Would you volunteer to teacher aide your own child?

[peanutbuttercup]

DS is getting worse and worse at school. Not getting work done, not getting on with other kids, swearing at the teacher and even running away. He really needs extra help but funding wise he is not going to get much.

I currently work two jobs two days each a week but I am going to give one up and am thinking about offering to be in the classroom for a couple of hours on the three days I'm not at work. I think they will let me but does anyone have any experience of doing this sort of thing? Is it a good idea?
Thanks for any help
Peanut

Hi peanut I have thought the same for my Ds many times although I don't think I would be welcomed with open arms , so will be watching this thread closely. The only thing which puts me off is a) the children taking the micheal because Ds's mummy is in class (as they do ). b) If there's something I see which I don't like I think this may cause a lot more problems. c) we couldn't do this forever, so what would happen then?

Thanks for your reply crazeeladee.

Of your concerns, i don't think the kids would take the Michael too much and I hear about plenty I don't like so not sure if seeing it would cause more problems but c) could be an issue although I could realistically do it for the next four years but then he'll be on to high school and I obviously won't be going there! I've thought about home schooling a lot so this seemed like a compromise to hopefully keep him at school.....

What support is he getting at school now. We have just succeeded in getting a statement for my two boys for similar behavioural issues. I would recommend putting your energies first into this. The school may well tell you he will not get one but even applying for one forces the school into getting the paperwork in place and a visit from the educational psychologist so is beneficial even if they turn you down initially. My boys would not like to have me in the classroom so never been an option for us although dh did accompany them on a school residential which worked out well and there did not seem to be any backlash from the other children.

Why wouldn't he get funding?

Everyone gets told this and it simply isn't true. What IS true is that parents who believe they won't get funding, don't.

I volunteered and you'd be amazed how quickly the Head was able to find TA support for ds. She was desperate for me not to be there! At the time I was desperate for him to have some help/ any help but with hindsight I'm not sure it would have helped him much as he's already quite dependent on me and is more likely to get tearful if I'm around.
I would think carefully about a. Will you volunteering let the school off the hook for providing support for your ds and b. will your prescience in the classroom definitely improve things?

Presence

I had issues at the start of school and was asked to stay and settle DS, come to assembly to support him etc.

I found that my presence made DS clingy and less likely to do as the class is doing, preferring to just want to be with me, have cuddles , and whine about having to do stuff he doesn't like and generally disengage from the classroom environment.
I also found it almost impossible not to jump in when issues were escalating in the classroom with children in general that the teacher's attention was elsewhere.....
I know my place, and that is not as an unpaid TA in the classroom - that is for the LA to provide.

That would be the same for my DS TICKLE, he always asks for me when he is having a pants time at school eg when it was taking him a long time to get ready after swimming bless . He gets clingy and wants to come home when I watch his school concerts, just watching the Dc sat next to him constantly nudging/laughing at him no matter how many times he tried to ignore it during the concert was enough to annoy me.

I do see where OP's coming from though (and have experienced it) she has probably been filled with misleading information and doesn't see any other alternative than to go and do it herself.

My DS displayed some of the same behaviours as yours OP. Apart from being invited in once by the Nursery teacher to observe him and accompanying a small group with him in it on school trips (before he was statemented,) I avoided his classroom as I think it would have made his behaviour worse .

If school cannot cope with your DS then they need to put staffing in place and if that needs a SA then either they or you must set the ball rolling asap. I can see why you would be tempted to take on that role, but it is not a long term (or even a short term IMO) solution.

I doubt very much they will let you into a classroom.

How do you know that funding wise he is not going to get much?. Funding is not something you should unduly concern yourself over. Is he on any formal support currently e.g School Action Plus?. What does the SENCO say?.

I would instead further concentrate on actually getting his needs further met and if that entails applying for a Statement then do this for him. You are his best - and only - advocate here. No-one is better placed than you to fight his corner for him, this is also because no-one else will do so.

Would suggest you seek further advice from IPSEA www.ipsea.org.uk

I offered this at my school, I could volunteer but there was no way I was going to be allowed to be with my ds !

no I wouldnt I just dont believe it is a good thing to introduce.
If your dc needs support a properly trained person should be provided.
Where the budget comes from is not your concern & having you in the classroom really wont do you or your ds any good in the long run.

Does your ds have any formal support or SEN involvement in school? If not push for a formal stat assessment to determine what support he needs.
If he is not able to focus enough to learn, is being disruptive & running away then these are very good grounds for SA.
The LA (school) must put in adequate provision and support to allow your child to access the curriculum equal to his non disabled peers, they also have a safeguarding responsibility to him & other staff & children

Thanks for replies. We are in the process of assessment and will be doing an IEP next week with a psychologist who has been observing DS. Currently he has no extra support. I will see what comes out of that. We are in NZ so the system is slightly different and the funding considerably less but I will be pushing for whatever I can get.