Chocolates - Your very last sentence has rung massive massive alarm bells with me The comment about her needing to show her abilities in the 'right' way did not come from the LS person btw but the Head.
An indie school lives and dies by its head. The head is an incredibly powerful person in an indie school ? probably more powerful than a head in a state school. A state school?s head is answerable to the governors and the LA. An indie is answerable only to the governors (or if it's independently owned, by the owner) and they will give their head a totally free reign.
The head is telling you that the ?right way? is his/her way and anything else simply won?t do.
If you have been following my story, you will know that my son was in a leading Ofsted outstanding indie school for 4 years. They have a very glossy brochure about their learning support unit but the reality was very different. All children had to fit a certain ?way? and any pupil (SEN and NT child alike) that couldn?t fit, the school are unable to support.
We lurched from term to term for 4 years ? putting in support ? realising the support wasn?t working, adding more support, trying different techniques. 18 months ago it resulted in the most depressing meeting I have ever had. The head of year, the SENCo, class teacher, LSA and others and I all sat in a meeting and they were literally scratching their heads in despair saying to me ?we don?t know what to do?. The only option I had was to go to the LA and request Statutory Assessment. Three months later, on the very day I had received confirmation that the LA had refused to Statutory Assess, we all sat in another meeting, again all scratching our heads, not knowing what to do. They couldn?t tell me what to do, and I certainly didn?t know what to do.
Days later, it took a conversation with a leading educational solicitor (who I ended up instructing) for her to point out to me that my son was suffering very very high levels of anxiety and was extremely unhappy. She was the only person in all of this mess who had cut through all the crap and pointed out to me in no uncertain times that I ?had a very unhappy little boy?. No one else had realised this (myself included). The school was so concerned in trying to shoe-horn him into ?their way? that they hadn?t spotted it. I was so concerned in keeping him in this school, that although I had spotted it, I hadn?t acted on it. Days after the conversation with the lawyer, I finally took control of this terrible situation and withdrew him from the school to home ed him and have been for the last year. I am hopeful to get him back into school this September. But the legacy of this situation at this school has left him with extreme literacy-related anxiety.
My son?s severest problems are dyslexia. I know of other parents who have withdrawn their HFA, AS, ASD, GDD children from this school and placed them in other indie schools. Some indie schools are fantastic with SEN children. Others do more harm than good. Mine did more harm than good - perhaps yours is the same?
You say your DD doesn?t need a Statement. How do you know that? I was told DS didn?t need one ? but he did. I would suggest that you stop listening to the school, and your first steps are to get an educational psychologist report. The indie school won?t have access to state ones, so go get one from an independent. Do not delay any longer. Without an EP report, you simply do not know what your DD?s needs are.