My son STILL cannot read. The school won't support me at all

[ShoutyCrackers]

Any advice please?

He is in Year 1 and will be 7 in December. He can read and spell his own name as well as 'Mum' and 'Dad' and that is it. His reading book is the pink one that 4 year olds have in Reception...he struggles with this. He is on SAP and has 1 to 1 every day. The school tell me he has 'concentration issues' and is unable to settle down sometimes after a outdoor play session so they remove him to another classroom until he calms down. He also is unable to pronouce some words...'flower' for example will be 'schlower' and 'beautiful' will be 'blootiful'

However he has no Special Needs and is ahead in Maths and Science type stuff. He is intelligent and knowledgeable about all sorts of different subjects and is really just a normal little boy.

I am convinced that he has dyslexia. The school disagree and try and insist that he reads to me for 20 minutes a night. I won't do this and have explained my reasoning behind it... he gets very stressed, won't participate unless forced, cries etc etc and it all ends in me being angry and it's just a shambles. I made the decision that he has to concentrate enough at school so I am not going to force this at home. This doesn't stop the teacher writing ' XXX would like to read with his mummy every night' in his book - which has somewhat given me the rage!

I am about to pay for a private dyslexia assessment - he has a screening appointment on Thursday and I will see what the results of that show.

Can the school MAKE him read to me in the evening? He literally cannot do it. I can sound out a word with him...C A T for example...and he will come up with CAN or GATE ... and then he howls in frustration...and so the cycle begins!

Does he sound dyslexic to you? Any advice appreciated.

Well I absolutely would be forcing him if he was just being lazy, make no mistake! But he isn't so I can't.

That's very helpful Beemom - thanks a lot

Bee LOVED the flyswatter game. One of the fun things with it too was that we changed it up, where she had to tell me what words to find... and of course, I would occasionally hit the wrong one, to see that she was able to search for and find not only her errors, but my own, as well.

Plus, it was a transfer of power - she got to be the "boss".

Or... you can just sit on him and shout louder than he is screaming...

sounds like his comprehension is quite good then Shouty. DS also has fairly good comprehension though he is inclined to get bogged down in the detail or become overly literal about things. But mostly his use of language is really sophisticated, which is why the lack of reading is such a puzzle.

love your post about the flyswat BEemom. This is a more fun version of what we are already doing with flashcards. I think your point about the scientifically minded doing best with rote learning and then working out their own rules is spot on for my DS anyway. I do sometimes think we'd have been better off with Peter and Jane.

Good grief Cathan!

It doesnt matter who has what dx and I would take it that we ALL know what we are talking about when it comes to our own children.

Also peoples experiences of having a "label" or not differ depending on the type of understanding in schools and RL. For instance if my son didnt have his "labels" he would certainly not be receiving the support he is getting now and his school are outstanding in what they have achieved so far.

We can only advise on our experiences or what we found to be helpful and the poster can then hopefully pick something out that just may help her child. Cant just go around telling a poster she is making excuses! she is obviously concerned and wants to help her son.

Shouty The school may just not know what to do for the best but the senco is out of order putting the blame on you and notes in books always did infuriate me.

Clicker 6 has been good for my son at school and we have it at home. That may be worth looking into for the future. DS felt he was "writing" stories through this and you are able to programme his interests into clicker to keep the interest going. It reads back sentences to the child so the child can determine if he/she has chosen the correct word and alter it. Bit like a game. Pictures can be used and you can store your own images for use. A lot to explain here but this is what helped my son decide to try the "reading and writing stuff" as he puts it :)

One other thing (from a sensory perspective)...

A heavy weight on his lap/across his shoulders or an inflatable seat cushion after being on the playground might help him focus. Some children do not have an on/off switch, and that transition is exceptionally difficult for them. The grounding effect of a weight or the ability to "fidget" a bit by sitting on a more "interactive" surface than a hard chair can make a really significant difference. In our experience, at least...

I also agree with PolterGoose on a possible sensory assessment via an OT. There was a lot the school were not aware of and that they were doing harm rather than helping. Such simple steps from a sensory diet can help towards making the day run smoother for your DS.

