Had school senco meeting and got a shock

[Ulysees]

My youngest ds is 5 and in reception. Since pre school he's had to see a paeditrician, SALT and senco worker. His progress seemed good and his teacher hasn't given me any cause for concern.
However, today I went to meet with his teacher and senco worker and she is rather worried. She says he'll struggle in yr 1 as the set up is so different and she's worried the teachers questions will go over his head. She said he has improved socially and is a bright boy, but the way she speaks he doesn't sound it?? He's in the low group. His understanding is below average, I know but to suddenly hear all this negativity today was quite upsetting. I often ask her how he's doing and she says fine and he's no problem. I don't know why something wasn't said sooner?

I wish there was something I could do to help him but I don't know how? If there were books I could get or programmes for the computer? I know I can't cure him but would love to support him more. My eldest is very bright. I'm worried I've been a bit lazy in not helping ds2 as ds1 learnt so easily? He craved knowledge. DS2 is much more practical and physical.

by the way when I said she's worried I mean the teacher, not senco. He just wrote everything down and discussed ds2,didn't suggest anything.

I've got to do the school run in a minute so I'll type more then.

My ds2 had very delayed speech and now, although he says a lot, he is very difficult to understand. He starts school in September and I am worried, although it is a very friendly, supportive school. But like your ds, he is more practical and very confident physically. I think the main thing is that you recognise his strengths and encourage and support him.

Do you find that you feel left out? As if "experts" don't quite think it's worth talking much to "mere parents" ? I do!

Don't know much about it but this seems crazy telling you in the 11th hour. I don't suppose they offered a solution. I think you should ask for another meeting and having done as much research as you can ask for help in finding a solution. I'm sure people here will have something to say.

DS has real trouble writing but teacher doesn't really offer any solutions.

definately tt, i took a friend of mine to the last meeting i had with school - she is a special needs professional and knew more than the senco and the teacher. she was appalled at the way they tried to talk over my head, using loads of abbreviations and no explanations. she picked them up on it every time and the one hour meeting turned into three hours. school has been pretty frosty with me since then lol

ulysees, every child is different. ds2 is an august baby and also more physical than ds1 (who is also very bright) so i thought he may struggle in reception, but i was told he could spend time in the nursery if necessary to help him settle in. he just clicked after xmas, no idea why, it was nothing me or the teacher did. it just might happen that way for your ds. if not, is there any chance he could spend time in reception (like the time they do the actual work) and time in yr1 (like when they do the more fun stuff he wont struggle with). tbh i think 'he'll struggle in yr 1' is a very unhelpful phrase, if he isnt ready for it the school should be doing something to help him, its not up to you to get him up to speed. ask the senco what strategies they plan to put in place to make sure he doesnt struggle. if the teachers questions go over his head then they ought to make sure there is an adult available to help him understand. dont feel you or ds are doing anything wrong, it is the school who should be putting extra effort in to include him

Have you thought about looking at BIBIC? You don't need a dx or severe problems, in fact your son seems at a similar level to Sam, and he goes.

www.bibic.org.uk

If they think he may struggle then they should be discussing with you what they intend to do about it. They may need to look at whether he will need more support in the classroom, a statement (if he doesn't already have one), time in Reception etc.

Thanks for the replies. I feel a bit better now,I was beginning to feel as if I could've been doing more but that's us parents all over ....guilt!

The teacher did mention he needs some support in the classroom now. I was just surprised it's only mentioned now, that's my main irk if you like. It was a bit of a bombshell.

His teacher was unwell today and is off sick as from this afternoon so I was wondering if that'd affected her mood as she wasn't herself but that would be very unprofessional and she is nice usually? A friend of mine works in the class next to him as a teaching assistant so I'm going to ask her if she's noticed anything or can advise me.

