How low can you go?

[18carrotgold]

Has anyone else ever been asked to apologise for their child's disability?
School have complained (to tribunal) that I have never apologised for distress caused to their staff by my ds's actions. These are disability related behaviours made worse due to his needs not being met. School have admitted not meeting needs.
What response should I give?

Yes Goose, it is shocking - a lot has been said to discredit me too. They are perhaps showing their true colours now. The only good thing is that it doesn't show them in a very good light to the court I guess.

One of the reasons Ds's primary school gave for excluding him was the distress caused to staff by his behaviours. Again these were disability related and in this case they didn't actually directly impact on staff or other pupils or disrupt classes. However HT was unhappy about other children witnessing them and the distress they caused her staff.

We were not however expected to apologise for them. I think that really is an all time low. Hope the tribunal gives it short shrift.

I think we said something along the lines of that as professionals they ought to be able to deal with their own distress and focus on the child who was also very distressed.

It's all in writing along with other nasty,unsubstantiated comments. What's worse is that this school is highly rated for being so 'inclusive'
They were always very careful with what they put in the minutes but seem to have now let their guard down and gone on a rant.

Yes it is a low.

Be careful not to get into an argument about who should apologise to who.

Just be clear and broken record. DS' behaviours are caused by his needs not being met. Neither apologise or refuse to. This has nothing to do with his needs, his statement, outcomes or well, anything. Refuse to be drawn into a discussion about this. It will make them look stupid if they bring it up on the day.

You could certainly say, on the day, if pushed. I am indeed very sorry that he has been failed so much that his behaviour has deteriorated. That is why we are here isn't it?

Tempting to ask whether they would demand that the parents of a child in a wheelchair apologise for the child's rudeness in sitting around all day.