Was he fully assessed by salt? Just asking as you say your ds struggles to pronounce some words and struggles with blending the sounds together to form a word eg c.a.t would be can or dog.
My dd has very similar problems and still cannot read in y2. She has been assessed by salt a few times and each time discharged due to not being able to concentrate on the therapy.
It wasn't until I requested copies of all salt reports that I found out she had a dx of phonological disorder. Have a google, it is basically when children cann out pronounce certain speech sounds and these sounds have not developed in line with other children's - they are disordered. Children with phonological disorder find it very difficult to blend sounds into words, resulting in being unable to read.
Have u noticed if your ds seems to memorise words rather than sound them out?
I could be totally wrong, but it's worth requesting his salt reports to see what they say.

#cannot

No he's not been fully assessed by anyone really! Not to my knowledge anyway.

You're right though - he is unable to sound out a word. I will practically give it to him ' cuh a tuh ' I'm literally saying the word CAT and it's as if he can't hear me! Well, he can hear in the literal sense but just can't process the word.

Off to google that - thanks

Hi op.
Check out the tinsley house support thread x

Shouty - your original post sounds so similar to my own DC who has, amongst other things, a dx of severe dyslexia.

I can totally relate to your experiences of reading with DS. Go with your instincts. A child who cries and gets so distressed at reading is not a child that is being naughty or lazy. 20 minutes a night reading will not "cure" him. I followed my DS school's advice (for four years!) and ended up with a deeply unhappy child on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I had to withdrew him from the school at the end of year 3 and home ed him whilst fighting for a Statement.

Despite his dyslexia, my DS also loves maths and science. However as he gets older, maths is becoming increasingly harder for him because it's now not just about numeracy, but also includes, for example, the 'language' of maths. With words such as "parallelogram" or "isosceles triangle", what hope does he have without proper support!

My son also sounds like yours with fidgeting and being over stimulated. He now has a dx of ADHD too.

I would also have your DS fully assessed by SALT because it does sounds as though there are phonological problems there too.

If they say you DS is too young to be dx with dyslexia, ignore them, my DC was diagnosed at 6½ when he was in Year 1. As he was so young, his original diagnosis was 'moderate dyslexia' but is now 'severe' - he probably has always been 'severe' but was too young at the original assessment to do all the tests.

Good luck.

My ds in year 1 has similar issues and he has a phonological speech disorder which puts kids at high risk of literacy difficulties. Phonological processing is also a cause of dyslexia.

DS is a P6 for reading but has had recent academic testing by clinical psych (assessing for ASD but unable to decide) showing he is above average!

Shouty - the settling down after playtime sounds like a sensory thing - have you read anything about this? It sounds like he is getting overstimuated and cannot modulate himself downwards easily.

I would keep on reading to him, try and get him to read to you, but don't make a war of it - he will just end up hating reading.

MY DS knew his phonics, really well, but it took him ages to get to the reading.....he would sound out the word - but then couldn't seemingly put the sounds together, or hear how they were meant to go together

When we got his diagnosis and one of the big things he struggled with was sequencing, it all kind of fell into place.

A big thing for him has also been sorting out his sensory issues.

He has gone from really not being able to read at the beginning of year 3 , to level 10-13 books now in year 3. But I think the key thing is not to make him hate reading and to try and work out why it is not working for him.

Shouty, if the Head is also the SENCO, then unless the school is tiny it is acting in contravention of paragraph 5.34 of the SEN Code of Practice which says it is usually inappropriate for the SENCO to have other school-wide responsibilities. That is because, if the work is done properly, the SENCO just hasn't got time to take on any other responsibilities, let alone those of Headteacher. That might account for why yours is so useless, and you might like to bring it up with the governors.

nennypops - how tiny is tiny? The HT of the school my LA is trying to force me to accept is also the SENCo

Shouty does sound like it is just reading then. Frustration could be causing behaviours if finding school difficult. Most families I know with children with dyslexia have been forced to go private. Hope you get an explanation.

