Dyspraxia/adhd - what to do about sports day?

[Kiriwawa]

DS is 6 and in year 1. He has been to one sports day (at pre-school) where he was slower than the 2 year olds, even though he was 4. He hated it and was utterly, utterly miserable afterwards.

I didn't make him go in reception because he got in such a state about it - his teacher agreed with me that he didn't have to go although he didn't have a dx at that stage. It's obviously coming up again in the next few weeks and when we went into school this morning, all the equipment was out on the field and he freaked out, not wanting to go into school at all - I had to drag him in with the promise that it wasn't actually sports day today.

So do I ask if he can not go again? Or invent an appt (or actually book one - he's overdue dentist and optician appts) and pick him up at lunchtime?

How have other people handled this?

Sports day is torture for some children. I still remember them vividly from my own childhood as a day of total misery resulting in utter failure and always being last/not picked/falling over (and that's me remembering events from some considerable time ago!)

For my ADHD/dyspraxic son, he did enjoy them but the teachers were hopeless with helping him with his difficulties (although they knew his dx). So, for example, in the "sack" race, he always ended up tangled up in the sack. Then there were other races where he had to put on various articles of clothes before running. Again - a tangled mass of legs and arms with no help from anyone but me to untangle him. (And this was from a top indie school who should have know better!!!)

Tbh I would be open and honest and go to his teacher and explain to him/her that you DS wll not be attending this year's Sports Day. If you are not "allowed" then escalate it to the HT. By being open and honest, it'll mean that the teachers won't be making plans around your DS being present. Being honest means you'll be able openly talk to your DS about him not going, so if the equipment is around the school prior to the day, he won't get into a panic.

Then, on Sports Day, do something really lovely for just you and DS.

Thanks so much TOWIELA. I think I just needed to check that I wasn't being really PFB about the whole thing.

He really hates shouting and screaming and crowds anyway, quite apart from the sporting side of things so the whole thing is torture!

I'm going to see his SENCO this afternoon anyway so I will raise it with her (she's also deputy head) and then tell his teacher in the morning.

Sports day can be tough, its my ds2's this Monday and I am taking him to the cinema. The one and only year he went they made him hold the tape at the end or throw
a bean bag in a bucket. He is now
15 and always misses it. I feel your pain kiri x

And if they complain tough. Your child has the right to feel happy, spending the day with mum Will make him feel special. Maybe take him swimming? It will be quiet during the day and you could have your own mum and son sports day and have some fun.

Thanks cheeks.

I had a meeting with the SALT, Senco and family liaison and they all felt that he should be 'supported' to attend. They said that they are in mixed age teams (ie include children from reception and yr 2 as well as yr 1) so it won't be apparent he's so much slower than his peers. I know for a fact that's bollocks - he gets overtaken by every single child on the way to school (we walk) and still struggles with stairs.

He was freaking out about it again this morning (he cannot keep his egg in his spoon, he is always last in every single race) so I think I might speak to his teacher and just take him out of school at lunchtime next week. What is the point of the whole school (and all the parents) seeing how utterly inept he is?

Completely agree with you - my son says to me its pointless, highlights his disability and its bloody stupid lol have the day off x

Kiriwawa - I'm so sorry the school have not supported you. It must be horrible for you both - especially as he's freaking out. You've tried your best to be reasonable, so now just take him out of school for the day. Don't forget to do something really lovely and special with him on the day.