Health Visitors

[elliejjtiny]

I have DS1 who is mostly NT, DS2 who has EDS, part time wheelchair user, failure to thrive and development delay as a baby, DS3 who had reflux and development delay as a baby but is a lot better now, just mobility issues and DS4 who has a severe cleft lip and palate, low muscle tone, NG tube, currently still in SCBU. We had one HV for DS1 and DS2, another for DS3 and a different one again for DS4.

HV with DS1 was really good. I had PND and anxiety and he was my PFB. With DS2 I was a lot more confidant, despite his SN and I felt I didn't need her as much. I had a whole load of different proffessionals that time anyway. But she was quite insistant that I came to baby clinic to get him weighed, even when he was being weighed several times a week at the hospital.

With DS3 I saw the new HV quite a lot in the beginning, telling him that DS3's puking was not normal. He told me that all babies puke. Then DS3 puked on him and we got a referral to DS2's paed. After that we had the same problem as before. I was quite happy with the support given by the paed, physio and dietician but the HV wanted me to go and see him for weigh ins and unhelpful advice.

DS4 is 2 weeks old. He already has a cleft nurse, 3 paeds and a physio. New HV has rung twice in the last 2 days asking when he is coming home, she sounds keen! I have a horrible feeling that she's going to be like the others, hovering around when I don't need her and getting in the way.

Sorry, got to go as I have an appointment at 9 but does anyone else find that HV's are a pain when you're an experienced mum with a SN child.

I would be inclined to let them do an initial visit just so you have met each other. Then say, "thank you very much, I'll be in touch if I need you, but as DS4 is being monitored by multiple other health professionals, then I don't think we need to meet regularly at this stage." Cleft nurse will no doubt be monitoring any feeding issues and weight will be checked either by her or at any hospital apptmts, Can't imagine what else you would need the HV for but then I had a crap HV who was a complete waste of space so I am inclined to be blinkered by that

Gosh, you have a lot on your plate.

I always found that interactions with HV appeared to be more for THEIR benefit to justify their existence or something. Having said that I have also come across two Excellent ones (though they are rarely the run-of-the-mill HV and usually promoted into another position).

One was a manager of a surestart centre, and the other I was referred to after refusing to engage with the normal HV. She was the team manager or something and every 3 months she calls me to ask me if there is anything she can do and usually I ask for her to check on a referral or contact the school nurse or something like that and she usually has whatever it is sorted within the hour. Excellent I'd say.

So perhaps you can arrange something like that? It is probably a good idea to have them involved, if just at a distance, as someone you can use to chase/lobby etc. should you need it.

The last HV I saw was at a breastfeeding clinic about ds' tongue tie.

Given the 2.5 hour return journey twice a day on public transport to ds' school (before we settled) I couldn't get to weighing clinic.

HV refused to weigh baby stating it was a bf clinic, not a weighing clinic, that she doesn't know anything about tongue tie or where I can get it snipped though she doesn't think ds has it. I had busted a gut to get to this and made crazy logistic childcare arrangements. I burst into tears.

The HV said to me 'I think you have a lot going on and you're feeling very fragile aren't you?, Why don't you make an appointment with your HV who can tell you what services we can offer you'.

I replied. 'No. I'm very strong. When I realised that agencies just give us inappropriate existing provision rather than meet our needs and that I would have to do everything myself, it was refreshing. I was here over concerns that my baby was not feeding properly, yet you refuse to weigh him or research my options wrt tongue time. My tears are because I fell over myself to get here and was stupid enough to give support services another chance. I'm not interested in your other provisions. I'm interested in getting help for the ONE thing I came to you about. Nevermind.'

I have always been pretty sceptical of health visitors and their so-called 'expertise'. That having been said, when I called up last week with concerns about how paediatrics were managing my son's medical and developmental problems, she did a home visit the next day, made several referrals, chased the paediatricians and helped me to make a plan for what to do next. She called me this morning to check things were moving forward, which they now are. So at the moment, I am very fond of my health visitor, who more than did her job for me.

Thanks everyone. Hope my previous post wasn't too incoherent. I was typing one handed while expressing milk with the other hand and watching the clock trying very hard not to be late. I find the HV's I've met are really good if you want advice on weaning/sleeping etc with your PFB but not so much if your needs are more complex.

I've met this HV 3 times now. Once for DS3's 2 year check, once for an antenatal visit and once today for DS4's discharge meeting (hence my annoyance that she kept asking if he was home yet when she knew when the discharge meeting was). All 3 times it was me explaining things to her rather than her giving me advice. The paediatrician is brilliant so I usually go to her for advice or I would go to the cleft nurse if it was cleft related.

I do find that HV's feel like they need to have constant updates so that they don't look stupid in front of the other professionals. DS2's HV liked to weigh him several times a week and report his weight to the paediatrician as it made her feel important. Starlight I've been to a few appointments like that and I feel your pain.

My HVs were pretty useless. I went along regularly with NT DS1, but when I was concerned about DS2, (ASD) she pooh poohed my concerns. I hardly saw them with DS3 and when I did it was me pointing out quirks.

Congratulations on DS4. I hope things start improving for him and you can keep the HVs off your back.

It makes me laugh that they are bugging me currently about ds' development check (overdue from 9months). I fail to see the point.

If they couldn't spot classic and moderate-severe autism in my ds at 2.5, despite my reeling off a list of red flags then what on earth development-wise are they trained to identify?

Currently I know rather more about child development than any one of them and I think I probably did then too.