Im on the verge of ringing Social Services as i cant take anymore

[CrazyHamsterdisguisedasatree]

Ds 4.5 has suspected ADHD/Aspergers & OCD .

He usually attends full time prep nursery as he has to have a set routine or he turns in to a monster , since the nursery has closed for the holidays 2 weeks ago he has become uncontrollable.
We have had 1 day out which he managed ok because he just kept going round on the Waltzers (loves speed & spinning) , I had to go on with him & they let him stay on because they had never had a four year old or anybody of similar age love it & enjoyed the thrill of it , they even put it on super fast for him I was kinda scared .

Anyway apart from that one day , all he does is ruin everything in sight , doesn't listen & never ever stops , he hits me , he throws stuff at me & swears like an I don't know what .
I can't take anymore of the abuse or his behaviour , I give him consequences & punishments but he just doesn't bother .
I give in cleaning up after him as he is like a tornado , I have locks on every door in the house & he just climbs up them & undoes the latch .
Oh & he never stops eating , he has proper meals & I refuse to let him have junk but he will happily sit their & eat a whole bag of carrots its just not right

After 4.5 years of him not sleeping longer than 3 hours a night I have finally fingers crossed got him sleeping from 7-7 as he has been put on melatonin & he has piriton an hour before bed every night as well (Doc advised me to until the melatonin kicks in ) , I just can't sleep myself as im either cleaning up or checking on him every 2 minutes , I know I should be greatful that he us finally sleeping , I just need his behaviour to change .

I refuse to take him anywhere now as im fed up of the questions & people staring at us because he calls me a fucking knobhead or punches me in the face
I can't take another day , I honestly give in at this sorry for the huge ramble

How is he at nursery? Have you got any help at all? Is his father around? Grandparents?

Hi bless you, that sounds tough. My son is 6 with ASD. Life is difficult and challenging, but I have to say the improvement in him from when he was 3/4 s amazing and I do think it's a tiny bit of maturity kicking in so hang in there, because it should get better. Having said that, I have found him more difficult this past week, specially bedtime and I think he is missing the school routine, even though he loves being home so I am trying to think of some ways to approach this. I agree with PG, somehow findings way to stay calm and stand back from the bad behaviour does help but it's very difficult to do when you are locked in a bad cycle. My son is starting ss in September so moving forward I am hoping to use their playscheme for part of the holidays, which will give a bit of respite. Sounds like you could do with a bit yourself.

Yes, ring Social Services, but in order to get help. They need to do a core assessment with a view to identifying help available for you, e.g. respite care. Do it now.

I will try a timetable , Thanks

If he likes spinning you might want to invest in a spinning chair like this:
m.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/art/40100253/

You might also like to consider ABA (applied behaviour analysis) to help deal with the behaviours. I would recommend a book by Robert Schramm called Motivation and Reinforcement as a good place to start.

I feel for you. DS2 has Aspergers/ADHD and it's an exhausting combination!

YY to the sleep difficulties, and for several years I couldn't take them out anywhere unless I had an extra adult as he needed 1-1 when we were out, for safety reasons.

With him, things have got much easier with medication and increased age. A lot of things are possible that weren't before. I hope you are somehow able to get some support to help you cope in the meantime.

I agree, do ring social services to get in the system for some respite called "short breaks" these days. In the future you may need them to part fund school placement so the sooner you can create a track record if them knowing the issues, the better. Good luck, I do feel for you.

Thanks everybody , I will have a read through & reply properly later

He sounds very like my DS. To be honest, a lot of what you are describing does sound like ADHD to me. Have you considered him trying medication (Ritalin). In my DS's case it is the one thing that has made a difference, he will listen and I can use behavioural therapy with him when he is on meds but I have been told that it is almost impossible to do anything with him when not on meds. I realise meds are controversial but the way I looked it it was that the risks to his development of not being on medication were far greater than the risks of being on meds.