LOL - carrots - TES SN Show

[StarlightMcKenzie]

www.tessenshow.co.uk/

Scroll down to the bottom and see a pic of a bunch of stereotypical carrots.

This thread has made me laugh out loud!

I think you should get together and write the SEN Provision Poetry Book. It'd definitely go straight to the top of my book list.

Alternatively, you could get together and release a single!

Im getting a little carried away and I haven't even had a drink!

Ds is safe. They are still insisting on being involved. However they do not have a leg to stand on. They are still refusing to give me copies of any assessments or explain their procedures to me, because they don't exist or haven't been followed. Doesn't stop me replying to emails of 'can I pop in briefly' with 'yes that fine, can you please bring a copy of IA assessment, core assessment, CIN plan along with you'

New SW is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, but tolerable. I am still attending CIN meetings, without anyone having a CIN plan and minutes are headed TAC, not CIN!

Is he attending school much?

I should be cleaning the back yard for a BBQ
Instead I wrote this :

Its the time of year, now the budget?s running out
When the S-E-N team, show what they?re all about
Cut everything and give parents some old flannel
If you get in trouble, just blame it on the Panel

From the coast of Holland
To the shores of Timbuktu
No matter where you hide
The caring carrot will find you

Hold a leaflet in the air
Put a clipboard on your knee
Stack the room with mates
To nod along polite-l-y

Call them ?Mum? alot
And pretend you give a damn
Make up some utter bollocks, and
call it a ?personalised plan?

Claw I love yours

He had his transition period, 2 half days for 4 weeks, then 2 full days last week, with home tutor attending with him. Full time in Sept without home tutor. Went quite well. Ds still not able to eat in school or use the toilet. Had a few meltdowns. Ds doesn't like the home tutor and has said he doesn't want her attending, although he found a familiar face helpful to start with. So its worked out ok.

Meeting next week 'CIN' at school, with CAMHS who havent seen ds since Jan, SW who has met him once, home tutor who will be providing nothing from now on and school to discuss what help he will need for September.

School seem on the ball and have already sent home referral form to the indi SALT they use, despite statement not specifying SALT involvement. So looking very hopeful.

So a room full of caring carrots who are providing nothing and hopefully a very helpful school.

The SN anthem will be going through my head during the meeting now

Ahhhh, good luck. So not out of the woods yet but the clearing is in sight......

Agnes, Love it. Paints such an accurate picture.

It's the SMILING that does me in. Don't smile at me whilst you lie you fucking witch

Or you could say the Lords Prayer:

Our LA, the Armagedon,
Shallow be thy name,
Thy meeting come
But nowt will be done
Except CPD
In Devon

Give us this day
Our daily stress
And give us our PECSeses
As we lose the TAs under mountains of laminate
And lead us to low expecations
and deliver us from hope.

For thine is the Education Kingdom
The power and it?s gory
failing my son
Again.

Lol brilliant Agnes and Star!

Im just sat here waiting for the paddling pool to empty, so I can fill it again, laughing at my laptop screen, ds is sitting next to me, eating pringles, playing pokemon and giving me strange looks for laughing!

Quote of the week me to SW at last CIN meeting "can you clarify your involvement" SW "I don't know why im involved" if only face palming was allowed!

ROFL ive just seen Star's comment 'SMELLS like a TAC'

Thank you this had made me laugh today! . And prompted me to finish off two emails to one of my caring carrots! ( separate emails for each DS - don't want them getting too confused!) :)

Star I might have to print that out and laminate it

Nothing to add but love the songs and prayer.

I went to a TAC the other day and I swear there were several of those ladies in the room

This thread has made my day!

I will sitting through my TAC/CIN meeting next week with this going round my head, trying not to smirk, I wont be able to look at the caring carrots again!

Fantastic everyone.

Don't a bunch of caring carrots make a carrot stew?

Ha ha, I am loving the poems!
Reminds me of an excellent quote a caring carrot said once ' I think you think we are more Machiavellian than we actually are!'

Fab Agnes and Star and great to see Claw on top form again!! Claw you sound much brighter.

This really cheered me up today as I had to watch the LGO deadline tick round without having the time to put in submissions. Solicitor emailed twice and they just ignored her. On top of that an LA response to a complaint saying DS had no OT for a year consisted of 'an OT turned up for the AR in 2012'. That's it - with a leaflet about the LGO! What are we doing to kids in this country? They know this is a mindfuck,

So its great to laugh about caring carrot crap like 'he's got to understand learning comes from schools'. I say 'I disagree, why do you say that'.Answer 'I don't know'

Or 'we need to be working towards formal education, in a school'. I say 'why?' Answer 'I don't know'

It's the inane smile and the head tilt that does my head in!

I seriously want to hand out neck braces at the next meeting I attend as the "head tilt" makes me think the programming on the Stepford style robots I deal with needs a decent system tester asap.

Did a short course this week, which gave me a chance to practice my head tilt hee hee. I fully intend to use it at my meeting next week, just to see how they react now I can do it effectively too. Having quite mastered the "I hear what you are saying" phrase in quite the right tone tho

Never mind the carrot stew - feed them to your neighborhood donkey & have done.

You went on a course to perfect the head tilt?

I've often wondered what it would be like to tilt my head at the same time in a mirroring way, and whether I should tilt it the same way, or the opposite way to make theirs more pronounced.

Or perhaps just tip it right back and stick my chin out.

I like 'I hear what you're saying', as a precursor to following up with clarifying that they said what I wanted them to say and a dare for them to disagree so:

'I hear what you are saying. You are saying that there are children far more severe than mine with much less provision so you are going to have to recruit more staff urgently. I hope it goes well.'

Please somebody tell me where this carrot thing came from. I feel like an uninitiated kid in the playground. I am very very new to this world, but I can relate to some of the things, particularly being called 'Mum'.

Over to star for an explanation ....

iirc (and I may not), a professional made a suggestion that one mother should consider giving her child carrot battons to help with the issues relating to the disability.

This became known as 'caring carrotology' i.e. patronising nonsense from someone that felt they had to offer something but didn't really know what to do. The fact that the child in question regularly ate carrots in 'non-batton' form appeared to mean nothing.

And then, one MNer went to a conference about evidence-based practice and got her picture taken with the keynote speaker and <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ikea.com/gb/en/images/products/torva-soft-toy__0118209_PE273774_S4.JPG&imgrefurl=www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/60195740/&h=500&w=500&sz=21&tbnid=pi4K4uutWmYcBM:&tbnh=92&tbnw=92&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dikea%2Bcarrot%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=ikea+carrot&usg=__hPouQfV4LVtkLXx_tkabXrCdnlY=&docid=0IsxIH8gQH_f9M&sa=X&ei=eqnpUeW8HcLZPPf4gfgK&sqi=2&ved=0CC8Q9QEwAA&dur=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

I love to hate the caring carrots it's been a long day but star, claw and all you wonderful posters have made me smile x

ahaha. carrot battons!