Just need to vent

[JustbeendiagnosedASD]

We have has the diagnosis for around 4months and DS is 4

The diagnosis has helped make DH take his head out of the sand, a bit.

I'm still carrying the brunt of it I feel, especially with Summer holidays, appotinments, paperwork, but luckily we managed to get a place from September, at a good school who have already put some TA support in place for mornings.
We might get full-time support if we get granted a statement and hear the panel's decision at the end of the month.

I guess I am mainly posting to vent about how people (un)supportive people have been.

The nicest reaction was that the diagnosis made no difference, apart from they could see some things were harder for us than for others, and we were all awesome and continued to invite us to things.

Others went radio silent.
Family reactions have been mixed. Some just refuse to even mention it, think we are crazy to have even gone to a doctor in the first place.
Others cannot see that it's a spectrum, and just have massively lowered expectations for him.

I wish that everyone would react the first way.

Of newer friends nearby, at first I was able to find company over the holidays, but as DS ignores or doesn't play well with the other child, I find eventually people tend to suggest meeting in the evenings without kids...
At 4 the other kids are able to articulate if they are bored or not I guess & ask their mums for alternative company.
I have done all I humanly could to make DS spend time with others this holiday, otherwise it would be just him & me all day which isn't good for any of us! But I'm not sure I know enough people to keep it up for the next 4 weeks till school starts!!

Well, feel a bit happier having got that of my chest. I never expected parenting to be like this!!

I know exactly what you mean about not expecting parenting to be like this! The aftermath of diagnosis can be very emotional as it is finally really real iyswim.
Be kind to yourself and take a bit of time to get used to things.
A lot of people just don't know how to react, some will 'get it' in time, but some never will. it is an invisible disability, especially to people who refuse to see it.
This place has been a lifesaver for me over the last couple of years as there is always someone on here that can empathise with whatever you're going through, good and bad.
Have you had a look round locally to see if there are any support groups, it can be helpful to have some real life contacts too and there might be groups for children with asd too. Try your local branch if the nas for local knowledge.

The best company for me when DS2 was that age was other families with DC with SN. Even if a completely different DX, they just 'got it' and didn't mind if DS couldn't or wouldn't play.

As time has gone by I have found out who my real friends are and that DS2 is actually a good 'arsehole filter.' he goes to a MS school and some of the other parents have been lovely. It is still hard, though, as DS2 really doesn't care about having friends. It's me that feels he's missing out, he's not bothered!