Tips for meeting with school - HFA

[Levantine]

Apols for essay, have tried to break this up to make it more readable....

I have posted before about my 6 year old DS. He is awaiting diagnosis, prob HFA. He has been very unhappy at school recently and ran out of school after me one day last week, and then one night he sobbed about how miserable he is, which is very unlike him. Specifically, he said he is bored and lonely (I ran through every adjective I could think of and these were the ones he nodded at). If he has a ?good? day at school, he blows up at home, wanting to strangle me, run into the road, hits his brother.

They have given up trying to include him in any carpet time, they let him read in the book corner and then explain to him what the work is. If no one sits with him, he doesn?t finish it (according to his teacher)

Our CAMHS therapist has organised at school on Friday with his teacher, next years teacher, the SENCO who has been previously unhelpful and hopefully someone from the outreach team at our local specialist autism school. SENCO has said no need for one to one, and no need for ed psych

What should we ask for? Things have got better this week, his teacher has produced a very detailed schedule of what he is to do every day, which he is very pleased with, but which really should have been done months ago. He has no IEP at the moment. I keep hearing of things they have tried that haven?t worked, eg fidget toys, wobble cushions, but I don?t really know what else. I am going to insist that they think about how to re-integrate him into whole class teaching.

There is no OT provision on the NHS for sensory issues, so we are thinking of trying to pay privately for an assessment.

One worry is that his teacher says he is fine now - what else should I look out for, and what do we want to leave the room with? Thankfully DH is coming with me, so I am less likely to leave in tears like last time.

What is the purpose of such a meeting?. Meetings like this can be all hot air ultimately. You are his best - and only - advocate here.

They are nowhere near meeting his additional needs at school are they?.
This is perhaps why he shows disruptive behaviour to yourself and his siblings when he is out of school - he has likely bottled up all the frustrations of the school day and has internalised everything.

Is your DS on anything like School Action Plus currently?. What additional support does he currently receive?.

BTW IEP's should be done termly and with you present.

SENCO seems particularly unhelpful re saying no need for one to one and no need for EP. Wonder why that is; it may be because she does not want to do the additional work. That stance of hers is not helping your son any and she is failing him.

I would now arm yourself with a copy of the SEN Code of Practice (available online) and go through that with a fine toothcomb. I would also now apply for a statement from the LEA as that will shake things up a bit as well. You do not need anyone's permission nor a diagnosis to apply for a statement.

Have a look at IPSEA's website for more information. www.ipsea.org.uk

You also need to think longer term i.e towards end of Junior school and into secondary.

If you have not done so already I would be applying for DLA on his behalf as well.

Thanks Attila. I sometimes think I am losing perspective and it's not as bad as all that, he has lots of friends and is quite cheerful at school apparently. Today he has been absolutely fine. But at other times he is very distressed and violent. So I am concerned about them taking it seriously.

Good advice about the code of conduct, thank you.

The specifics I have in mind are making sure that we review his progress regularly and insisting that they put strategies in place to reintegrate him into group work, but i will comb through the code of conduct too