Quick One: I'm absolutely livid

[Eliza22]

I'm divorced. Ds (ASD/OCD) goes to dad twice a month or, every other weekend. This weekend, he was allowed to sleep in a tent in the garden, by himself, whilst ex husband and partner slept in the house.

I'm so annoyed. Ds is high functioning, more Aspie but, with OCD, has massive anxiety issues. However, SD wanted to do it.

Was that a safe thing to do? He is described in his Statement as being " extremely vulnerable with very poor danger perception".

I would not have been happy about that - have you asked his dad why he let him do this?

I'd say dreadful idea letting him do it, dad should have gone too.
How old is your ds, btw?

depends, was he happy to do it? Is the garden enclosed & safe, was he able just to come indoors if anxious.
How old is he?
TBH as long as ds2 (asd, cerebral palsy & learning difficulties) was happy to do it i'd let him give it a go.
Sometimes our kids can surprise us.

Because he (ds) was excited to and wanted to show his dad he could do it! Ex husband is always saying ds needs to grow up, he's nearly "a teenager" and should be doing this/that/whatever. However, this is a bou who is very immature, has 2 diagnosed conditions, is taking Prozac for OCD and is NEVER independent ie, needs accompaniment when more that 5 meters from the house.

I'm really hacked off trying to get the point across to his dad. Ex left when son was 4. Four weeks following diagnosis. We have very different parenting styles.

As long as the garden is safe & secure I would let my ds2 give it a try of he was keen.
Although I don't think dh or I would get any sleep worrying & checking.
Is you ds pleased with himself for doing it, how does he feel now. Do you think its had a negative effect?

the main issue to me, is that my aspie ds, same age, has no problem solving skills. So if he has already been told the "answer" of how to handle something, he can do it. If you've missed that particular eventuality, he can't. That's the worry to me, that he comes across a situation that isn't in his repertoire, therefore more vulnerable as he hasn't got the skills to figure out what to do to stay safe. Mighty tricky and perhaps a bit individual.
I think the bottom line might be that you think your ex didn't think it through and do the adequate (and necessary) preparation work... well I think that's what would cause me the issue in your situation tbh.

If your ExH isn't living with your DS day in, day out, then the chances are that he's missed so many of those occasions that made it clear just how closely your DS needs supervising.

We're talking about a little boy, physically. He wears aged 9 to 10 clothes. He has little experience of ordinary social situations, having no peer group friendships and is therefore missing a massive opportunity to develope ways of relating to others. He is immensely socially awkward, he has Tourette's-style ticks and flicks and sticks out like a sore thumb. They live in a fairly quiet village, their house is enclosed but backs onto open land,farm land, I guess. I'm concerned that his dad put him into a seriously vulnerable situation. Many of us "know" our immediate neighbours but, how many of us really know the ins and outs of people who say, live 5 doors down?

I just think he is too little, despite his disability, to sleep alone in a garden tent, while the adult is not only in the house, but sleeps like the dead and their bedroom is on the front.