Possible diagnosis of autism

[FutureMum]

My daughter 2yrs 3/4 started developing normally, she was early into babbling/ speaking and learnt to count, singing songs along etc but after a while of doing these things they disappeared. She can say lots of words and small sentences but doesn't use them, communicates mainly by squeals, pointing with her eyes, getting stuff herself. She does say words like mummy, daddy, more, nappy, and has said lots of words and short sentences, but she uses them sporadically rather than continuous. She used to line things up precisely and turn wheels but has now grown out of this.
She started hand flapping and squealing when excited over the last month or two. We've been told her imaginative play is basic, this has improved since she went to nursery pt nine months ago (DH was stay at home before then). But at the SALT initial assessment, she raised the possibility of ASD and referred us to CAHMS (awaiting to hear.) Devastated. Upset about the possibilities, not knowing what to do know or where she is in the spectrum or indeed if this is what it is. She has had unfortunately not the opportunity to mix up enough with kiddies before she turned 2 and I wonder if this affected her development or if it's ASD. Nursery seemed to expect this but they never approached me with any concerns before.

FutureMum - I was like you when mine was ~2yrs old too. The only difference was mine was way more delayed and the "professionals" kept calling it a delay and kept fobbing me off. A very helpful mum on ivillage actually pointed me in the right direction and I did a run on here - www.firstsigns.org/concerns/flags.htm

It proved to me that something was wrong and it needed looking into. Its very difficult to accept someone else calling your "perfect/normal" child autistic. But believe me, by the time the professionals called it ASD, I had gotten over the initial shock and grief and was getting the help already.

What I am trying to say is that, keep pushing for assessments. If you think they are not moving fast enough, and you can afford private then go for it. Good Paediatric neurologists and developmental paediatricians have long waiting lists.

Meanwhile, also start video recording your child to see if there is pattern

A very helpful advice I got was, not to wait for diagnosis and treat it like autism. There is a lot of information available on this forum on what interventions are possible.

If your nursery suspected it and didn't approach you, they didnt do you or your child any good. Could you possiblly have a chat with the SENCO. You may actually start the statementing process at 2, so push them for that.

(hugs). Its a difficult time. Hopefully you will get some answers soon.

What salondon said. And don't blame yourself- its inaccurate but more importantly it's a timewasting distraction. For what its worth, I thought I'd caused the issues by sending dc to nursery with other dc.

Eye pointing, words and fetching stuff herself at 2y sound to me like good signs, I'm guessing that diagnosis or no, she's headed for a feisty, bright, and very verbal outcome.

Hi, thanks for both comments. What would be involved in the statementing process? Would DD get extra support at the nursery or does this only apply in school?

The 'red flags' section on first signs is very interesting. None of the red flags in social interaction apply to DD, but all of the communication ones do completely and, to a lesser extent, the repetitive movements one, too.

I love my DD lots and I am sure this will come with time, but now I don't feel ready to really accept yet there's something wrong and I am trying to clutch at straws while we wait for the proper assessment (unfortunately can't afford private.) Also feeling terribly envious of parents who have little conversations with their toddlers or whose babies seem healthy, but I am not beating myself up for it.

I'm at a very similar point in this journey (just got DS2's diagnosis at 2.5 m) and so don't have reams of experience to offer, but I think one of the hardest things about this stage is feeling envious of friends and other people who are able to interact with their children in ways you can't. And the often striking contrast between your child and others at toddler groups/nursery, etc. I don't know, because I'm new at all this, but suspect these feelings resolve themselves as you accept the diagnosis/problem. Definitely keep pushing, and keep a log of issues and concerns. We found this really helpful in the run up to DS2's MDA.

The thing that I can't get really my head around is the fact that there seems to be short circuit operating in DD's head. She sometimes says words, even sentences, that to me reveal quite sophisticated thinking/structure - we gave her an empty box of chocolates to play with and she asked, very clearly, 'where's the rest?'. Things like that happen a few times a week, but they are like drops in the ocean. If you try to get her to wave bye to you when you are going you succeed very, very rarely, and earlier this week I asked her where was Peppa Pig in a poster and she actually pointed (which was amazing, even if it was Daddy Pig!). But there's no consistency, so every time this happens I set my hopes up that she may be turning the corner, and then there's no real consistent progression, whereas it seems to come so easily to other children. Haven't had the diagnosis yet, but I am finding it so hard, devastated, because for the first 18 months- 2 years things seemed fine, I just had this picture of a future in my heart that's been broken.