So fed up with so-called professionals who not only don't help but create extra stress and work

[Summerhasloaded]

I have a tribunal hearing for ds in November, and in the last few months, have spent so much time trying to refute all the rubbish from the caring carrots who not only don't support, but positively hinder.

They belittle ds' needs, come up with new dx at meetings which have never been discussed before, make misleading statements, which all have to be followed up and refuted.

Aaaaarrghhhh!

I m heading towards that stage. Hang in there....look at your kid and feel the love....that is what will keep you going.

Thanks zumbaleena.

The problem is, I know this is only the beginning as I've been through this with another child. I fully expect an urgent social services assessment, attempts to alter dx, personal accusations of poor parenting, etc, just before the hearing.

I feel like discharging ds from all these "services", but will be accused of disengagement.

Just keep going and keep smiling. I had all the caring carrots and then once I decided I was going to tribunal and meant business then it all changed to bullying and comments about my parenting etc. we won the tribunal and since then have just been ignored and left alone.mits a horrible game playing process which people forget that we are dealing with a child. On a positive, my child is now in the rit setting and is happy so going through the 'process' although painful at the time was worth it in the end

Thanks everyone, just going through a bit of a wobble.

summer, I don't know if you're religious, but in my darkest moments I fantasise about these professionals ending up in a very personalised version of Purgatory.

For them, Purgatory is a place where it takes a very, very long time for SEN officers and the like to be cleansed of sin. A place where St Peter holds endless meetings with smirking cherubim and seraphim who talk in an arcane language that the sinning professionals can't quite understand. St P keeps forgetting to bring the right paperwork, and can't ever lay his hands on an accurate version of the minutes of the last case review. His deputies come up with sins that the professionals haven't actually committed, and then - in the next meeting - deny ever having done so. The only food on offer is carrot. Mounds and mounds of steaming, glistening, never-ending caring carrot. They'll eat carrot. They'll sleep carrot. And, by God, they'll shit carrot.

It's a place where after a few months, the errant professionals eventually lose all hope of salvation, come to reflect on the sins they have committed in their working lives, and eventually understand why the fuck it is their lives on earth were so wasted.

Oh ugger, you should write a book.

Summer, I totally understand and I don't know what the answer is. I feel like running away from it as there is never any peace. They fail him again and again and lie about it. The last set of lies cost us £1000 in OT costs. That is a holiday to us.

I'm sick of not finding time for my work, of constantly having to fight because they make you fight for everything and of DS being failed even when I am fighting. It's the only reason I can't stop.

ugger, that made me laugh

Oh ugger you do have a way with words!

IE is is possible to quote all that on your blog?

I know how you feel, a year ago my lad was making progress at an exponential rate, now things are so derailed that it's hard to retain hope some days. The latest set of lies are costing us our HOME - how that is in any sense to be seen as helping the poor child is beyond me.

Happy to out in blog if ugger agrees?!

I wonder if there's a budding cartoonist amongst us that could create visuals of Ugger's brilliant fantasy

That would be good!

Sure, go ahead. But more seriously, bjkmummy's approach is where it's at. It's the parents with stamina they fear most.

But my LA will never leave us alone! We are heading for three Tribunals in three years and they fight everything every step of the way irrespective of who is agreeing with them - and that is no one.

for Summer. I share your I had another one of them this week with DS1 and afterwards I've had trouble sleeping as all I can think about is all the others who've pulled this - for us, it's like they see or hear one thing about him or our lifestyle and they act like that must be thee answer rather than looking at him as a whole person. I've been trying to get proper advice since before he was 2 and he's almost 9 and, just like you've all said, it's a nightmare of belittlement, leading questions, blaming, and hoop after hoop.

So many faux-proclamation of thee problem - think the worst I've had is someone blamed it all on me having an American accent (and the guy this week asked what I thought about it as if it was actually a possibility!)

I think we all need some chocolate. Big bars to hit them over the head with then we eat (though now I have the image of cherubs doing it with carrots which is far more amusing).