My DS is 4.5 and is currently under observation at our CDC. I have 2 older DDs, DD1 is 10 and has HFA/AS and DD2 is 8 and has Dyspraxia and mild learning difficulties (probably dyslexia).
He developed normally as a baby/toddler meeting most milestones
Sever speech and language delay (less than 15 words at 3.5), which was discovered to be caused by glue ear and a modrate/sever hearing loss. He had a grommets op last year, his speech has come along but progress has been very slow and he is still very delayed. The grommets however have now come out, and tho his hearing loss atm is only mild the ENT feel that it will be worse come winter and he has been referred for hearing aids. The grommets when in kept blocking and rarely made much difference to him, so i was reluctant to have any more. His understanding is better, he can follow simple instructions. Tho his understanding has never been assessed as the SALT cannot keep him interested long enough to do so hmm.
From a very young age he was an escapeologist! safty gates we're adapted (to adult chest height) Drawers in his bed room we're turned to face the wall, so he couldnt use the drawers to climb over gate, he had to be padlocked into his pram from 18mths old, as he would let himself out and run off. There is more, but i think that give you an idea!
He has very little concentration, and is only really plays with Fire Engines and tool type toys. His interest in Fire engines is intense and has been since he was 18mths old, i would describe as obsessive. No interest in drawing (has never so much as drawn a smiley face). Tho i ofted get paintings home from nursery, with a lovely big red blob of paint 
When hurt he will seeks the comfort of our labrador rather then come to me for a hug, tho he will hug.....on his terms. If he gets up in the night he will look for dog rather than us.
He has lots of mood swings, and will go from happily playing, pottering around to furious!! lashing out, kicking screaming! (anything that will basicly inflict pain on others) There is often little reason for these outburst. This is several times a day at varying degree's. The lashing out is mainly at my DD1 sad.
Very little sense of danger! i still need to hold his hand firmly when out and about.
He has no respect at all from adults, will threaten them (ill get my Daddys hammer and hit you sad ) if they speak/look to him.
Potty training has gone well, tho he refuses to do a poo on the loo, we have tried every trick and bribe i can think of!.
He loves being outdoors and up to his eyeballs in mud!, we have an allotment and he spends hours there with DH.
Activities/weekend outings, we split into two groups, DH will take DS out and ill take the girls, outing with all 3 DC together are just to stressful and no one end up having any fun at all. I cant take all 3 DC many places on my own in the holidays as DD1 still needs close supervision as does DS. It was ok when DS still used a buggy, but he is to big for it now.
In nursery he is on a whole fine!! yes they also struggle to get him to engage in things he has little interest for and he is described as being very busy! he has a couple of friends, tho his play skills at nursery from what his key worker describes are imo on his term. At play time he digs holes, he will encourage his friends to join him, but he isn't fussed if they dont, and will just continue what he's doing. There has been no temper out burst at nursery at all! On a whole he enjoys going. Family and close friend who know him well are quite literally flabbergasted when i tell them how he is a nursery.
I could go on, but i didnt actually intend this to as long (never could bloody bullet point!) i swing from thinking he is just plain naughty...to no this just isnt right!! tho in lots of ways he is like my DD1 but he is certainly far more sociable and less rigid than she is, but far more melty (lol is that even a word?) anxious?? than she has ever been. I have friends (tho not close ones) who say "he's just a boy!!" hmm thats what boys are like!!. Anyways your thoughts please...and please dont feel you have to sugar coat your opinions! if you feel any of the above is quite simply normal 4yo boy bahaviour or poor parenting, then PLEASE say so.