To ask for assessment or diagnosis - have I left it too late?

[SugarSpunSisters]

Hello Apologies if this gets long

This is about my DS1 who is 15. I have always thought there was 'something up with him' since he was approx 3 years old. He was my first dc, I now have 2 other ds (5yo and 11yo).

I was a single parent with DS1 and did not know anyone really with children his age to compare him to and over the years I have put his behaviours down to 'being shy' or 'being lazy' or 'going through puberty' or 'clumsy'

However, after reading a bit on the internet and coming across families with difficulties and disabilities for my job, I think DS1 may have Aspergers and/or Dsypraxia. Reading many the symptoms feels like they are written about DS1.

Examples: He cannot tie shoelaces, use a knife or fork, reliably or repeatedly kick or catch a ball, use scissors correctly or draw. Handwriting also very poor. Well below expected levels in school subjects such as Art, Drama, Music and PE (all now dropped) but more than ok in Science, Maths and ICT.

He frequently 'goes over' on his ankle and often falls over. He does not know his way round school or know his timetable after being at the same school for almost 5 years.

He says he 'forgets' to do his one and only chore (empty the dishwasher and refill) almost everyday and needs constant reminding.

He cannot make smalltalk with strangers - the hairdressers for eg is excruciating and I find myself making jokes or excuses about him.
He can only tolerate certain types and textures of food and is embarrassing in public and infuriating to watch when he eats.

All of these things together, compared also with his brothers and peers make me almost certain that he is not typical.

Have I left it too late to 'do something' - (what?)

Will I be doing him a disservice if I do nothing?

Where do I start? Do I talk to him first or the GP?

No! It's never to late :0)

If he lives to be 100 he needs to know for the next 85 years why he can do xyz and not to get a job that requires a steady hand.

It's better late than never I say

Its never too late.

I would be asking the GP to refer your son to a developmental paediatrician.

No, definitely not too late. My own DS was diagnosed at 15. It's explained a lot of worries he had about himself - he now knows it's Aspergers that causes it.

Thank You I am going to write some things down and approach GP.

I will look up that book too PolterGoose

It just came to me this morning, a good example of how a dx can help.

Someone (I don't know them personally his friend told me) was trying to changing jobs, had kids and another baby on the way. Basically lots on. He failed the entry exam for the new job then had a breakdown. After this he got a dx as a adult) No one knew before that.

With a dx maybe people could have helped him by telling to spread those things out (wait till baby was older etc) or maybe just been there for extra support in a stressful time. Maybe he could then have coped better with all that stress

So never too late