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I feel angry all the time im really struggling with ds possible adhd, long sorry

5 replies

CyberKing · 07/07/2013 20:24

I've posted many a time under various names not in a while though. Ds is 7 now and was dx with sensory seeking behaviours at age 5, discharged from 0T shortly after and now we are awaiting referral to CAHMS from community pead who he seen for 10-15 mins. Pead says in her opinion ds has ADHD with many sensory issues and is not ASD as far to social she also sees no motor issues as he can run, hop and skip.

Quick recap ds was a slow to develop baby and toddler physically (slow to climb, run, still cant ride a bike etc.) and with speech, always very needy and with many sensory issues mainly seeking behaviours, physical tics, tip toe walking etc. as a toddler he never role played although will now, lined up toys, flicked switches and banged doors obsessively had massive need for routine and had many meltdowns i was sure he was asd.

BUT he is VERY social talks to every one, is over familiar with them will sit on them even try and lick them if he gets too hyped up, wants friends even if they are nasty although in reality has only 1 he homes in on adults like their purpose is to amuse him. Think a black hole of neediness.

I'm struggling i cannot keep up with the constant need for his attention he is unable to amuse himself and is like my shadow, he will not listen to anything i ask of him in fact earlier when i frustratingly said to him 'will you do anything your told?' smiled and said 'no'. i cant take him anywhere as he runs off, jumps, skips, grabs anything, he very nearly fell under a car yesterday as he tip toe walks and its like his bottom half is disconnected from his top he staggers like a drunk. Every time i ask him to do something he stares at me blankly like his eyes are burning through me for as long as he possibly can i.e walking backwards to where he is going, he will not let me and dh be in a room together at all unless he is there and will SCREAM until one of us comes back, no consequence for behaviour works at all ive tried everything its like he us unable to make the connection despite knowing it. Anything anyone does he wants to do better even though he rarely can and for this the other children near by don't want to play with him he will not tolerate losing. Its constant 'LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! all the time. Eg a neighbour said that ds2 (1) is a good walker and ds1 started screaming look look at me i can walk too watch me walk..., he is always like this with everything does this sound like ADHD? its draining just hearing his voice each morning and its horrible to feel like this

im aware i sound like a terrible mother but nothing seems to fit him i don't understand him at all

OP posts:
lougle · 07/07/2013 21:21

He sounds like he's very insecure, doesn't he?

I don't think anyone can tell you what may be causing that behaviour. A lot of conditions overlap and what you see in his behaviour is just a symptom of his unmet needs. That is not to say you are doing anything wrong - it's impossible to meet needs unless you know what they are.

Does he respond well to praise?

CyberKing · 07/07/2013 21:31

yes very but he does get lots of attention so I have no idea why, his anxiety levels are through the roof he's a worrier and always on edge. He loves praise and loves to please but sadly seems obsessional even about that, praise him for something and he will go on about how well he's done for hours and hours afterwards of course im pleased he is happy but its the relentless NEED for praise and to please he will also use a moments good behaviour that he was praised for as an excuse for all his other actions if that makes sense?

OP posts:
coff33pot · 08/07/2013 09:24

DS is very social to everyone but social interaction and understanding the social side is totally different. He is agile and does all the leaping about etc but he is accident prone due to the impulsive side. He is also a worrier but tends to go hyper first (sensory seeking) before finally getting upset.

He was DX with an asd with ADHD plus sensory so things really do overlap and some children are quite complex to DX. Perhaps the camhs assessment will be more thorough for you and get to the bottom of it all x

claw2 · 08/07/2013 09:33

What does he have a dx of? read about ADHD, ASD and Sensory processing disorder and see which you feel best 'fits him' and the difficulties associated with it. As Lougle says, you are not a bad mother, its impossible to meet needs, if you are unaware of what they are.

My ds has ASD and SPD, the social side isn't just about NOT being social, its about inappropriate social engagement. My ds can be overly friendly, ask to go home with strangers etc, doesn't make him very social, just means his social engagement is inappropriate.

His sensory behaviour, seems like sensory seeking, he has a need and needs to fulfil it ie sitting on people, licking, tip toe walking etc.

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

There are plenty of other sites which give advice on strategies you can try, once you have worked out what the difficulties are.

PolterGoose · 08/07/2013 14:23

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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