Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

SON WILL NOT SIT IN HIS CAR SEAT AT BREAKING POINT

51 replies

AngP2585 · 23/07/2013 19:36

My 3 year old son will not sit in his car seat, I sit him in it and he jumps out and climbs into the front and starts playing with all the controls. He will not listen to me at all! I tell him to get back in and he refuses I have to haul him out the car with great difficulty and then it all starts again. I have had to ask Nursery teachers, neighbours or anyone else I think could help me. When someone else tells him he does it!

I have been putting a treat in his car seat and saying he will get it when mummy straps him in. That was working for about a month but he is not interested despite trying different things. He is not interested in toys or books as a distraction. I have consulted all the proffesionals and tried everything they have suggested but no joy?

Anyone have any suggestions?

OP posts:

MumuDeLulu · 24/07/2013 23:04

Same thing here. Pharmacist was the most help.

Told me consider car sickness, and give the highest allowable dose of Phenergan before any long journey.

Don't know if it helped any sickness, but dc fell into a nice long deep sleep... during which the straps stayed on

Not much help for schools runs & shopping trips tho

Pixel · 24/07/2013 23:27

Timid, believe me ds has tried his best to get out of it. He has come close a couple of times (he's practically double-jointed) but has never managed to get all the way out and get loose in the car. Obviously you have to adjust it properly and I will admit it is a pain to alter, for instance when the weather changes and he is wearing more/less clothes. I also leave a blanket over it in hot weather as the vinyl backing and the clips can get hot, but he remains safe which is the main thing.

kyz1981 · 25/07/2013 07:23

pixel We cant sit him in the middle at the moment as the seat only has a lap belt, but we are looking at getting a new car that has 3 full seat belts in the back and that is exactly what we plan to do- for one thing he costs me to much money in shoes. Before I had my DS I always used to wonder how someone could loose one shoe in the middle of the rd - now we know, The worst thing he's ever thrown out was his sisters DS. needless to say she doesn't leave anything near him now.

I am going to try one of those harness things I am looking to get him the next stage car seat and will speak to his OT today to see if we can trial it.

MumuDelulu May well try that if we need a long journey.

Original poster

AngP2585 · 25/07/2013 12:19

KYZ1981
I have exactly the same problem with my 3 year old son, he throws stuff out the car window when he pulls his straps off this shoulder. He throws his shoes out and anything else he can see. Unfortunately his car seat is not suitable to put in the middle. Car journeys are a nightmare! It is so stressful when they do these things. As if it was not hard enough getting them in the car seat!

Thanks everyone for all your suggestions I will try all these out, thank you very much!

OP posts:

TimidLivid · 25/07/2013 15:41

my ds has started trying this throwing things out in my dads car thankfully its a seven seater and the back has sealed windows that only open an inch. I also have the problem of my 3 year jumping about like a loon at bedtime running and jumping on me and his sister and hitting us, he needs a sponge room, unfortunately sponge rooms dont exist

Trigglesx · 25/07/2013 18:50

I tell you what - the car manufacturer that makes a car window handle that can pop on and off at will (by the parents) will be wealthy.

Original poster

AngP2585 · 26/07/2013 12:12

I have now resorted to taking the handle off the back window I got my dad to take it off with a screwdriver it was the last resort. I could not cope with the stress of him opening the window when I was driving!

Just need to master the sitting in the car seat issue. I have been trying to restrain him but taking a beating in the process!!!!

OP posts:

TimidLivid · 26/07/2013 18:25

I am eating my words I don't know how it still works in the car seat but my ds who is 3 has been slipping over of his reins over buggy straps three times today so that he still has reins on and still is reined to the buggy straps but suddenly he is standing beside the mountain buggy looing at me but attached to it, wee monkey

Pixel · 26/07/2013 21:47

Ds has a new game now that he discovered yesterday - hanging his arms out of the window as we are going along. Might be taking the window handle off myself before too long!

MaccaPacca123 · 26/07/2013 23:08

Not just us then

BlackeyedSusan · 26/07/2013 23:30

I used to tickle ds in the joint of his legs whilst strong arming him in. he then collapsed and i fastened the car seat and reigns overr the top. (as timid said ^) I did have to use a little pressure over his pelvis to hold him down while he was strapped in.

also sometimes just holding him down in the carr seat for a few minutes wa s enough for him to stop wriggling enough fo me to fasten the straps.

he also had a choice about getting into the car seat. either he got in it or i put him in it.

note this is past tense. he is 5 now and we have not had much troubel for a while. (but just wait til tomorow as i will have jinxed it)

i do not have a problem with the window. my car has a button at thhe frornt that locks all the passenger windows. i am sure the designer had children like ours!

Pixel · 27/07/2013 18:22

You get phases though. We've had screaming blue murder the entire time he was in the car seat (on one memorable occasion all the way from Somerset to Chichester), having to be forcibly bent into the car seat, refusing to get out of the car (surprisingly difficult this one, it's impossible to drag them if they don't want to go), throwing things out of windows, escaping from straps etc etc. He doesn't generally do more than one thing at a time. The worst one was reaching up and putting his hands in the hinge of the tailgate when I had the hatchback open. I was absolutely terrified of cutting his fingers off by accident.