There are lots of childrens books now done in a Manga / graphic style which my boys like. My friend made her own scrapbooks eg about a day trip, just normal family stuff with pictures of her child doing activities and labelled them and used them to teach reading to her daughter with dyslexia.

I also think teaching reading has been completely distorted by the phonics screening test schools had to do this week, my older children stopped phonics half way through reception. DS3 is end of year 1 and has done phonics day in, day out for months with no room for other approaches as far as I can see.

Thanks for taking the time to post all. It's proved very helpful and informative and ill be checking out all your suggestions.

His school is quite small. Very rural, 120 pupils. The head actually is a head of two schools - she took on some other head role last year and splits her time between the two schools as well as being the SENCO so I suppose she has her work well and truly cut out for her!

I guess that as he approaches 7 I am beginning to realise that it probably isn't going to just click for him. Not when I put it with his other behaviours. He is well behaved, I don't really have a problem with him- but he can also be a handful. He also has tantrums. These happen maybe once a month, sometimes more sometimes less. I can't pinpoint a trigger to fend them off really. And when I say tantrum.... He loses control of himself, he screams an ear piercing shriek , he tries to throw things, he spits , lashes out and cannot bring himself under control. He is dealt with with extremely short shrift as I'm not having him doing that - so he's just frog marched to his room until,he calms down . Reasoning with him is pointless until hes been defused. Usually 20 mins. He then wants a cuddle, is sorry and he's fine.

I've no idea if this is normal for 6 year olds. I have a 15 year old DD who has never had a tantrum in her life and was reading fluently by 5 so I'm never too sure if he is just being an average 6 year old boy.

So, I put the above with his inability to read, sound out words, his clumsiness ( I've watched him stand still in a room and fall over! ), the fact he cannot pronounce some sounds like 'fl' and his passions for Space, the Greeks etc. and I wonder if he is somewhere on the spectrum.

Having said that though, he really is very 'normal' most of the time. People often describe him as 'quirky' but he's chatty, bright, easy to engage , loves being outdoors, cuddly, understands everything said to him and has a good vocabulary so then I think ... Just dyslexia.

And even if he does have 'something' I'm not sure what I can do about that anyway? He has a high functioning sort of whatever he might have so its probably not even worth putting him through the whole round of appointments etc.

Gosh, he sounds so much like my own DC. I thought my own DC was 'just' dyslexia, but, 18 months down the line, it turns out it is so so much more. Yes, we've had a barrage of assessments, but at least now I know what he's up against.

The falling over could be related to dyspraxia/dcd.

Thanks twig - how is yours getting on now?

Ill see what happens in this screening on Thursday . It's online to give a basic overview initially and then ill take it from there

Shouty - in 18 months we have gone from the LA saying that he is nowhere near Statutory Assessment, to Tribunal appealing his crap Statement in a couple of weeks and ultimately being sent to a specialist school for severe dyslexia. I have been home eding him for a year as last school (Ofsted "outstanding") nearly brought him to a nervous breakdown because of exactly what you have said - the extreme meltdowns when being 'made' to read. Mine is not a good story.

Good luck on Thursday

Poor you. And poor him. Hope he's turned a corner now.

DS used to have age in-appropriate tantrums up until a year ago, when he was diagnosed with SPD and dyspraxia. the reason they stopped were two fold - he is so much better "modulated" with his SPD - this means his sensory needs are being meet (and have become less demanding) and also because now we understand he has dyspraxia, we understand how much of a drain simple things can be on him.
HTH

Shouty when are you reading with your Ds?. My son started to react the same as yours when he had reading books in Reception class.Reading straight after school was a definite No No, his routine is to come in snack/drink/downtime and then what ever else needs doing. We leave his reading book until an hour before he goes to bed so everywhere is relaxed, no distractions (you wouldn't believe how much of a distraction it was for my Ds when my DH was taking a shower upstairs, took me a while to work that one out ), just me and him 1-1 time. This has been ideal because it has given me an opportunity to document where he is struggling and I am still noting the same subtle difficulties he was having when he was 5, he is now 8.