Sorry - rant ahead. A year ago I contacted SS asking for someone to come out to assess us with a view to getting direct payments so that I could get help for one afternoon per week (ok, overly optimistic as I now know) so that I could do things with my NT children as my SN child hates changes to her routine and goes into a complete lather about the slightest thing being different after school.
Riiiight.... a woman came out to meet me and do a preliminary assessment for 2 hours. She went away and I never heard from her again (I did chase it up a few times but phonecalls were not returned).
In February a bloke rings me and tells me that we have now been transferred to his caseload.
He comes out and tells me all about his holiday, his family, his previous jobs. He also manages to drag himself away from the excitement of his private life to ask me some questions about dd2. He stays for 3 precious, 'ds-is-at-nursery-and-I-need-to-do-some-work' hours. At the end of the 3 hours he decides that he needs to do a full assessment.
He also says that he needs to come and talk to dd2 about her needs (pissing myself laughing here if I wasn't so cross - dd2 is 5, has DS, doesn't talk and is like a toddler really).
He comes back 3 weeks later for this conversation with dd2. Dd2 ignores him. He tries to tell me all about his holidays. I politely chuck him out (it's 5pm and I have 3 young children to look after and feed FFS).
Comes back 6 weeks later for first part of full assessment. Sits in my garden wittering on about how lovely it is to sit in the sunshine whilst also getting paid for it 
.
Asks me stupid questions such as 'So has she been diagnosed with DS?' followed by 'Does she have a learning disability?'. Calls children with DS 'Down syndromes', i.e. 'I've got an older Down's syndrome on my caseload, but I don't really have many Down's syndromes'.
Leaves after 3 effing hours having completed a third of the report, makes appointment to be back in 2 weeks' time.
Halfway through the meeting bloody dh lets the puppy out of the house. The puppy gets a bit overexcited sometimes when greeting people and pees with excitement (apparently a normal puppy thing). Anyway... puppy races to SW and manages to pee all over his briefcase whilst greeting him excitedly. Despite my most fervent prayers the patio does not open up to swallow me.
I'm sick of this. I'm sick of these flippin' meetings taking up all my precious time, having to listen to this bloke witter on about how good his son is at rugby and how lovely Malta is, and of being continually, subtely offended by his language.
I just wish I'd never rung them in the first place. :(
Well done if you've read this far!