TimidLivid · 10/08/2013 22:39

I will be trying to get a crelling harness ds has realised if he slips the actual car seat and buggy stroller straps down even though reins are still over them and then does a forward roll he ends up either able to stand beside buggy but stuck to it from reins chest area so I have to free him or it looks bad and I cannot move or he ends up upside down with legs strapped in which looks terrible and I have to free him.
So I leaving a few inches of leeway to move a bit sewed the reins to the mountain buggy from behind his back to back of buggy fabric and to sides of buggy there is space to move. And now cannot get out of buggy by forward rolling but can wriggle his legs so his torso is out of crotch and top of legs bit or stuck and sore looking a bad angles. But I can fix that by undoing and sorting it so is escape proof. However car seat if now no good as legs were stuck all the way home and worry about not give at all in car seat and fabric is removable so can't sew a reins to car seat will just have to stop and adjust him as soon as he is nearly out. He is doing things ds1 never thought of. We have an hour and a half car journey next week may take the train as pushchair not as scary as car seat. Its also come at same time as shoes refusal and jacket refusal potty refusal.

etubrute · 10/08/2013 23:02

I do not know the ins and outs but is he interested in the buttons and switches??, is there any type of toy(?) with lots of buttons/switches he can play with when in the car? Sorry never had this issue with my kiddies but does sound like my DN ADHD when rarely in a car (Dsister doesn't drive) it's a bit like the case of "don't push that button" seems to make him want to do it more.

etubrute · 10/08/2013 23:04

Ok just read all the other posts...sorry, I wasn't very helpful

TimidLivid · 11/08/2013 04:24

Hi it is a good idea as he wants to pretend to drive the car and tries to sit at front so maybe a toy steering wheel thing would keep him busy for a bit . Sometimes distraction does help :)

jocook · 11/08/2013 07:32

Could you not have him in the front? I dont have the issues with escape you have mentioned but my dd would stim terribly in the back of the car. Moved her into the front so shes next to me and can see whats going on and she hardly does it now! Had a few issues at start with her pushing buttons (nothing important..just heater etc) but I was just zero tollerence with her 'dont touch and sit in front like a big girl or go back to car seat in back like a baby'.
maybe if he wants to drive you could get him his own wheel and he could copy what you do??

ouryve · 11/08/2013 14:39

Well, we've just given up on the crelling harness and chest strap, we we're sick of DS2 wriggling straight out of them (he's very squidgy and bendy) and ordered the expensive Britax seat for him. The seats in our new car are much flatter than our old one, so should be a lot more suitable - it wouldn't sit stably in the old car. He couldn't escape the juniour traveller, though, so hopefully the traveller plus will keep him safely restrained.

When we were buying the new (to us) car, we double checked that the switches for the rear windows could be isolated from the driver's window, since DS1 is still into opening windows as wide as he can at the first opportunity!

Pixel · 11/08/2013 17:31

I tried ds in the front. It wasn't a success! He couldn't reach to push any buttons but constantly kicked the car out of gear and the more cross I got the more he giggled. Obviously it was very unsafe to drive under those circumstances so after a few tries I had to give up.

kyz1981 · 11/08/2013 21:35

Ouryve Let me know how you get on with the seat - we are almost at our wits end now and will probably order it in the next few weeks if nothing improves.

ouryve · 11/08/2013 23:57

We are collecting on Friday, o will report back. If it contains ds2 , then allis good!

TimidLivid · 12/08/2013 00:21

I am thinking maybe I need to go out less and try to shop online and jus go ds2 friendly places only for a bit with him walking on reins as the straining and suffering he is starting with to get out is horrible even though he was trapped in mountain buggy with buggy straps, sewed on reins and another reins, he was so not happy . and when I used one less rein he still forward rolled out. I had some success today in a different area he finally sat on his potty and used it. I guess I can go round the shops when he is in nursery if nursery works out

TimidLivid · 14/08/2013 00:46

today the mountain buggy was on the bus with ds in it and the brakes on and my 3 rein system to keep him safe and stop him escaping, the bus went round a corner at moderate speed at that moment ds must have leaned sideways and the whole buggy tipped and ds hit the pole on the disabled side of the bus with his forehead getting the full force of the weight of the buggy the impact. we went to a and e as bus driver called an ambulance. Ds is fine. later he leaned out again despite the reins to touch something and it very nearly happened again but I was holding onto the pushchair. I think it is as it has only 3 wheels.
Would the maclaren major be less likely to be tippy if ds is having a violent meltdown/reaching out or straining to get out. if anything it looks worse. I am going to use our 4 wheel maclaren quest until I can find something better. Anyone know of anything as good as I thought the mountain buggy urban was going to be?

Pixel · 14/08/2013 20:37

I found Major can still be quite tippy tbh, but not sideways so probably would be more stable on the bus than a three-wheeler. I always had to remember to park ds so he couldn't get his feet up against anything to push it over backwards though, and once I just managed to grab him before he hit a tree at speed because he'd bounced about on a slope and the brakes came off (brakes aren't brilliant). You have to hang on to it on the bus because you can't lock the front wheels so it spins round, which was always something I moaned about!
Makes it sound like I didn't like it, but actually I did (which is why I squeezed ds into it as long as I possibly could ), you just have to know it has limitations when you have very determined dc! After the tree incident I always had a hand on it just in case, and on the bus generally wedged the front wheel with my foot.

ouryve · 14/08/2013 21:51

DS2 never managed to tip his Mac major over sideways, despite his best efforts. I always found 3 wheelers a real pain for tipping sideways - even getting them up and down kerbs that were rounded was a pain.

Flip

1 2 3