I'm really upset but can't articulate why?

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

DS had a block of swimming lessons over summer. Following a long conversation with the organiser on his needs she placed him in a group she thought would be most appropriate. It was brilliant, small group with children a year or two younger than DS. Really play based learning, simple language, clear instructions and the instructor was fantastic with him. It was very basic in what they were learning ie, blowing bubbles in the water, learning to climb in safely, holding the sides and kicking, splashing their faces etc BUT you could see how each activity was a starting point to building up to actual swimming skills.

DS completely engaged with the sessions and had a ball so at the end of summer I thought great lets book weekly lessons. Had another long conversation with the organiser, told how pleased I was with how the summer course had gone and how that group had been perfect for DS and could we book in for weekly lessons in a similar style group.

First lesson today, different instructor (as I knew it would be) children same age or older than DS and it was a totally different style of lesson, the instructions and language were way beyond ds's level of understanding, the activities much more advanced (well still beginners but more advanced than his previous group) and it all moved at a much faster pace, so consequently DS was disengaged and lost but he didn't cause any fuss bless him, just looked a tad the whole time.

I didn't get chance to talk to the instructor at the end as the next class went straight in. I have phoned the office and left a message asking them to call me, which probably won't be til Monday.

I'm so disappointed and actually cried in the car on the way home, but I don't know why I am so upset. It wasn't a total disaster, DS didn't meltdown or anything so why am I so upset? I'm a fairly hard faced old cow but I'm scared I'm going to cry on the phone when I try to talk to the organiser about this or worse I'm going to rant at her and ask why this class is so very different to what we discussed.

Gah, please help me articulate why this is making so tearful, we've dealt with so much worse. Or give me a swift kick up the arse and tell me to get a grip.

God it sounds even more pathetic written down.

You're upset because children the same age as him coped with it and he didn't.

Seeing our kids in direct contrast with nt kids is always a bit jarring and especially if you hadn't braced yourself for it. You thought you were going to see him having fun at a level he could deal with and instead you had to watch him struggling so you're more upset than you'd usually be at the contrast as you hadn't prepared for it.

Not pathetic at all and I think you have explained it very well.

What a shame that the lesson was so different.

When I found an instructor that "Got" Dd3 I followed her around to different times and days of the week so that Dd3 could stay in her group. She was brilliant, she gave me her email address so that I could explain Dd3's issues more clearly because they never have time between lessons and even let Dd3 skip a level so that she could stay with her.

She is a good swimmer now and is ready to venture off to a different pool to do survival skills.

If I were you I would pop into the pool and ask if the summer instructor does any sessions in term time and if so book your Ds in with him/her. There are some very switched on instructors out there and its great if you can find one.

Good luck and I hope you have some success

Thank you, your both very kind. You're right I had already braced myself for the summer sessions and that had gone far better than i thought possible and so wasn't at all prepared for this to go wrong.

I forget just how much we have to prepare, anticipate and manage everything. I feel unreasonably angry at the person who placed DS in this class. It's not really her fault but through my eyes I the classes are soooo obviously poles apart I can't get my head around her thinking this would be his level. Hopefully when I phone we can switch to a different class. I think his previous instructor only does the holiday sessions as it's not her main job but will ask.