Middle ds has in diagnosed asd / dyspraxia symptoms - when to worry about my baby's symptoms?

[2boysnamedR]

Me again! So my ds has hypermobility and learning delays. Eldest son is supposedly gifted / talented so he is ok. My 15 month baby can't walk, talk, wave, point, clap, lift arms to be cuddled. Told hv I am concerned. Been told by everyone don't worry, they all catch up at some point ( all except those who don't I presume? Like my five year old? Who I guess is just a fictional character in this life).

I have pointed out to all that this is exactly where is started out with my middle son. But I get the standard 'you can't compair children as they are all different'. I guess if the baby's head fell off I shouldn't be alarmed as although I know none of his peers have head their head off, that not to say its not normal iykwim? ( same logic)

But I'm freaking out. If I wait and see then I have a years waiting list after that for the nhs)

At what age do I insist he is refered? 20 months?

Have you been to GP to raise concerns? Mine referred my son at 18 months

No not seen the gp yet. Just my hv who said they catch up by two ( which my five year didn't) she said the baby is coping ds as he sees that as normal behaviour ( but the five year old can now clap, point, wave, lift his arms and walk!?)

At what age can I see the gp? I see the hv at 18 months do I also see the gp and bypass the hv if she say come back in two months? I already don't see any point in seeing the hv at 18 months as I will get the 'they all catch up' standard line. She doesn't understand that hypermobility etc can be genetic hence I should be looking for my baby's delays

Would it be ok to see the gp now? I guess they do nothing til after 18 months?

Yes go to the GP, you're not a novice you've been around the block with this before and this is your 3rd dc. Write everything down before you go, so you f

Bugger my iPhone - sent before I was ready

So you don't forget anything - be clear from the off that you need a referral to community/developmentak Paedritician. Be confident and self assured you know this child best. Don't worry too much about red tape

*developmental - bloody iPhone

Thanks I will do that. I have been trying to get him to do these things and he did wave or sorts for a day when I flapped his arm about manically - but never again. OT said there's no such thing as a lazy baby so he either can't do it or doesn't want to as its too much effort.

I would go to the GP. My daughter was diagnosed at 3 years old. Every professional we mentioned our concerns to agreed that something was amiss. Everyone, that is, except the HV who just brushed it all off. I would definitely raise it with another professional. It may be nothing but if not, then getting help early is essential.

Thanks. I will go to my token hv appointment at 18 m then if gp tells me the hv will refer I can say she isn't interested. OT did say to me in my son session she thinks ot need to see them.

I did take my son salt, OT, school and paed reports to the hv but she didn't seem convinced my middle son isn't just a late starter.

That crap is so dangerous.
I was raising concerns about my ds from 15mths and was told he'd catch up by HV. When he was 2yrs she came my house saying the same thing and not to allow a referral to the community paediatrician because they just say everyone is autistic. When he was nearly 4yrs I finally got into a SALT who said nope he's not autistic and proceeded to film me for 6wks playing with my son, making me watch it back and telling me how I wasn't communicating with him effectively.
I was desperate and naive and clung to this and even though in my heart knew he was on the spectrum - I clung to their "professional" opinion.
My ds started MS with no support no dx and reception was awful for us, especially him. How different would it have been if they'd listened and supported us?

It's so upsetting. I am trying to do the best but just get seen as neurotic. The more I find out about my middle sn son the more alarmed I get. I get no guidance still on what's best for him. Do thinking about doing all this again fills me with panic and dread. You know when something's not right. But people won't listen

2boys - yes I have a dd 2yrs and ds is 8yrs and I watch dd like a hawk - you have to. She's not showing any signs of an SN and everyone tells me to relax - but I say bugger off I'm not taking my eye of the ball.
Ds had been dx'd for two years now and I'm still learning too and I pretty much do it alone, sometimes I'm overwhelmed by it all, other times I feel like I'm making head way.

You are not neurotic, you are not naive, OT agree with you that it needs further investigation - be sure to tell GP and HV about that too - they can't a bit uncomfortable calling into question another professionals opinion.
How long to the HV appointment?

Arrrrrrrrgggggg iPhone

They get uncomfortable questioning another professionals opinion

Thanks good point about telling the doc about what ot said. Two months till I see my hv. Lets hope he catches up like all these other kids. In the meantime I phoned sure start today who are sending out their outreach worker and talking toe about getting baby into a class in September to try to force him on. I agree with you. I'm going to presume I need to worry and he will have sn as well until I get proved otherwise. Sitting back and doing nothing didn't work before. Thank you so much I feel like I might self combust most days

I would still go and see GP now irrespective of other involvement. They can always say to come back in a few months or they may start the referral process. I wish I had gone a few months earlier. Trust your gut and get the ball rolling. Good luck. X

I agree with When - you'll be on pins until the appointment comes up. Whereas you can try to get GP referral now and if ds catches up, I'm sure you'll happily cancel the appointment and let someone else have it.
Putting things in

Seriously losing the plot with this effing iPhone - screen keeps randomly moving.

Putting things in place and putting yourself on the radar early might make you feel a little bit more in control

You know how slowly the wheels turn when they are in the system.
Get him in it, you can always jump out if he catches up.
You would regret inaction more than overzealous assessment.
Can you self refer to OT? I just have for my son over a different matter.
We will forever be neurotic mothers now Fuck 'em. Don't let what they think of you hang back from pushing forwards. Xx

Thanks your right I need to see a gp now. So much to deal with I just can't think straight any more. I will book in to see the gp after my family holiday in a few weeks. I will have my middle boys iep report back then and the baby will 17 months then so closer to the magic 18 months when they can do the chaps test. Thanks, this is my only support group, I can't thank you enough

How long ago did your middle DS get his dx? On the day DS1 got his official dx I said the (friendly) diagnostic team that I was concerned about DS2 as he showed many symptoms of autism (he would have been about 2 at the time). They put him straight onto their waiting list without need for a GP referral.