I do. But not when dd needs my attention, or I have things to stress about (appointments/forms/problems at school). And sometimes I don't have the mental capacity to talk about it. Like my brain has gone numb, and I can't deal with what I'm going through let alone what anyone else is going through.
At times (for me) it feels like the normal school mums want to see things in their children that aren't there (I'm not saying you are) because they see dd getting extra help and provision. That was hard fought for (but they don't see that bit with the endless forms and meetings and assessments).
Or the see a behaviour and want to relate, eg my dd does that. I know they just want me to feel better, or not alone. But there's a tiny part of my brain screaming you have no idea. (There is so much they don't see, and I don't let them see)
Sometimes it feels like a judgement like how did you get DC diagnosed there nothing wrong with their behaviour.
Ask her at a different time, say when the dcs have been back at school/nursery (sorry don't know how old the dcs are) a few weeks. Holidays well mine anyway are full of just trying to survive each day and there's a lot you won't see, and she won't talk about
If she's only recently (in the past year) got the diagnosis, it may be too early for her to be able to talk about it objectively and separate her experiences from yours. And it can often be a hard fight to get a DX. And even when you know it is coming, it can be hard to deal with.
Don't say your son is okay just to drop the subject. Try to approach the question in a different way or at a different time. Eg, I'm worried about ds doing xxx, do you think I should ask for a referral to x or y?
But bear in mind that sometimes she may not have the capacity to think about anyone else.
Sorry. That was a bit of a ramble, and not sure if it helps.