Typical 21 month old or autism

[Fifi2406]

So I've been dealing with horrific 2 hour tantrums for a while now where he hurts himself and causes bruises all on his face from head butting and doesn't seem to have any common sense like "this hurts i'll stop" he would just do it over and over I've just been dealing with it and saying its frustration cos I don't really understand what he wants half the time but I've been googling all of the behaviours I see him doing that I don't see others doing because he's getting so aggressive towards me ive had blood nose from being head butted he's drawn blood from scratching me and came across information about head banging and voilence being linked to autism...I started reading about it and he has quite a few of the characteristics but not things like doesn't smile..he is a smiley boy when he is not having these rages

He sleeps fine, from about 8pm until half 6/7 then has at least an hour nap so its not due to tiredness

Obviously I know the Internet is not always a reliable source for medical conditions but things I found that might be linked

These are the things he does do:
Self injury

No eye contact when I speak to him sometimes when i sing a nursery rhyme he does look in my eyes

Doesn't turn around when I say his name I could say it over and over and over he just looks like he's tuning me out and he definitely isn't deaf

Try's to break everything, plays with a toy for about 30 seconds then will throw it in anger

When he's having the tantrums I can't console him nothing works not even a food bribe (stopped trying that) or a dummy

Not always but some of the time walks on tip toes

He refuses to eat, he had food on Thursday last week and since then he has had a couple of mouthfuls at lunch and won't even let me put his plate on his high chair or baby feed him at dinner time and its now Wednesday and he still seems to have a lot of energy he has had lots of fluid as normal

When I join in when he's playing with toys by playing I mean the 30 seconds the toy has his attention before he gets thrown he gets annoyed at me and pushes me away prefers to play by himself.

The toys that do keep his attention for longer are things that have lights and he presses over and over and over or things that stack up he will do over and over

Constantly walking into things has no space awareness!

Should I be worried? I know self diagnosis on the Internet is not the way to go but I'm now panicking that its way more than the "terrible twos" early

Sorry that is so long! And forgive spelling or grammar I'm on my phone

Honestly - I would be worried. You can check online Mchat autism screening for toddlers. And then go to GP and ask for referral to paediatrician.

In meantime the best thing would be to treat your boy as if he has ASD - it can only do good, if 'normal' parenting doesn't work.

Stanle Greenspan 'Child with special needs' is good book, there are many others.

Also ask for referral to occupational therapist - this will take ages, if you are ok for money, go private. Find one that is trained in sensory integration and she will advice you regarding the head butting etc - it might be sensory issue.

Good luck and hope I didn't scare you.

I would also get Portage involved for September. Your HV should have the number. You can self refer. The food thing sounds like it is a sensory thing and a need to control. I would abandon the high chair and just let him graze, as I suspect he hates being confined. Try and think about what he does like to do, and tailor things that way. Is he speaking yet? He may also be massively frustrated as he's struggling to express himself.
Try thinking a bit out of the box where toys are concerned, spinning light up things are great, plus textured things that he can feel or rub.

My youngest hated sloppy food and spoons. So it was finger food for him. I made sure nothing touched and that it was grouped together in colours. Meat textures are a nightmare so we eat a lot of sausages, breaded chicken and fish. He has a peculiar diet to say the least.
I do think it does sound like sensory behaviour to me, so a trip to your GP for a referral to a behavioural paed would be advisable and get Portage and SALT involved too. Lots of evidence is required if he has got ASD.

What is SALT and Portage

Haven't done any research of how to be a parent to an autistic child literally read about these symptoms this morning!

I'll definitely look at some books for advise

I've called my health visitors office and they have arranged to come to my house on Friday morning to talk about my concerns so I'll see what they think then go to the gp first thing next week. It would explain a lot if he does have it!

