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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Pathetic comments thread

72 replies

goldenretriever · 08/09/2013 17:50

Have had 2 interesting comments from work colleagues about my son with ASD recently which I wanted to share. Firstly, 'That's like Down's Syndrome, isn't it?' Secondly, 'They are more loving when they're like that.' Not to take away from my OH's Mother who bought him a rain coat and helpfully told me she had bought him a dark blue one 'rather than a red one so he didn't stand out, with him being the way he is' FFS. Anyone for anymore?!

OP posts:
Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 12/09/2013 22:02

ellie I think your DS sounds wonderful! What an absolutely perfect response!

I was recently told that at least bluechick might be in the Paralympics one day. Now I actually think it would be great if she was and loved the Paralympics but I was a bit Hmm at that seemingly making up for her chromosome abnormality and associated health problems.

Spiraling · 12/09/2013 22:13

'His to handsome to be autistic' from his step gran.
' we are all autistic', his gran, well pretty true in our family.
'He should try and read a wider variety of books' from his teacher. He only reads beast quest books, oh and with someone sat with him, but his reading, really reading Shock.

Trigglesx · 12/09/2013 22:22

Oh, yes, the "he's too clever" and "maybe he'll grow out of it" and "you wouldn't know anything was wrong with him just by looking at him."

Hmm
imawigglyworm · 12/09/2013 22:57

A ex (thankfully) friend said to me once 'i'd love to have a special needs child because you get treated different, get lots of attention and get everything given to you'
??really when? and mostly not good attention!!
and she also said about my ds 'I knew he was special needs the first time I saw him'
Im glad she did because it took almost a year to convince drs, paeds and consultants etc [hmmm] how I didn't slap her is beyond me?!

We've also had a few of the comments above too, my pet peeve is 'he will grow out of it/catch up' ummm NO he wont!

claw2 · 12/09/2013 23:35

I think my all time fav has to be 'if I had him for a week, id soon have him eating/toilet trained/doing homework ....insert whatever else he cant do'

And you just know that plenty of others are thinking exactly the same thing, without actually saying it. All that kid needs is a bit of a discipline!

Trigglesx · 12/09/2013 23:36

claw2 yes, I've heard that one. I think people sometimes think that the behaviours stemming from the disability can be fixed with discipline. Ridiculous, isn't it?

claw2 · 12/09/2013 23:41

It is and im very tempted to hand him over for a week and see how they get on too!

Brilliant pathetic quote from old SENCO when discussing ds's inability to sleep and what methods I had tried at a multi meeting 'have you tried telling him to go to sleep' Doh, why didn't I think of that!Grin

BlackeyedSusan · 12/09/2013 23:54

ht before he started, give us a couple of months and we will sort him out...

claw2 · 13/09/2013 00:00

Some schools are brilliant at curing Autism don't you know!

Old senco 'his difficulties are only on paper' referring to various EP, OT, SALT, CAMHS, Feeding clinic, dx reports. Damn these experts for lying to me!

Spinkle · 13/09/2013 03:08

My mother: pre diagnosis "there's nothing wrong with him, it's you" and "he can't be autistic, he doesn't walk around the edges of rooms" (she was a Special Needs teacher!)

Playground mum: "he's done so well (he has, it's true) he's nearly normal now"
Jesus wept.

sammythemummy · 13/09/2013 08:25

My cousin upon telling her that my 3 yois still not having proper conversations: "Honestly Sam, you need to talk to her more" sigh

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 13/09/2013 09:34

Old women constantly tell me he can't have autism he's too beautiful and he smiles.
Community pead told me to pray as only god can save him Hmm.
Old GP said he's not got much upstairs has he Hmm.
And all the usual bollocks like bet your loaded with all the DLA ect.

elliejjtiny · 13/09/2013 10:04

Strange how some people think we're so lucky to get "free" cars, DLA etc but when they are pregnant they say "as long as its healthy" rather than "as long as its disabled so I can get free stuff".

greener2 · 13/09/2013 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
goldenretriever · 13/09/2013 18:57

Wow, uggerthebugger, I don't know if I would have been able to control myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenretriever · 13/09/2013 18:59

also, a HV a few months ago said 'well at least you have the other one, she is as bright as a button' The douchebag.

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ilikemysleep · 13/09/2013 22:15

My MIL said DS didn't have autism, the only reason he wouldn't talk to her (or anyone much) was because I mollycoddled him. Then she added that she didn't like him much. He was 5.

Pixel · 13/09/2013 23:16

"Mini-oddgirl has had a good day but seems to find it difficult to engage with his peers"...yes, that will be the autism love...

Ha ha, yes, Ds's escort solemnly informed dh that in her opinion the reason ds doesn't speak is that it's 'something to do with his autism'. Now why didn't we think of that?!

Mummyoftheyear · 14/09/2013 06:05

Silasramsbottom, those same people are clearly saying the same to you as they are to me about my son! Lol

okthatsweird · 14/09/2013 11:40

I was recently told by my Ds's new TA that "Asperger's isn't a life long disability" phew! thank god! I can stop worrying about his future now because when he wakes up one day he will be fine.

Dm :You just need to let Ds go out and learn for himself otherwise he will be one of those Dc who sit in their rooms doing nothing but play on their computer all day with no friends". Sooooo that's where I'm going wrong tut!

After 3 years of me telling various teachers that my Ds struggles with his organization skills and pointing out the same targets on his IEPS his new TA tells me "I have noticed that your Ds needs help with his organization skills....if you imagine when he walks through the doors in a morning he is just overloaded with things that he needs to remember?? once we tackle these difficulties I can see him being way ahead of his peers academically".....wow no, it never crossed my mind Angry

Thank god they have employed this TA, she is noticing all the difficulties the out side agencies have been giving strategies for since he started at the school.

Starxx · 17/09/2013 13:10

I added my peeved saying earlier but reading through these now I realise I have heard pretty much all of these before ... Im going to make a list using these examples and put them on my facebook status to my friends and family so that they know what NOT to say to me lol x

Cheesy123 · 17/09/2013 14:27

Don't worry deaf people can even use computers - no shit!

Ellenora5 · 17/09/2013 15:28

"he will reach a certain level, so that's something to be happy about"

Really, I'm fffnnn chuffed with that, a certain level, who'd have thought it eh!!!

Anychance you could enlighten me a bit more on that, what level and in doing what.

"Oh you no, what most autistics do"

I walked out

MovingForward0719 · 17/09/2013 15:28

Fellow mum from ms school my son used to attend, asking me how he is getting on in ss. I say oh great, blah blah, working out really well, only 8 in a class etc. Fellow mum: well if they sacked all of these silly TAs, then they could afford to have 8 in a class at ms. Idiot.

WetAugust · 17/09/2013 19:00

DS ASD

"When he gets better..." exH soon after dx

"He must be very clever" normal stock response from people on hearing he has Aspergers

"He cannot have asparagus because people with asparagus learn" CAMHS consultant psychiatrist who couldn't even fucking pronounce the condition Angry

"Would he like to do woodwork" caring carrot teacher while discussing career options. (He now has 2 science Masters)

"Is he dangerous" an FE lecturer who wondered why he was accompanied to each lesson (by his outreach worker) Grin