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struggling - need help

3 replies

zumbaleena · 01/07/2013 09:49

I am struggling and am scared today. Very scared for my little girl on the spectrum. She is so verbal but clueless in complex social situations. 3 ex - kindly guide!

  1. Today a friend reprimanded (v normally) her for plucking a weed flower. I usually let her do as she likes it. Dd's face just went down and there were big tears in her eyes. I distracted her and she was fine but I could see in the near future how she won't be able to take even little telling off.
  1. The same friend also pointed out that dd talks in a "rude" tone back to me. Yes, she does. That is her tone and we are working on "softening" it so that it is socially acceptable and does not sound rude.
  1. I run a solid aba vb program with my little one. The whole day goes in her therapy, food and I am also doing aba with her literally all the time outside of her sessions. The rest of the time, I place demands like take a bath, eat your food...I feel like a bloody soldier with her and when I wish to play, she clamps up but is great with her dad. Dad chides her and plays well but there is no skills gaining happening there.

Where am I going wrong? I am sooooo looking at RDI now cos' of this...but I have already heard enough from everyone telling me I am a bad mother....from my in laws, my own mum (though she understands me now), my husband does understand and is fully on board. Dd talking to me in a "rude" voice and crying all the time shows me up as a bad mum...still...I do feel gutted that am I genuinely going wrong somewhere in being a good mum???? I love her to bits and was the first one to recognise her symptoms, move fast, convince my hubby, set up a program...why am I reminded of being a bad mum all the time??? This is the only thing ever that makes me cry now a days...I have been strong enough to do all the things parctically otherwise - statementing, aba, school negotiations and biomed.

Pls pitch in with your advise.

OP posts:
WaitingIsWhatIDo · 01/07/2013 11:02

Hi I don't have a great deal of advice re your daughter I'm afraid, but I might be tempted to lose your friend ;-). It's really tricky getting people to understand, it's hard to understand ourselves. My little son is going to special school in Sept and I'm really hoping to make a few new friends there. I think you have to develop a bit of a tougher skin with some situations and maybe limit the time spent with in-laws and parents. Try to focus on what you are doing and don't listen too much to them, they are only ever seeing a snapshot of what you are doing, they are not walking in your shoes 24/7

zumbaleena · 01/07/2013 11:04

right - I got my semblance together after speaking to a smart friend! will think more practically next time...thanks :-)

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 01/07/2013 11:08

The only advice I have right now is put your focus on the times that are important that you can change for the better. My in laws and my mum will never get it ( well maybe in ten years when my son doesn't 'grow out if it') these people sap your will. There not worth the stress. But I'm still trying to take my own advice, it's really hard I know

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