Feel im being judged as a bad mum

[Crawling]

I have three dc one is being investigated for as one has autism and my youngest has a speech delay is awaiting therapy.

The problem is any developmental delays they have as a result of these issues I feel are being judged as my fault. People questioning every aspect of my parenting and how it effects my dc is really bringing me down. I nearly had to be admitted for poor mental health recently and while this wasn't the cause it certainly contributed. That mixed with the constant dissaproving looks and the battle at school.

Help me.

I should also add I feel I am judged as a mentally ill mum in addition and the fact that I was a teen mum.

Hello I have been wondering how you've been your a brilliant parent .To deal with everything is so hard ,also people shouldn't judge parenting on what age you've had your children

Thanks autumnsmum and its very nice to know you've been thinking of me. Sadly I've been to ill to post but I'm getting better and ready to battle again how are things with you?

I know exactly how you feel. Its like its all your fault. Professionals can be so blunt with their questions. And when someone finally listens and agrees with you that your child has a problem then you feel so bad, that you've just let yourself down. Its a very difficult time so look after yourself and be good to yourself.
Everyone here knows its not your fault

I'm sure you are a great mum. If you've been ill yourself and still had the energy left to deal with and worry about the kids you sound a amazing mum

Thanks jogalong its exactly like you describe.
2boys thank you it means a lot to hear people say that.

of course it is "your fault", it always is, even when it is the school that have upset the child or a genetic condition or a disability or any other thing out of your control. it is the defaault option.

oh fuck. carrots. knew i was going wrong somewhere. bastard carrots.

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Hi I'm not to bad thanks dd2 is going to ss in sept . It is true none of this is your fault

Thanks all blackeyedsusan that carrot made me smile.

As a mother you will always get blamed. Disorder or no disorder. Teenager or no teenager.

Sadly in my case, it's been a few years since I was a teenager. But DS's ASD was blamed on (1) me trying to raise him bilingual, (2) being too soft on him, (3) letting him get into my bed at night (he wakes up and screams at nights) - the list can go on and on. I also hate it when people tell me there is 'nothing wrong' with DC because (1) he's looked into this particular person's eyes for like 5 seconds, (2) smiles - and as we 'all know' autistic children don't smile, (3) doesn't look anything like this other autistic child they know - again, the list is endless.

Yes, I have developed a very thick skin.

Can't really add to what others have said.
It really hurts when others question your parenting as recently happened to me.
Just sending my sympathy and hoping that you have good support for your own mental health problems.

Thanks all you have made me feel loads better. It's been one of the hardest bits for me and I really hope I get a thicker skin.