can you explain something about HFA and speech delay for me please?

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

My nephew is 3 and a half and being evaluated for HFA. He's very bright and has amazing skills in terms of the computer and in recognising shapes, numbers and is starting to read a little but he is very delayed in terms of conversational skills.
He is on waiting list for speech therapy

When he makes a (rare) observation, it's usually through echolalia...which he applies in a suitable way...so he might say "Rain rain go away" if it's raining. He has about 3 or 4 stock phrases for familiar situations but otherwise no "functional" speech.

His Mum is going mad with worry about him as he can't really ask for anything...also potty training is a nightmare due to his not being able to say when he needs to go...he begins preschool soon and it's a worry...how much will speech therapy help and how quickly? Also will he eventually "get" conversation and what it's for? I look after him around 3 times a week and I try to help him by talking to him a lot but he's not very open to it. He is very social though and loves playing with other DC. I want him to have the chance to make friends in preschool but the language barrier...it's such a worry...

Also some of the signs of HFA he had last year are sort of fading....like his noise sensitivity and his difficulty with textures....he's also begun to eat with utensils now...and his stims are going a bit too... could he be improving in some ways?

Sounds like he is improving ! That's a good sign ! My nephew started school and had one to one speech therapy at school and he's chatting beautifully now ! I remember him using a simple sign language before when he was much smaller and his twin did a lot of his speaking for him - she's old enough now to let him say it for himself ! There was a time when everything just seemed to click ! Just be patient and encourage and respond to any sounds ! And it sounds odd - but try and discourage others from saying 'shut up' to others while in his earshot - as it gives the impression that speech can be bad. :-)

Oh good....that sounds encouraging. He's going to have a one to one...is your nephew still with a one to one can I ask Wookie?

My DS (4) has a speech delay. Aged 3 he was fantastic at numbers, shaoes, colours, letters but no conversation. I don't think he has HFA, but at the same time I'm not ruling it 100% out.

He was fine at pre-school and they were very good with him. The pre-school took the children to the toilet regularly and there were no problems there, unlike at home! Aged 4 his language began to improve and has come on loads in the last six months. He still uses repetitive phrases, but can also think for himself what to say. He became much better at asking for what he wants and talking about his experiences. He didn't have a lot of time with a speech therapist, but the pre-school did activities suggested by the speech therapist several times a week.

He still struggles with questions and I am a bit nervous about him starting school.

Try getting Hanen book It Takes two to talk or More than Words (MTW is ASD version, ITTT is for language delay / disorder) - Wilmslow or Amazon have best prices.
Sometimes if children have a language disorder / delay that can present as like autism but the autism symptoms reduce when the language improves. To have autism you have to have a social deficit as well as a language deficit.
DS has ASD and his speech was (and is) very like this he will often sing a song which is in context. Its because he finds it easier to memorise songs than speech and easier to say something he knows already than to have to 'find' the right words which is really hard for him.
You can also look into PECS (picture exchange) and perhaps go on a course so can use pictures to communicate which does not stop language coming but supports it and can ease frustration of not being able to communicate.
You can make your own picture cards using a site like mrsriley.com or free ones on sparklebox, do2learn. If he can read then put the word on as well as the picture.
Speech therapy varies by area. Here there is no direct speech therapy for under 5's with autism they only give advice to nurseries similar to what you can find yourself in the hanen book. Some areas do drop in speech therapy eg childrens centres.
Cerebra do a speech therapy voucher scheme (if its ASD or neurological) or you can find a private therapist.
She can apply for DLA to help with costs of books, materials, therapy etc (see Cerebra guide and AFASIC).
Of course should get therapy on NHS but we found it poor quality.
Can also look to see if any speech units etc around instead of mainstream. These can be a great way of accessing specialist support and then moving into mainstream later once the language has come on, or going as dual placement to a speech unit and mainstream pre school.
DS is 6.5 now and although he has lots of words and phrases we are still a long way off conversational speech and I'm not sure if he will ever 'chat', he speaks only when necessary. He can understand alot more now though but every word has to be specifically taught.

Thank you to all. so much advice. Agnes, he's improved a lot in that he does now make some observations and things and socially he is what I would call clumsily keen. Because of his language troubles, he can't really approach other DC well....but he loves them. He loves to interact and he loves new social situations...no shyness at all....he'll just run up to a child though and get in their face which often sets them on the back foot.

Is a socail deficit something which means the child doesn;'t like socialising or that they're not good at it? Because I get the feeling that if he DID have the language, he'd be fine. At the moment he's only equipped for the simplest of games...chasing and so on...he loves them. he shows no discomfort when kids touch him and he only gets upset if other kids argue or fight with one another.

I don;'t think his Mum would consider that though it has crossed my mind. She's very stuck on the local one and she'd have a hard time travelling to another....she's already been in re his start in Sept for preschool. I am not even sure if there is such a thing in the area.

It would be very sensible to think about getting a statement of special educational need in place for him wherever he goes to school. Certain placements can only be accessed with a statement, but even if he was to go to a mainstream school you want to ensure that support is there. I think many people here have had a similar experience to us with speech therapy in that it is more or less non existant at school age. DD is about to start in year 4 and has had NO direct speech therapy at all from the NHS since she started school. I have finally moved her to a specialist placement where this is now provided in school for her so the NHS situation thankfully for us is no longer relevant. If however you get a statement in place from the start speech therapy can be documented in this as a need and if the NHS do not provide as they should do the local authority will be legally obliged to do this instead. It can be a big fight to get a statement and then to get the right provision in it but don't give up if he needs this level of help. It takes a minimum of 6 months to get a statement in place too so now is the time to be getting the ball rolling. Lots of advice here for how to do this and also take a look at IPSEA website.