Sports day at ms primary school, how is it for your dc?

[TapselteerieO]

How do you cope?
Any advice on ASN and coping with losing?

My ds has ASD, but having recently (7 months in) moved LA we are struggling to get the support he needs. Sports day has never been easy for ds, but today amongst all the nt children and their nt reaction to not winning, my unsupported ds stuck out like a very sore thumb. All the children with more severe and complex needs than my ds were well supported, and it was lovely to see them involved.

It is just hard, if my ds had had 1 to 1 support maybe it would have been easier, but instead we endured 1.5 hours of him not coping, withdrawing, collapsing in a heap, being frustrated and angry - he only started one race (then collapsed within a few steps), and joined in with one other activity, but got so upset when his team didn't win. Teachers didn't seem to be willing to care/engage/support - but they were busy directing their classes.

Poor boy

Dd3 hates sports day, she knows she isntgoing to win and hates coming last. One year she fell and lay on the floor and the HT grabbed her by the hand and virtually dragged her around the track (thats inclusion donchaknow). Dd3 was horrified and has never wanted to take part again.

Luckily the last 2 have been cancelled due to rubbish weather.

Ds Y4 helps the teacher setting the balls out, handing tickets out. This yr when the class is doing stuff he doesn't like joining in for he has been the photographer so he may do that.

When he did join in he would have meltdowns halfway though the race as soon as he realised he wasn't going to win.

How awful taps .

My Ds seems to enjoy sports day up until it's time for the parents to go and then that's when everything comes to a head.

One year he was in the sack race and didn't even get off the starting line an outburst was abrewing so a couple of teachers picked him up and jumped him down the track then he got upset for not receiving a sticker. He also did a short long distance race, he had been telling me about it for weeks, got 3/4 of the way around and just stopped...ended up in a pile on the floor by his team who were of course shouting for him to finish, after looking around a little miffed he finished the race bless and again got upset because he didn't get a sticker.

My ds' sports day was a disaster yesterday too. Me and DH had had to step in so many times to either stop him running off home because a boy poked him in the eye by accident, refusing to take part cos someone bumped off him and then cos someone 'skipped' him going through the net tunnel. I went to speak to the senco and she told me they've been discussing ds and feel he really needs a SNA (TA). I'm in Ireland and I now have to get hold of his psychologist to see if she will give a recommendation for one.
This wasn't one of my best days

I start dreading it in January.

There are so many challenging aspects to sports day - the competition, the noise, the shouting (my son assumes anybody shouting is "cross"), the complicated social rules that come into play, team work, coping with the unexpected (tripping over etc)... Also, for my son, the internal pressure he puts on himself is immense. His perfectionism streak comes into play, and he has a complicated system of where he thinks he should come in every event. The world collapses if he doesn't.

It's not really surprising it's such a hard day is it. I find that school know that it's a difficult day for my son, but find it hard to empathise about quite why. This year I'm planning to be much more pro-active about stepping in if things get tough.

Have you seen this book? www.amazon.co.uk/Adams-Alternative-Sports-Day-Asperger/dp/1843103001/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371106544&sr=8-1&keywords=adam%27s+alternative+sports+day

I'm trying a social stories approach this year too.

Cheers for the link I will have a look. It is almost ridiculous how upset I was for my son, over just 1.5hrs in our day, but I think it just shows how different he is and how unsupported he is at school, so it was hard.

I am glad I posted on here - I suppose I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and it is good to know I am not alone, which is exactly what I feel when I am at school and I feel my ds is alone too. We had an awful time after sports day too, DS just so unhappy, right up until bedtime. One good thing maybe part of the autism, ds woke up happy today, put it all behind him, as if it had never happened. I have thought about keeping ds off and I might do so next year if he is unsupported... If he is still at that school.

DS1 has nothing to do with it. He hates being outside if there's weather and he won't even do PE. He would rather do some work!

ETA, he did get involved, last year, by running a refreshments stand with his 1:1. That's how he gets involved with a lot of school events that he otherwise wants no part of - peddling refreshments or taking charge of music or IT.

I'm intending to keep my DS (reception) off next week as it would just be awful for him. We thought the same for the Christmas play but they did lots of rehearsals but I can't see how they will be able to support him outside and the vast space, change of routine and parents watching will just be too much.

I like the idea of children being able to opt out, help in other ways - why does it have to be so difficult for schools to contemplate not forcing children to join in these events?

I do need to find ways to help ds with the social thinking and coping with losing and doing something imperfectly - if that is what is part of his failure to participate?

Ds (yr5) hates hates hates sports day, he knows he can't win and can't actually do it and in the past just did his version. (egg and spoon race - egg in one hand spoon in other, skipping swing it round like a rodeo etc ) for he last 2 years he has been the helper, he holds the winning rope, puts the bits out for each race, collects score cards etc. He now loves it as he is involved without it being an issue. If he doesn't want to do something they do not force the issue.

Hi my little son is 6 and last year was awful. He was ok for a bit, then got upset which got even worse when he saw me so I went home and he was returned to the classroom. This year it is on his birthday so I have requested an authorised absence, he will be happy at home and I can't stomach his obvious difference and distress being highlighted, specially on his birthday which is hard enough. He's off to special school in September anyway so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I think the staff are at fault here if they are not helping the underdogs. It is not just children with SN that can hate sports day, but all the overweight and unsporty types too.
My DS has ASD and hated the thought of sports day, but I made him take part (he wasn't really traumatised - honest) as he is very bright academically and I just likened it to how all those who are no good at spelling have to take part in spelling tests every week - they don't have the option to drop out.
That said, he did have 1:1 TA, but even those children who didn't would get help if they were struggling. I used to make a point of cheering on and encouraging the underdogs really loudly when they were still struggling to cross the line after all the others had walked off.
DS did managed to get some stickers for 2nd or 3rd place over the years but only in egg and spoon (rules said that if you dropped your egg you had to sit down, so all the cocky fast people were usually out fairly quickly, whilst DS adopted a slow but sure approach) and sack race where the fast people fell over a lot.
I think it actually helped him to tolerate PE at Secondary school although sports day was optional there so he has never taken part.

Nooo, it can't be that time of year again, not so soon, not after last year

Ds had a terrible time in reception on sports day. Couldn't understand why I was there over the other side of the field but he wasn't allowed to go over to me. He hates racing and all the activities were individual races.
I phoned in sick for him on sports day in yr 1.
But we are now at a different school where sports day for key stage one is totally group based and consists of fun team games. They've also been playing the games for the last four weeks so nothing is strange and different on sports day. For example they have a beaker of water to carry along and put in a big beaker at the end of a track. The team with the least water spilt wins. So no one will ever know if it's ds who spills lots of water or not. He is really looking forward to it this year and I'm pretty confident this kind of sports day is so much better for him.