I haven't heard of bibic but I'll look into it thanks, peachyclair

there's quite a lot of people on here use BIBIC- Dingle and sleepyjess, to name but two. They do a two day assessment (if you can afford you pay, but they help with fundraising and they never turn a child away for financial reasons)- after the assessment, which focuses on what your child can do rather than any dx (you see perhaps salt, nutritionist etc), they give you a program to carry out once a day, then you go back after six months and assess- and repeat.

not only do we find the program good, they really support us in lots of ways and even went to the school. If you're not local, you can stay at the Somerset one very cheaply.

I have known BIBIC all my life as I grew up near their base, and can only say how good they are.

cheers peachyclair. I live in the north east. I'll contact them though to see if they can help in any way.

They cater for people from all over the world, so should be able to.

Ulysees - Cbeebies on the computer is great for children, my son Dominic has SN and is in reception, I let him play on the cbeebies website as it has a lot of games that help children with their learning without them realising it. Dominic has the use of just one hand and is not really able to do any writing or colouring with his left hand, but he can manage the computer one handed fine. I know what you mean about never being given any cause for alarm, I always being told that Dominic is fine, he's doing fine, but in truth I know he's not, he's more immature than the others, not too keen on mixing, not potty trained, has trouble remembering things, but according to the school he is FINE ! (getting bit fed up with that word). But I think a look on the bright side is that they've said this before he's gone into year one rather than let him flounder in year one before doing anything. My meeting with the Senco for our annual review is July, which I think is too late to do anything. But I think you will have to let people know how worried you are and ask them what they intend to do, perhaps write them a letter - I take it he has been statemented, if not that could get him extra help in the class room. There is an inclusion website which might help, but i don't remember the web address. Hope I been a bit helpful.

Thanks mumball DS2 hasn't been statemented. He does like the cbbeebies sites and also goes on nick jr. I bought him some tizzy cd roms that they used in his pre school and he manages them fine. I bought the key stage mag yesterday and he managed the first little quiz which was to find pictures and put the first letter under the number of missing letters in 2 words. He did it fine and managed to read that the final words were world cup (with a little help) I find he can do things like this ok.

I'll have word with the teacher when she gets back from sick leave. She's off sick an awful lot and has been for years.

This sounds similar to my worries for dd2 , she is very physical.Although she has a very good memory for her own interests, she has problems with speech, hearing? and comprehension.She starts school in Sept and is known as she attends the nursery but doesn't have enough probs to be statemented.

Glad to find somewhere to voice my worries too - ds is 4 and getting help at nursery after an assessment in Sept diagnosed him as 12 - 18 months 'delayed' (whatever that means). He starts school in September and isn't out of nappies. He's clearly a lot more immature than his peers but is cheerful and popular - the nursery are WONDERFUL and he has 2.5 hours one2one every day as well as SALT and CDC sessions. However I can't help feeling gutted that he'll struggle with school - still haven't come to terms with it all I suppose. And then you wonder if it's something you've done or not... A big worry is his suggestability which some of the children at nursery have discovered - if they tell him to do something he will - he bit a child at another's behest a month ago :(

Teatime,

In your situation I would write to the LEA in question asap asking for your son to be assessed with a view to getting him a Statement. These things do take time to set up - six months is an average length of time.

I'd be very surprised if the level of support he was getting now would continue in school - it will in all likelihood lessen.

A Statement is a legally binding document outlining the child's difficulties along with strategies to help child cope in school. The LEA will also allocate a certain number of hours in terms of support (this would be more than what would be available on either School Action or School Action plus (more likely to be given to your son as outside agencies are involved).

I have a son with developmental delay and he struggled in the early part of reception. I would not want anyone to go through what we did. BTW we got a statement at the start of year 1 and he's doing great.

IPSEA are very good and can guide you through the minefield. Their web address is www.ipsea.org.uk.

If you decide to write to the LEA it needs to come from yourself rather than school The onus these days is very much on the parents to get the help their children need. You cannot rely on school to do it.

Adrian Phillips is an expert in his field, try him. He will give you a half hour consult for free over the phone explaining about statements, special needs, and much more.

www.adrianphillips.net/