I am struggling with DS behaviour, feel like I can't do this anymore :(

[Tiredmummyneedswineandsleep]

My DS has just turned 6 and has a diagnosis of ASD with probable ADHD , consultant diagnosed him at 3.5 and said it could be Aspergers but was too early to tell.

He attends a specialist ASD centre where he is thriving and behaviour on the whole there is fantastic and he is thriving. Whereas when he attended mainstream nursery and preschool even with 1:1 they could barely cope.

Whilst I'm delighted there are no education issues at present I feel like I'm sinking fast. I love him dearly but at the moment I'm finding him hard to like. He is so unkind at times. Constantly shouting and swearing and saying the cruelest of things. I am not a swearer, I hate it, it's language he's picked up out and about.

He is always telling me how much he hates me and all the horrible things he wants to do to me. All I've ever done is shown him love and affection. I lost a DD before he was born so if anything I've spoilt him.

I've sent him to his room because he was hacking an uncontrollable tantrum because he's broken his new bike he recently got for his birthday. He was shouting and swearing outside, it was disgusting, god knows what everyone thought who witnessed it. I find it embarrassing. His behaviour is like this on a daily basis.

He is now shouting that I don't love him and that he wants to kill me.

I'm on my own with him and have no one to help. Don't know what agencies if any can help but I feel at a loss as to what to do. I know it's wrong but I feel so jealous of other families who can do nice things with their children and who have children who behave. I'm sick of being sworn at and attacked by my own son on a daily basis :(

Tiredmummy, like polter I have had this with my DS when he was a bit younger.
He had huge problems regulating his emotions.
It's been slooooow but he has made progress and would now probably 'melt-down' like that about 3-4 times a year.

I've read the thread linked to above and second the advice polter has given on there.
I'd add that I found the book 'How to talk so kids will listen' really helpful. It's like DS didnt understand emotions inside himself so needed me to name and explain them for him. Thats been a big step.

Thank you so much for your replies they are really helpful. Nice to know people understand and I'm not alone but feel bad that other people are going through the same.
I'm going to speak to the school and possibly GP or Consultant as its getting harder rather than easier. I'm scared that a day will come when DS is bigger than me, he's already the height of an 8 year old with size 2.5 feet and he was only 6 this month.

He has given me a kiss and calmed down now but I'm know that tomorrow there will be several more triggers.

Just feel like I'm middling through each day, never feel happy.

*muddling

OMG - you have just described my son, to the letter. 4.10 year old (ASD/Aspergers & probably ADHD). I love him to death but struggle a lot of the time to 'like' him. He dotes on me, so is in my face constantly, kissing one minute, licking, slapping, pushing etc., and it can be so claustrophobic. He lashes out at his brother (6.10 ASD), who in turn lashes back harder and then sends him into floods of tears, seemingly surprised as to why he was hit back. He comes to me and clings to me sobbing, but shortly afterwards back to his jumping, running, bouncing self.

He draws frantically, usually something he has seen on the telly or computer - pages & pages as if to put what is in his head, down on paper. It's his outlet. All too soon, he's back up and when hearing our neighbour swear the other day, and seeing my shock of the words used, he now enjoys blurting out the words to all and sundry. 'F*ing Idiot' over and over again!

I do give him time-out but it doesn't seem to bother him.

It is so very hard to cope with, on a daily basis, I know. If you are on your own, can you request some additional help, to give you a break? Someone on here may know who that would be.

Not much help here, I'm afraid but just wished to show solidarity, so you don't feel so alone. X