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Ds2 uses an odd voice a lot of the time. Is there anything I can do?

8 replies

Linglepoppingback · 27/06/2013 22:09

Ds2 is in year 2 and approaching 8. He is happy, academically able, loyal to family and classmates and his big brother who is his constant playmate. He loves the order and predictability of school life with its emphasis on keeping order and bite-size adventures.
He is wary in most groups of children where activities are unstructured, preferring to hang back and watch. He is happy on the playground though and describes the games he plays with a small circle of friends. he will tend to be the third friend in groups of three. He therefore misses out socially a bit though he has been to a couple of small parties this year, from children who consider him a friend.

I joined this forum when he was a non verbal toddler with severe receptive language delay and sensory issues living in a richly musical world and I led him out of that world with your help.

In year 1 his teacher gently pointed out that ds2 tends to use a strident voice when trying to negotiate with his peers and also we noted that he would tend to copy the vocabulary of an adult (eg attempting to impose closed choices) rather than copy the techniques of socially successful children.

At home he has, over the past year, increasingly used a shrieky, inarticulate, homer-Simpson-quoting voice even when cuddling me in the morning, punctuated by a constant series of song snatches. But if he has a question about schoolwork or an observation about, say, grandma's house, he has a lower,quiter,altogether more pleasant voice and is more articulate.

I suspect that the annoying voice thing is a combo of over sensitivity to voice tone plus a way of dealing with his social anxiety.

It annoys his brother too.

Are there any techniques or philosophies for dealing with this? Do I ban him from watching The Simpsons? Play him recordings of himself? Try to insist on a normal voice if he is requesting something? Continue to work on the social anxiety? (Harder now he is older). Or should I think of this behaviour as being as much part of the continuum of normal behaviour as non NT-quirk behaviour? Or as something may settle down?

All thoughts appreciated.

OP posts:
frizzcat · 27/06/2013 22:21

No advice Lingle, but watching this one with interest. Ds strange voice really grates

Linglepoppingback · 28/06/2013 14:10

bump!

OP posts:
Strongecoffeeismydrug · 28/06/2013 14:21

Ds is 8 and only just beginning to use his own words after years of only speaking in learned phrases or lines from tv programmes.
His learnt phrases that he uses outside the home are said in a blunt, snappy way .however as he's getting his own speech his tone is very soft.
With DS it's obvious to us when he's feeling anxious just by how he speaks.

Linglepoppingback · 29/06/2013 19:31

Bumping again :)

OP posts:
lougle · 29/06/2013 19:49

DD1 (7.6) does this when she's tired/stressed/sad/happy/excited, etc. It's a sign to me that she's overloaded. I tend to assess why she's doing it and if it's tired/stressed/sad, I overlook it unless it's becoming a barrier to communication. If she's happy/excited, I find it makes her go 'giddy' and so I clamp down pretty harshly. I simply say 'DD1, enough. DD1 voice.' then respond instantly and attentively when she's modified her voice and repeats herself.

DD2 (5.11) does it a lot when she's excited or pleased. I clamp down as above.

DD3 does it when she wants us to tell her how lovely and cutesy she is. She's only just 4, so I view it as totally normal and tend to ignore it unless it's annoying me too much.

linglpoppingback · 09/07/2013 21:00

bumping as one of older brother's friends popped in tonight, went upstairs for a while and came back down saying he'd come down because DS2 was annoying him with his shrieky voice (guess elder brother's friend has some stuff to learn himself about criticising children in front of their mother but let's not go there).

Guess it's not just me it annoys. Ds1 says DS2's friend (though i think it's ex-friend at the moment) does an annoying voice on purpose too and it really annoys DS1. Do just think how much DS must annoy everyone.

Ds2 actually says " I like being annoying" but I'm not sure he quite knows what he means when he says that....

any help or chat appreciated. I end up shouting at him which is not like me.

Ds1 has the patience of a saint.

Is this like a stim that I need to redirect?

frizzcat · 09/07/2013 21:24

Ah bugger was watching this thread and got all excited because I thought someone came back with some super douper cure all advice Grin

Maybe we should record them?? Maybe let them hear the silly voice and then record their lovely natural voice. So they can hear the difference and ask things like "what sounds nicer to you ds?" "What voice would other people like? How does the silly voice make our friends feel?" Etc, etc

linglpoppingback · 09/07/2013 21:35

When does your child do it frizzcat? Can you identify the situations?

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