What will social services do for us?

[popgoestheweezel]

Or that probably should read what are they supposed to do for us? Dr at Camhs said he would refer but we should also contact them ourselves. I have looked on our local authority website but the info is very badly organised and I can't seem to see exactly what they will do. I don't want to waste my time if they're not going to be able to provide anything we need.
Ds has ASD/PDA & SPD diagnoses and a possible ADHD diagnosis on the way. He is pretty high needs.

They should do an assessment of your child's needs and also of your own needs. Make a list of both.
They may suggest Direct Payments - that's money they give you to buy additional support e.g. respite. But you'll probably have to push for those.

make sure they do both an assessment of your son and a separate carers assessment of you.
They should be able to help you access respite, assist with any safety issues in the home.
A good social worker is worth their weight but make sure they are providing what you need & not just fob you off with their easiest option.
Think about what a perfect support package would look like & be clear about what you want from them.

Dr at Camhs said we should contact them for respite, which we do really need. We're just about falling apart at the moment and both dh and I are very fragile, but without sounding ridiculous (hopefully) we look like we are doing fine from the outside; totally middle class, nice house, nice area etc. I feel very strange asking for resources when I know there are others much worse off than us. Is that misplaced socialist guilt?
I have no idea what the perfect package might look like!

You do need it!! Don't you dare tidy up before they come either.
If there are others that need support more then they should get more support.
Worry about you family needs and not what budget constraints they have or what others may need

I guess you're right, we do need to get real and admit that we need professional support. It has hit home this week after ds has been excluded from a playscheme and now i cannot go to work as we have no proper childcare (I have found an alternative inclusive playscheme but its different times to dd and only for a few short days). Its v stressful as we work for ourselves and the work is just stacking up (should be working now but mn is required for SN therapy- it is the only thing keeping me sane right now). On top of that ds has never been more hyper or demanding and it is very, very draining. There are still three more weeks of school hols to go too- how we will survive I do not know.
I have to say that our house is almost always tidy as both dh and I are a bit OCD about it (both sets of parents are hoarders so we're the opposite). I will stay up all night tidying if I need to cos if the house was untidy on top of everything else we have to deal with I would seriously kill myself (thats not even a joke). We do try to make it easy by having hardly any 'stuff'.

Do get in touch with SS and try and get the ball rolling, IME it can take a while to do reports and organise direct payments.

And ask for double what you need because they will cut it back themselves IYSWIM

And be honest about staying up to clean. You can't keep that up without falling apart.

Well said mymatemax

I nearly lost it this morning and dh has nearly lost it tonight We are really struggling. The thing is, this is our quiet time at work and we are falling behind, the minute sept starts we are super busy all the way till the end of the year and how on earth will we manage that I just have no idea at all. I think that is what is so hard as we know pressures are just going to build over the next few months yet we are only just hanging on right now.
I have tried to get some childcare organised and had 3 nannies coming to see us this week, two have them have dropped out of the arranged interview which is pretty disheartening esp after ds got excluded from the play scheme. I've contacted a number of other playschemes but got no response other than these few hours at the inclusive scheme. Not sure what we will do when school starts Ds says he absolutely hates the after school club he used to go to so options are seriously dwindling.

pop, can you take on anyone to help with the workload, it may be an easier solution than trying to find childcare.
Whereabouts are you? Is there anything practical anyone on here can do to help?

We got 4hrs help a week. Very grateful for it but a drop in the ocean and still would not be enough to help me get a fulltime job.

What types of fulltime jobs should I go for that are understanding about endless appointments, meetings, school exclusions, illness, long school holidays ect. I think probably the council, education and health because they all seem so relaxed compared to business. Anybody got any suggestions?

Do you get DLA? Dc1's goes on a cleaner.
Agree with suggestion of delegating some routine work, if you're self-employed. Can be better value than SN childcare especially as paid from pre-tax profits, not your taxed profit/wage/allowance.

And look on your council website. Some allocate a small amount of universal respite funding per annum (not a lot, maybe 72h total) even without a full care package.

kafkaesque, don't think public sector is relaxed. Inefficiency and poor service doesn't mean underworked staff.

Imagine 40h/week trapped in an office with 30%numpties on permanent contacts, constant barriers to actually doing your job, mindless excuses, long winded procedures, stupid targets, management-speak and half-truths, government edicts. Probably on unpredictable earnings & a zero-hours contract cos that's all our LA and health lot will offer new staff now.

Self-employment is the only way

I do delegate a lot of day to day work to others but there are some things that only I can do, the overarching planning etc. in some ways every extra body is another responsibility we need more help with ds though, we just need a break. This morning he must have called 'mummmyyyyyyy!' At least 100 times between 6.30 and 9am, even though I was in the same room as him 90% of the time and had at least 3 breakdowns about some trivial thing. He also 'stripped my bones' with a wooden toy sword which really hurt!