i cant deal with my ds anymore

[OMGGG]

i feel awful as i can no longer tolerate my ds at bedtimes he simply doesnt sleep maybe one night a week he may settle by 10 if i am lucky.
it gets to the point where i dont even see the point in wasting energy trying anymore. whats the point he only asks for drinks, food, questions, gets up, sits on toliet anything but sleep. i end up staying up all nigjt waiting for him to drop off. how on earth does he do it he is kot even tired. ive just tried to go to bed with him h
in his room and he starts with the drink thing which i get for the hundrerh time coz its hot but then he starts talkimg and explaining things to me and he will kot stop for love nor money. i feel terrible because i shouted at him and told him to shut up. im just at my wits end. i cant do anything of an evening because he is constant. i have given up and told him to get just do what the hell he likes as clearly he doesnt go to sleep so i hope he enjoys his evening on his own bevause i going to bed. im awful arnt i. :-(

i wouldnt leave him up on hos own by the way but im so sick
of it. even when i am being really firm with him he doesnt get it he just starts talkiing about something else. he cuts into what im saying and just starts saying something totally irrelvant. he thinks its quite funny and then he looks confused and says i dont love him. he throws things at me when he is really stressed. this has gone on all night sonce he left school sometimes it starts after school sometimes at bedtime. i think he has had a bad day at school today maybe and this is the comupance.
and to think it will all start again in the morning...arghhh
im just feeling sorry for myself arnt i i know there is a lot worse than this in life. i love him so much but i want a life!

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture! Its terrible isn't it.

I do 'bedtime' snack every night, BEFORE bed. This includes drink and crisps. Any requests for drink or food after that are ignored.

Starting bedtime too early is pointless, it just means I spend more hours trying to get him to sleep!

Ds goes to bed at 9.30, with Melatonin. Even with Melatonin, some nights it just doesn't work.

If I go to bed with him, he does similar, talks and talks at me. As part of his bedtime, we do half an hour talking, where me and him sit on the bed and he can talk and talk to me about whatever he wants. If he tries to talk to me after this, I remind him its time for sleep and he can tell me either in the morning or during our bedtime chat time and ignore him.

Im probably not the best person to advise on sleeping, as im still struggling to get ds to sleep in his own bed!

thanks claw i was at a low last night. ds finally asleep by 11:45. we had a nice cuddle on the chair. i may try the talking time after story - thx

It is awful and you get no break away from them do you. My ds used to do this.
I also do 9pm bedtime with melatonin - after 4yrs of trying everything I had enough!

does the melatonin work? how does it work? im scared to do that? maybe i will if this carries on and on. ds has never settled well though from birth. thanks guys x

Melatonin isn't a drug as such, its a natural hormone that the brain releases to make you feel tired. It has no or very few side affects.

Apparently its common for children with ASD to lack this hormone.

Ds has never slept either. When anxious some nights he wouldn't sleep until 6am in the morning. Usually with Melatonin ds is asleep within an hour.

I do not use Melatonin constantly. I use it to help reset ds's body clock, when we have a pattern of anxiety - no sleep and establish routine again.

They say it isn't addictive, like other sleeping drugs. However I still use it as a last resort and only when really needed.

ok thanks for info. might be worth exploring. DS def lacks melatonin naturally.

Hi, I have just seen your message and feel the need to write.. First time ever!! Your message really struck a cord with me as bedtimes were so difficult and time consuming for my aspie son. Melatonin is amazing... It helps him switch off and fall asleep so much quicker and saves him hours of anxiety at bedtime. Also he sleeps with a fan on every night as he gets so sweaty and hot. Even in winter. I also let him put his radio on as it relaxes him and drowns out the everyday living sounds which would keep him awake. Sometimes it's classical sometimes gold.. Up to him and his mood, it works. Good luck and hope you're ok

Another vote for melatonin. Total sanity-saver!

Please use melatonin. We were at the end of our tether before using it. Ds has been using it for about five years and is still thriving. It allows us to carry on basically. When ds doesn't sleep the whole thing is unbearable.

My DS (ADHD/ASD) has been using melatonin for a year now and its a godsend! Totally understand where you are coming from, its tiring for us too, just because we wouldnt normally be asleep at that time that they are awake they are still interacting with us and asking questions/talking/coming out of rooms etc. I often got cross with my little lad until I realised that he just couldnt help it.
It is hard but a routine for bed is needed! We regularly do teeth, wash, toilet, medication, story and cuddles/chats ... this all takes about half an hour to so and once Ive shut the door he should not come out of the room. On a Sunday night (before school) its bath, wash etc, story and cuddles on mummy's bed and then another story in his bed. He also falls asleep with his music on (classical stuff) as it does drown out any outside noise. We also give him the option of having a book to read if he chooses to do so after we have left the room but he is not to leave the room! He begins to lose things (such as telly time or story time etc) if he does leave his room.
There is nothing you can do (apart from the medication of course but that isnt a cert every single night) to make him fall asleep but what you can do is explain that when he goes to bed at night, its grown up time, your time not his ... and be strong!

My ds1 doesn't seem to need sleep either. He's 5 and his normal bedtime is now 9pm. Yesterday he was up for the day at 3.15am, fell asleep in the car at 4 until 5, didn't even wake with me, I'm ashamed to say, screaming at him. He was then up until 9 again. He woke up this morning at 6 which is a lie in for him.

I am at the end of my tether with it too but his paed said that medication would have side effects like a hangover couples with hyperactivity...

I would have lost my sanity ages ago if it weren't for melatonin. DS1 (7yo) takes liquid melatonin every evening about an hour or so before he goes to bed. Believe me, the 2 nights over the last year and a half that I've forgotten to give it to him, I've realised it REALLY quick, as he was all over the place (back to previous behaviour at night before he had the melatonin prescription) and wouldn't sleep for hours. He would literally be up most of the night without it.

He's still up a few times during the night, but that's just him. And he's up at 5am. But he goes to bed at 8pm. I agree with the poster that said "it's a godsend." I honestly couldn't cope without it.

I take melatonin myself and wake totally refreshed, no "hangover" as with sleeping pills

I'm meeting ds1's special needs health visitor for the first time on Monday so will mention it to her. It's affecting my work and my relationship with dh.

I'm very sorry to hijack your thread op but the people in the mnsn board are sanity savers and I'm learning more from them and these threads than anywhere else.

Do you have a pet OMGGG? My DS (ASD) started to get to sleep easier after I got him a cat and let it sleep on his bed on an evening. I also make him a hot water bottle as he responds well to the warmth (like me ). Like the other posters said his bedtime is later than 'normal' but meh whatever works best.