before I post and you read ...get your self a cuppa !!!!!
I will tell you my "clues" but before I forget to ask ....she is 5.8...I thought they did not diagnoes/look into dyslexia tilll a child was 7 plus as they had to be proved to be 2+years behind inreading/writting ???
I am not doubting you ..but it seems such a flippant remark to make this young I can see how your head must have been in a tizz.
I am on 2 threads at the moment about my ds, the other one talking about Asperger signs/traits which I am going to bring up at our next meeting ,....so excuse me if I go off tangent sometimes ...but I feel they are all connected.
When did I suspect....
from birth 
0-24 months
Very serious babychild...would give me 1/2 a smile now and then ,but blanked everyone else...but in a passive way...no words...an odd grunt grunt that I acepted as thank you...19 months 1 step...22/23 walking...stuborness showing...liked isolation when eating....no I mean he liked to be ignored as in no faffing or helping ....it could take him up to an hour to eat ...but it got ate !!
(I should say I had a 3.1 and a 21 month when he was born so I did anything for the easy life !)
2-4 yrs
My mum has noticed lots (as if I haven't!!) but she is a bit "me me me " and thinks ds3 doesn't love her because he does not give her cuddles or is as loving to her as the other 2
Speech probs noted...nursery ask if he is under SALT (they know he is not !)
and selective mutisim is mentioned...I said he was shy but will talk to me ....and left it .I knew it would not work as he got very anxious if he was going to have to talk, and got very ANGRY if I did not understand him ....which leads me on to his tantrums....scarey !!!! did not help when paternal grandparents wound him up on purpose
(he is under physio by now and in piedro boots and exersises at home)
Reception years
What a friggin waste of space that year was...they did not understand him or help him ...but I applied for SALT via HV (blood is boiling about them now so wont say any more!! 
We moved (yes I LTB!)
Living now near my mum...got the boys into a school known to me.
Took them to meet HT ds3 clung to me
no place in yr1 for ds so it was suggested he repeat Reception as he was a late July birth ....he hated it for a whole year as it was boring ...I now know he needed structure not free play...he ended that year still unable to read or write....big alarm bells ringing now!!!
That September there was a place for him in his proper year group so he moved to yr2 !....By then I had had enough of teachers saying it was the move that was causing him to "be behind" he couldnt even write his name.
I filled in a CAF form (?) and he has had outside help with behaviour (confidence issues not naughty) Lit support ,and a TA works with him and the child she has.
He has had Lit suport by a specialist for a year and it has been amazing .40 mins with her and I do her homework with him every evening and he can read ....ok they are aimed at yr1/2 but the pain of having to listen to him read has gone
He still cant write ...and that is the brutal fact of it ...the brain and hand are not connecting 1/2 hypermobility 1/2 something else no one is willing to say ???Weird thing is ...he loves writing me my shopping lists and things (cant read them while in the shop!!
Oh crikey what have I done !!!...bit of self therapy I think !!
Still ...How are you today 2boys hope you are well !!!
What other dx are you thinking you will be getting?
I am tempted to put mine in a sealed envelope now and compare at the end !!!