Paed appt for DD with ?SPD - all advice gratefully received!

[TexMex]

Re-posted as I put this in SN chat which is perhaps not the right place for advice, so apologies for the duplication.

I'm in a bit of a quandry, as I haven't as yet got a formal diagnosis of SPD for DD. she had an OT assessment when she was 2.9 (which I arranged privately as no specialist services in our area) The report said she had a gross motor delay and sensory issues in many areas, but didn't say it was Sensory Processing Disorder itself. The report said it was difficult as she was so young but did identify all the areas she has difficulty with. I think the difficulty being its hard to tell what is her being 3 (awkward!) and what her actual difficulties with sensory processing are.

She's now almost 3.5 and I've spoken to her nursery teacher who has no issues with her gross motor skills, it seems these were delayed and I think because of her sensory issues rather than the other way round.

I talked to my lovely GP who has referred us to paeds, but other than going with a list and examples of what she has difficulty with I'm not sure what else I should do? I do feel a diagnosis would perhaps make things better for us in terms of getting her help if needed when she starts school, at the moment I feel like I have to explain all her issues and people are left just thinking she is an odd child rather than having a genuine problem. Equally at times I feel people are thinking I'm an overprotective parent (she doesn't like people touching her so I always feel I have to watch out to pre-empt meltdowns)

Thanks for reading, I'm feeling particularly exasperated and down about it all today. Any advice would be gratefully received.

I would certainly write everything down, particularly describing the most extreme behaviours for the paed.
A few questions to consider: Do you think it is SPD in isolation or does it overlap with other ASD-type behaviours? How does she manage with other children touching her at nursery? Do you think she's going to struggle at school?

Thanks for that advice, it's difficult at times to think what to write down, but I've thought today about giving a soecific example such as going swimming, and all her issues/difficulties around that. Does that sound a good idea?

The OT we saw didn't think she had any other ASD behaviours but I'm not so sure. I think I will follow your advice and describe things in detail. At nursery she has made 2 friends who she is fine holding hands with, but other children she doesn't like being touched by and puts her hand out in front of her to stop them. She is fine with her key worker touching her and helping her with going to the loo but only if absolutely necessary, and it's taken 6 months to get to this point!

I'm not sure what help she may need in school, it's very difficult to think ahead. She seems to really struggle with change in routine and more the social side of things really. Nursery have told me she is around age 5 level for Maths and phonics so I think as long as she takes to the teacher and they have an understanding of her difficulties she may be ok, but I'm not too sure at the moment. I feel like I need advice from someone who knows!!

I'll add that it took a lot of persuasion and conversations about the teacher to get her to the point of letting her help with going to the loo. DD used to be very tearful when I picked her up if someone had to pick her up or change her for any reason.

If she is struggling with changes in routine and the social side of things as well as the sensory issues it would be worth reading up on asd type behaviours. Things that are normal for your dd and you don't even really notice might actually be asd traits, if so, those things can be added to your list for the paed.