The food thing, he won't even do finger food just left on the coffee table for him to pick at just doesn't want it near him or to see it....says "no" and pushes it away or gives it to me to take away

Also his speech isn't great he doesn't say full words its like half a word and I know what he means

He does wave bye and says bye and hello etc I know not doing that can be a sign of autism but he seems to be okay on that side of things

And the fact that when he's not having a tantrum he's good as gold really and quite confident...he's like two totally different children super happy or really angry!

Salt is speech and language therapist. Portage is support provided in some areas; you can google them.

The food can be sensory or food phobia or mixture; my ds is the same. Try to offer lots of messy play, let him touch the textures... OT would help with this. My ds only eats 3 types of baby jar food, he is almost 4 :(

Don't let HV fobb you off that he is too small etc, insist on referral.

Ahh okay thank you! I've tried to do sensory play with him but he isn't interested in it at all just screams no and runs off, he's not into drawing or anything creative....he does like water so I put him on a stool and let him play with the sink which he loves but can't do that allllll day???

The food thing...when he does eat he eats a lot and most things except fruit fruit sets him off! So he either eats loads for a week or so then for a week its not at all! But i know if i gave him those "goodies" oaty bar things he would eat that can't live off those though...He ate half a sandwich at lunch that's the biggest amount of food he's had since Thursday!

and get a hearing test to rule out a hearing issue.

Yeah the health visitor said about hearing when i called earlier...He likes music certain adverts on tv attract his attention from another room or theme tunes on cbeebies and he will run to the tv whilst the music is on I know he can hear fine he just seems to ignore me tune me out so I don't think it's a hearing issue at all

sounds familiar. but i would want to get it checked out just to be on the safe side.

It's impossible (and irresponsible) for us here to try and take a guess, but it's good you've got the ball rolling by getting a HV appointment.

But don't be fobbed off though - if the HV brushes your concerns aside with "they all do that" kind of comments, but you're left niggling that actually "they don't all do that", push for further investigation.

It's very hard, many 21 mo boys will have extreme behaviour which may have nothing more sinister behind it. The thing that would worry me actually, is the repetitive play you describe. But again, that on it's own isn't necessarily a sign.

What's he like with other people? Does he interact with other children? Or adults?

At the very least, looking into ways of helping him will really help (even if he turns out to be ok). Also worth looking at More Than Words book, I haven't read it myself but it comes highly recommended by many on this board.

Keep posting here too, there are many of us who can help

I would go and talk to your GP. They can refer to a developmental paediatrician. It's definitely not too early. Good luck x

He interacts with adults, even strangers he's confident with adults "says" hello to anyone who walks past in the street but not really children he doesn't really pay any attention to them even being in the room unless they are being really noisy screaming or if they have a tantrum he will watch!

I was panicking about it earlier felt awful but I really need to wait for professional help first before I am saying yes this is it....whatever the outcome I'm sure we'll deal with it! I definitely wont be fobbed off i was fobbed off before with oh hes got an ear infection and a little cold when infact he had a serious case of whooping cough and had to be admitted to hospital so i definitely wont be taking any crap from gp this time! Hopefully he's just a crazy boisterous boy! I keep my fingers crossed

Thanks everyone who's responded I'll let you know what HV says on Friday

Good luck for Friday, it is worth getting a hearing test referral too if no one has suggested that

Don't panic. As others have said, yes he does seem to have a few 'red flags' but you are doing the right things, and there isn't anything to be lost by treating him as if he is on the spectrum for now. If HV isn't helpful, go to your GP. They should be able to refer you to the community paed for an initial meeting to see if your son needs assessment.

There is a lot of help and support out there, but you have to push and dig for it. And we're all here too. I have a 2.6 yr son who's just been diagnosed, and we're just starting to get to grips with all this stuff. It might seem like everyone else gets all these new acronyms and terms and stuff, but some of us are just starting out and I'm happy to hold your hand.

The health visitor was very helpful gave me lots of info and a speech and language drop in session to go to next week to see if he's angry because he can't communicate what he wants or if its more serious, she also agree's that he had a few things that were a concern but not to panic so we will go from there see how it goes! Thanks everyone for posting!! X