Advice re diagnosis and HV moan

[goldenretriever]

My sons having his 'diagnosis meeting' in a fortnight, we have been told he will get an ASD diagnosis. Unsure about 'level' of Autism though. He is not potty trained at 4yo, but can say a few words and eat with a spoon quite well. He can walk, but can't be left alone outside it for long inside as he doesn't understand danger. He has poor social communication and skills. Don't think he has mild Autism, but don't think it is extreme either and don't want nasty shock. Advice?

Had HV the other day who thought my NT DD was great and she said 'At least you have one bright one' FFS!

I'm sorry. This really is the worst bit. However, focus on the information you get about your child. The more you learn of and are subsequently able to research, the better you can support and practice the areas your child finds difficult.

There is much to be optimistic about. A diagnosis is not a prognosis.

And your HV is best kept at arms length from now on.

Hiya my son was diagnosed in February. I still have no idea where he sits on the spectrum. I've never asked either! TBH I've decided to keep an open mind and just focus on him and what he can do. He has a statement and starts special school in September. Anything over and above this, I've figured out I probably need to work out what he needs and set about providing it (or paying for it) myself.

I have always wondered how on Earth people with no verbal censors manage to get jobs like HV. That is RIDICULOUS! I would have disassembled her

I am not sure you will get a "level" of diagnosis - it is really very subjective. The things that might seem most disabling now might become his biggest assets, and the smallest challenges now might morph into something entirely different as he ages.

Your best bet is to try and write down all the facts, and ask for clarification after the fact - perhaps even, during the dx meeting, ask if a second meeting can be scheduled a couple/few weeks down the road so you can discuss it again once you have digested everything.

The issues you need to work on initially are making sure he has adequate support at school and you have adequate support at home - beyond that, you'll have to lay out a constantly changing battle plan.

Thinking of you - this is never an easy time.

Ds has just had his ( verbal) dx. I didn't ask his prognosis. Tbh right now I don't even need to know the symptoms as his symptoms are his symptoms iykwim? I will research and google but that's for later. On the day if the dx I was totally ok. Yesterday I was upset and today I feel good. Dx can give you the right path to follow re the right type of help. My sons brain is not wired up like most kids, so what works for most kids might not fit him.

None of this is easy, it's ok to feel scared and all over the place. Your learning as we all our who are kids are.

My eldest son is a high achiever and tbh that makes my sn sting even more 'I will never ds do that like his older brother' as the gap between them is massive. But do you know what? One day my son will prove me wrong, and will happily eat my words. If he doesn't prove me wrong he will amaze me in other ways (I hope)

As usual thank you all. It is tough to have a bright child and a SN child and to resist the urge to compare. My son amazed me the other day, we left him for a few days for the first time. We came back and he ran up and held my hand to his face and kissed it twice. He isn't normally that affectionate and I assumed he would make a bee line for his Father - could have cried! Feeling blessed to have such a special boy.

As soon as i had got the strength & time, i would be putting a formal complaint in about your HV. I'm sure theres some good ones out there somewhere but all the ones i've dealt with are an utter disgrace.

All the best with the dx.

Jesus, what an idiot.
Unfortunately they are legion but console yourself by reminding yourself what she thinks doesn't matter.
Your little boy sounds gorgeous and what a fantastic indicator of his ability to further develop his communication and social skills. I'm an s/lt and when a parent tells me things like that, my heart leaps as it is such a great sign of the possibilities for the child.

Do we share a HV? Mine at baby clinic sits so every word can be heard by waiting parents, and she bloody mumbles unless desiring an audience.

I went for the first time in ages, she opened dd's red book and tried to read the consultant's squiggles and failed apart from 'MRI scan'. She BOOMED around the hall 'what's WRONG with her then?!' whilst peering over the table. (I boomed back for the audience 'It's about her tail' then left...). She also informed me she must learn to sit up in the next few weeks as 'they all do by nine months'.

What you say about your son sounds very positive (I'm a SENCo myself). In my experience dx letters I see are quite vague and often added to or amended over the years, e.g. just the words 'autistic spectrum' and then a description of needs/ abilities. I hope yours is better!