
We looked at lots of the local schools as the primary school had told me that the one next door wouldn't suit DS ( boy were they right when I went to visit).
At the time I visited the schools we were applying for a statement with no idea whether or not we would get it.
The school that DS is at now is the one where I felt comfortable that they would do their best for him and that he liked too.
I had to cause a fuss for them to do the extra things in his statement like the OT and the typing lessons etc, but in class and lunchtimes etc they have been great. Communication was great too.
We have had a few bumps but altogether it was a much smoother transition than I expected and he has made several good friends too ( most of them on the spectrum too as it turns out!)
They have just had their ofsted and it wasn't great, as it used achievement of past years, before this years results which were fab.
However I think that as long as DS is happy and engaged he will learn wherever he is and that the most important thing is that he is happy at school and not put off the whole experience.