worried about my ds

[armani]

I have recieved alot of help on here regarding my dd- dx learning difficulties, gdd.
i wondered if any could advise me about my ds aged 4, starting school in sept.
ds was ref to salt by nursery due to speech clarity and understanding. salt assessed and found that he has difficulty with understanding 2+ part instructions. plus difficulty in pairing things together that are the same. salt also said his vocabulary is advanced for his age.
ive noticed that he constantly repeats certain phrases that he has heard. for example he knows the weedol advert off by heart he also takes certain phrases very liberally eg he had heard me saying that the dc were breaking up from school soon and a few days later he said mum I cant wait until school snaps up! I was confused what he meant but he then explained it to me.
he is also obsessed with rhyming words, he will try to find words that rhyme with almost all words that he hears. he also repeats certain words over and over again like if he is tired he will repeat the word tired over and over again.
he is also very sensitive to certain smells. he hates the smell of crisps if anyone sits near him when eating cheese and onion or prawn cocktail crisps he screams and runs away. also if he can smell something that he doesnt no what it is he gets distressed and has to find out what it is and get away from it.
he is very fussy about food. will only eat limited things, eg battered birds eye chicken nuggets, plain pasta, plain noodles, plain crackers, bread sticks etc. he wont eat sandwiches, cheese, ham, any veg apart from a few carrots. I have tried to encourage him to try broccoli etc and he physically urges and cries
he is v scared of insects and birds and because he saw a spider in the bathroom weeks ago will now not go into the bathroom without me. he will only use his potty and gets hysterical if encouraged to use the toilet. he wont wipe his bottom either.
he is also very obsessive about things. his duvet cover has to be facing a certain way or else he gets distressed.
he likes to spend hours on youtube watching videos about angry birds or how kinder eggs are made. he has a comfort blanket that he sniffs, if I wash it he cries. he also likes to sniff me.
he has to have his light on at night and always ends up coming into my bed every night.
he gets very violent and distressed if I dont let him have his own way. if i try to say he cant spend any more time on you tube etc he gets really angry, screams, hits, throws himself to the floor etc. yesterday we went to pizza hut as a treat for dd and he had a meltdown as the chicken nuggets were different

his violent outbursts feel like they are overtaking my life at the moment
any advice would be really helpful. thanks

sorry for the essay and typos im using my phone.

I also think that you have described enough concerns to warrant asking for an assessment for ASD or SPD.

I agree that if you have concerns (and it's pretty obvious you do and with what appears to be good reason), then get a referral for an assessment by a paed.

If he is afraid of spiders, is there perhaps a way to show him he can deal with them without being afraid? Perhaps a little bug catcher that means he doesn't have to get close to the spider at all? And then you can let it out harmlessly outside - reduce the spider from a threat to simply an outdoor creature that accidentally wandered inside? (says the woman that is terrified of spiders and beats them to death with a fly swatter )

I merely approached the spider part because getting past that will allow him to use the toilet again, which must be very upsetting for both of you

thanks for all of your advice. I was going to wait to see if school had any concerns before asking for a referal but I am finding his behaviour so difficult to manage.

nursery have reported that ds is reluctant to try new things but with encouragement will join in. they have also said that he has a few friends.

I would ask for a referral now, as everything takes so bastard long. Good luck.

Yes, for us it was 18 months from first asking for help to diagnosis.

Two and a half years here from referral to diagnosis so def do it now.