Ds birthday yesterday and i cried all day

[jogalong]

It was Ds 4 th birthday yesterday and i cried most of the day. This was his first birthday yesterday since he was refered to the early intervention services.
My heart was just broken. I suppose when he was three we could make excuses but now that he's four its all so much obvious and i suppose reality hit big time. Hes currently being assessed for autisim.
I love my little boy so much but an just distraught with all of this. Yesterday being his birthday was just so hard. And to completely set me off we were told we'd be getting his psychologist appointment soon.

Thankfully Im surrounded by fantastic family and have great support. Feel so much better today.
Onwards and up wards.

I don't know why but DS birthday always makes me weepy, I try not to let everything get to me, I'm usually upbeat and positive. But on his birthday I indulge myself and have a little cry, I think it's because I think 'well now he is a year older and so obviously not acting age appropriately'

But then once I've had a few tears and wallowed a bit I go back to normal.

Feel for you jog it is a really hard time when your child is being assessed but remember what ever happens he is still your lovely little boy.

If he does get a diagnosis try to think of it as a signpost to support for him. It is better for him to have a recognised condition than to be labelled as awkward or naughty.

I am glad you have a supportive family.

Good luck

Birthdays are hard - big hug for you

We held a family birthday barbeque for our son a few years back and apart from staying outside to open his presents, he disappeared back inside on his own for the rest of the day making his Lego!

It's not easy {{{jogalong}}} and nothing I can add to help but stick with it.

It's so hard to come to terms with. Part of you wishes nothing was found to be wrong and on the other hand it's all about your son and understanding his condition it makes things easier. It's a huge blow. It was a massive blow for me and it's taken me about 2 years to accept that my son has additional needs. If you need to talk x

Thanks everyone. Yes its such a blow. Some days i get so angry that its my little boy affected and then most days i just take it all in my stride.
Its a very difficult place to be and i don't think unless your in the situation anyone really could have a clue what its like.

My DD1's birthday party had 4 guests, all coming along for DD2.. DD1 didnt notice, but I did, I cried buckets when no one was looking. it is so tough :( I'm here for moral support L xx

Oh I really feel for you our beautiful son was diagnosed with autism in dec and turned 4 in march and it was just so so depressing on his fourth birthday I cried too. I get a few odd looks and comments if he's acting up in public and people ask me his age and I tell them 4, or when I'm buying his nappies, but I'm getting much better at not giving a shite and I will tell people he has autism if necessary but most of the time I don't cos I think they should mind their own business in the first place. I love my 4yr old boy with all my heart and I'm very proud of him, the birthday is hard, but he is still your same lovely boy and if anything like mine he will continue to make good steady progress so don't worry just cos he's 4 it's not the end of the world and he is still very little and there's still lots of time for him to learn and grow. Even tho our son was diagnosed I still made excuses cos he was 3 and do u know what I tell people now that although he's 4 he has the mind of a 2 year old cos it's true and other people seem to understand and accept that quite easily and the more I tell people the more accepting I am of that fact myself xxx

Hi my dd is autistic and she will be four this month dreading it

I did the same when my ds was 4. I cried as I was hoping for more progress and the doctor said that the progress he makes between 3 and 4 will reflect how severely affected he is :(

I think birthdays will always be hard but now I just take happiness in the small achievements he makes.

I know how you are feeling too, my dd was also 4 this week and has just had dx of ASD. We had a small tea party yest afternoon and family over during the week but as usual DD took no notice of the other children and wouldn't open any gifts or look at cards and that always makes me a bit , not just for me but for family that have bought her things and are excited to give them, but they are getting used to it. she did enjoy the party food though (she loves cakes) and blew her candles out for the first time, so that was great! Also her gifts were a hit (after I opened them for her) so it was up& downs. tbh think she would have been more content with a table full of party food to herself, a party with no guests!

Ds loved his cake and candles too and loved all the food. He had a great time openings all his presents but once that was done he wanted to be by himself.
My mum spent all morning trying to drill the number 4 into his brain. When she asked him in front onof everyone what age he was he performed and said "4" so we were all delighted. I don't think he had a clue why we were all cheering.
Anyway it was a great day despite my few moments

Glad u had some fun too. My dd would be exactly the same, she would repeat '4' but wouldn't understand that it was her age. I know it's hard when you compare to others their age as well. My friend had a DS 3 months before dd was born and they grew up together, we took them to soft play together and met up a lot when they were little and they reached their milestones together like sitting up, crawling etc and then the gap just started to grow and grow. He was chatting away to me about his dogs haircut on Saturday and it was lovely but it makes me sad that dd can only just say 'dog'. I'd really really love to have a little conversation with her like that.