Hearts telline me no but my heads saying yes..

[OMGGG]

any views really helpful today as im in a bit of a muddle.
ds is hfa, current school arnt doing a great deal for him, barely managing an IEP. They think he is coping or at least they say they do, i think they dont want to say otherwise as if they admit things they may have to br seen as doing something about it.
ds has been there since he was 2 years old, only just able to go into school without holding on to me and crying whilst being dragged in.
i went to see a new school in the area, i fell in love. the new school is very very inclusive and has lots of outside help for children like my ds. also there are a overly average amount of children with SEN. They are able to do social stories and assistance with friendships like the current school dont/cant . they must know what they are doing as a lot of ASD children go there and some are out of the area.
should i cease the opportunity and run or stay and fight and keep ds where he knows.
he has a close friendship at current school now which is lovely. i dont know what to do for the best. i just want to make sure ds gets a good education and as much help as possible to help him reach his full potential.

New school. Sounds lovely. Do it.

New school sounds fab and I would move him. Current school sound awful and even if there was a statement in place for him I feel they would not want to help him.

BTW if your son does not as yet have a Statement of special needs, I would be writing to the LEA asap requesting such a document. Look at IPSEA's website for more info www.ipsea.org.uk.

thanks all. i think i really want to so will talk to ds and take a look round with him he is currently in year 2, age 6 nearly 7.

should i wait to see what new school has to offer before applying for statement - is it ok to apply for SA if school is providing adequate help.

without doubt at current school i would be applying for statement. they say they have no funding to help ds.

it will be sad to leave as my daughter also went there and i fought tooth and nail sgaints admissions to get him in after he was refused a place which turned out to be due to a distance error they made.

i really think this nee school will be good for ds. the ht told me 7 ASD children are leaving current year 6 at the new school and all have made remarkable progress.

lifes such a worry.... i love the help mumsnet gives whether it be general opinion stuff or full on help its fab - thank you all

Move. Now. We were told to when at your stage, and I really should've listened.

Never flog a dead horse, always quit while you're ahead, don't stay where you're not wanted. Etc.

move. I thought I could improve my lot. I thought it was a misunderstanding, I thought I could win hearts,

nope.

move, before you invest anything more in where you are.

Move.
Now.

Yes- move.

go for it and move. I carried on battling for 3 wasted years and a lot of unhappiness for us both. good luck! X

Another vote for moving, my Dd3 was soo unhappy at her old school from day one. I thought I could change the attitudes and ethos of the school but of course I couldnt.

I moved her at the end of yr 3 and now she is happy and doing well :-)

thats really good to hear.
thank you all once again
my ds doesnt like school but i think that could be any school. i dont know why he doesnt like school but he says its too long and its boring.
i spoke to my ds yeaterday he said he doesnt want to leave his school. i told him it wasnt the right school for him but hr told me this morning it is.
something is holding me back...prob just fear of hurting my ds. what if he doesnt makr any friends and we go back to sqaure one with him crying at the classroom door.
i can keep his close friend in touch and i can arrange for slow transition into new school to help him.
im kind of angry with current school i feel like we are being forced out. we dont want to go but have to for sake of ds.
also me and ds's dad are splitting and me and dc's are moving home in sept. how will he handle it all. am i asking too much from him.

Change is one thing our kids hate but have to learn to accept that it happens :) all we can do is make it as easy a transition as possible for them.

write down the pros and the cons and see where it leaves you.

things spotted straight away is that your ds has a house move to contend with. I am only assuming would that also mean a different route/method of travel to school?

a family split is never nice and I feel for you there x but again it's a change he is going to have to accept bless him.

I guess I have a strange way of looking at things but I am thinking either way his life is going to be disrupted? forward planning by short visits, photos to prepare him anyway so if you were going to change schools now would be the best time as at least you lessen the risk of upheaval again for him if suddenly it goes wrong big time at school plus the changes would all be definite, constant so he should settle quicker with no future surprises?

I on phone so don't know if any of tht makes any sense lol x

thank you.
Paed looked down her nose at moving DS apparently far too msny adults make the decisions thst should be about the child. cheek!
said ds is just finding his own and its not good to put him in environment with other autistic kids , she said the trouble is there will be many like him. think she means she thinks he should stick with his nt friends.

hmmmm not sure what to reply to that lol only ds has had the odd nt friend that doesn't last and in truth he seems to seek out "like minded" children like him and they seem to seek him out right in the midst of an ms school.

wish you luck in what ever you decide. Sounds that you have quite a few changes to sort out as it is so hope it all goes well :)

thank you coff33pot i hope it all works out :-)